She's a Screamer - Part XI - DuVista
Natalia left in a hurry, starting to jog at a medium pace along the beach. She could see more clearly than she had hoped; the moon dipping everything into a silvery glow. Again she ran through the shallow water rather than through the sand, not caring if her shoes and even her dress were ruined in the process. She was too worried to care. Several footprints were teading towards the door in the fance she had passed with Calleigh earlier that day and she couldn’t be sure if any of them belonged to her blond friend. Nevertheless she tried to look everywhere for any sign Calleigh could have left.
Natalia tried to keep calm; she needed to be level headed about this. She only had limited success though. In her head she replayed the last minutes on the dancefloor with Calleigh and tried to figure out what went so terribly wrong. The kiss had been perfect. No! More than perfect. She had never felt like this with anyone her whole life. And she knew in her heart that Calleigh had felt the exact same thing. Like belonging, like coming home, like right. But suddenly something changed; something had seriously freaked out Calleigh. What happened? Did she push to far? Did she misjudge Calleighs behavior? From the looks her friend had given her during the evening and their dancing she had assumed that Calleigh was interested in her as more than a friend, that she felt the same way about her. But maybe she’d assumed wrong. Maybe Calleigh really only wanted to be friends. And now she had ruined their friendship by crossing a line. She desperately needed to talk to Calleigh. She needed to explain, to apologize. Somehow they had to make their friendship survive this. If she couldn’t have Calleigh in her life as a lover, she needed her as a friend at least.
Over and over again those last moments replayed in her head. But still she couldn’t make sense of Cal’s reaction. She had been a freaked out a little herself, the intensity of her feelings surprising her, but even if Calleigh didn’t feel the same way she did was there really a need to run from her? They were friends after all; they simply could have talked about it. They would have worked it out. So why the total freak out? Why the need to run? And what about that “what-have-I-done” thing? It sounded like she though that she had broken some holy oath or something along those lines.
Natalia kept a steady pace along the water trying to estimate where she had to move towards the cliff in order to find the path that lead up to the lighthouse. Nothing looked familiar to her. In the silvery light everything looked different. Careful not to trip on the rocky beach and hurting herself in the proces she slowed down and finally stopped to search for a hint in the cliffs now towering above her. She had now idea how far she’d already run. Maybe she’d run to far already, or maybe not. Natalia had no idea what to do. How should she find that damn path?
And finally she saw it. The lighthouse. The moonlight was reflecting off the glass top like it was sending a light signal just for her to find the way. She couldn’t exactly tell the distance to the lighthouse but she felt drawn towards the cliff now. Relief flooded through her. Sure she simply could have gone back to her room, hoping fpr Calleigh to come back in one piece, and if she didn’t starting to look for her at first light. But would she been able to forgive herself if something happened to her friend? Or if she did something really stupid? Just because Natalia couldn’t find a stupid way to a lighthouse? No, going back had never been an option really.
The sighed in relief when she finally reached the bottom of the cliff, seeing the path only a few feet away. Her energies renewed she picked up speed again throwing herself into the way upwards.
The way didn’t go up in a straight line so the path lay partially in shadows. Natalia cursed under her breath. ‘You need a flashlight? There’s an App for that! Stupid commercial!’
Every now and again she had to slow down to get through those dark sections in one piece. And those speed changes really got to her quickly. It wasn’t that she wasn’t phisically fit. The distance wouldn’t have been a problem at all for her. But the ascending slope coupled with the need to slow down and pick up speed again over and over again wore her down. She tried to keep her breathing even, always looking down onto the path to avoid any hippen bumps, while going as fast as she dared to.
It seemed like she had run for an eternity, her lungs were burning, her legs started to cramp when she finally reached the door in the cliff. She slowed down, torn between the need to storm into the building at once checking up on Calleigh and her need to catch her breath and focus her thoughts again first.
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Calleigh couldn’t believe it. She kissed Natalia. She was so sucked into the moment, the dancing, Natalia’s eyes, the moon. It all had just been so perfect. How could she have done this? What made her think it would be okay to kiss her? She had sworn to herself that this was all about Nat and their friendship. This could not been happening. She ruined everything. How could she have been so careless? Sure Natalia seemed to like it, but she did have some drinks. Was it the booze that made her loosen up that much? Or was Natalia really returning her feelings? Either way, this shouldn’t have happened. Not without them having a serious talk about it; when they were both sober.
Without any concious thought about where she was headed she had run off towards their room only to decide there that Natalia would come look for her here first. Like on autopilot she traded her stilettos for her running shoes and ran off into the night again. She needed some time alone to think about this, she needed to calm down before she could face her friend If we’re still friends that is. again.
Calleigh could still feel Natalia’s body pressed up against hers, could still feel her lips on her own, moving slowly, sensually. Tasting like Long Island Ice Tea and like something so entirely uniquely Natalia that the memory alone sent shivers down her spine. And Natalia’s eyes. She had never seen them so dark and so full of life, sparkling, glowing, ablaze with arousal. Her glance seemingly burning her, setting her already smoldering body onto raging flames, sending liquid fire through her veins.
The memories did nothing to soothe Calleigh’s nerves, so she picked up speed and all but sprinted down the beach. She didn’t even slow down when the ground changed to rocks, not even realizing the danger she was in. She tried to focus on her breathing, on her legs pushing her forward in a steady rhythm. In - out - right - left - in - out - right -left. She pusher herself forward, upwards, faster. Trying to outrun her confuse feelings.
When she got to the door she realized that it wouldn’t be that easy. She couldn’t run from her feelings. Literally. She calmed down a bit and finally realized where she was and what she’d done. Pondering if she should head back as to not worry Natalia further she decided against it. She was exhausted and she needed some alone time anyway. She would head back down at dawn, hoping that Natalia hadn’t left so they could clear things up. And stay friends.
She opened the doors and stepped inside, feeling calmer at once. She desperately needed a drink to calm her nerves and once more she was thankful that she never keptalcohol in here. She grabbed a bottle water from the fridge instead and climed the stairs to the upper level. The familiar sight, the moon shining bright upon the wide ocean, some position lights of ships and planes in the far distance blurring the line between water and sky in the darkness.
The bottle in her hands all but forgotten she stared out over the sea and let the memories of the evening come back to her, more calmly now. Not a jumbled mass as before. There was no point in her memories where she found she could have done anything different, at least not without hurting Natalia. She thought back to the last moments again.
‘Why? Why on earth did I bolt like that? She must think I’m a total nut case. Any reaction would have been better than THAT. Even sleeping with her couldn’t have ruined things more than this. Okay, the morning would probably been really awkward, but we would have talked about it. We could have blamed it on the booze, the moon, the Bossa-Nova. I would have stored the memory away carefully, so I wouldn’t have forgotten a single moment, and Natalia could fake memory loss, not remembering anything clearly and we would have gone back to where we were before tonight. But now? Now she’ll want an explaination? And she has every right to. I really hope she’s not packing right now. And that I can at least try to explain to her how I feel about her, but that I would never want anything she’s not ready for and that I’ll be pretty content with us being friends.’
Calleigh was so lost in her train of thought that she didin’t notice the door to the light house open and only when Natalia called out for her did she come back to the here and now. Freezing in shock. ‘Natalia. She’s here.’