I am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.
I haven't posted in a while. There was a lot I could have said, because a lot went on in this past week. But I figure if someone really needed to know they could come to me. And they have. Thank you Eden, my love, for being so understanding. It's so hard to tell anyone anything now because I know they'll judge me. I really like where I'm at now, socially. I feel so secure. And I just wanted to say thank you.
On the other hand, I'm really worried about my dad. His brother just died. He got in a fight and got stabbed. None of us were ever really close to him; he was one of those acid casualties, y'know? He stole money from us and put us through all this shit, but my dad really doesn't need this right now. I love him so much now that he's stopped drinking. We're so much closer and I hope more than anything that he doesn't just resort to picking up a drink and making it all go away. I know it works miracles but I really love seeing him smile and I don't want to lose that. I'm just so worried for him. No one should lose both their parents and their brother within a few years. Besides, it's not like I haven't been contributing to his stress. I hate myself for that weekend,a nd all the times before I've made him frown. I can see myself in the lines in his forehead.
But I really am the luckiest girl in the world. Do you want to know why I'm smiling? Because I just got off the phone with the most amazing person ever and I know that there's no way I'm ever going to live without him. Because I love him. I really do and I've come to realize that I've never really known what that was until these last few months. It drives me crazy, but it's just so worth holding on for. But talking to him, even for just a little, makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
On the other hand, I'm really worried about my dad. His brother just died. He got in a fight and got stabbed. None of us were ever really close to him; he was one of those acid casualties, y'know? He stole money from us and put us through all this shit, but my dad really doesn't need this right now. I love him so much now that he's stopped drinking. We're so much closer and I hope more than anything that he doesn't just resort to picking up a drink and making it all go away. I know it works miracles but I really love seeing him smile and I don't want to lose that. I'm just so worried for him. No one should lose both their parents and their brother within a few years. Besides, it's not like I haven't been contributing to his stress. I hate myself for that weekend,a nd all the times before I've made him frown. I can see myself in the lines in his forehead.
But I really am the luckiest girl in the world. Do you want to know why I'm smiling? Because I just got off the phone with the most amazing person ever and I know that there's no way I'm ever going to live without him. Because I love him. I really do and I've come to realize that I've never really known what that was until these last few months. It drives me crazy, but it's just so worth holding on for. But talking to him, even for just a little, makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world.