(no subject)
i just saw nico on my lunch break at work. well my break for me to go to school, but instead of going to school, i went to his house.
where he pampered me and made me breakfast and told me how much he loved me every five minutes. amazing.
we have had a couple long discussions about us as a whole this week. the first one was about me being upfront with him (about anything) and not beaing afraid to tell him certain things or leave things out. he referred to it as a puzzle that he had to figure out, and he just wanted me to be me. because that is who he loves and doesn't need me to pretend to be anything more. i thought that i always had to prove myself to him, and be so perfect with everything i said and did, and in the end.. it just made our relationship less real. since this was braught to my attention i have said fuck it, i am not afraid of anything anymore i am not going to lie, or leave anything unspoken...if i feel something i say it, if i want to do something i do it. i am not ashamed to be me. i am okay with it now, because i know that he is. the second consisted of him telling me how fucked up of a person he was. and about his childhood and how he knows that he doesn't appreciate me as much as he should. and he knows that he is an asshole. he says he can't control it, but i tried to convince him that he is the ONLY one who can control it....he promised that he is going to be better because he knows that he is lucky to have me and called me his rock. he said he couldn't handle losing me, and i beleive him. he told me that he needs me and that he was too afraid to let me know, but the truth is... i already knew. he introduced me as his girlfriend lastnight, he wanted to introduce me. he's never done that before. it meant so much to me, and i knew that if he was doing that...there was no more pride involved (which he admited he was...too proud) and today when i went there on my break... i could see such a change in him... he has NEVER acted so good to me before... i know that it's real. and we're real. and i'm just so happy right now, and excited about being with him... i almost can't beleive it's happening to me, out of all people... but i deserve it. so finally!! i get what i need.
idk what else to say... there was more personal stuff involved in the convos ya'll don't need to know about, but i just pointed out key points in them...
anyways. hope everyone had a happy halloween....meehhhhh
<3<3i'm so tired.
off work at 630.
park concert 7 or 8
idk.
sleep until the world ends.
yah. that is my plan.
adios
where he pampered me and made me breakfast and told me how much he loved me every five minutes. amazing.
we have had a couple long discussions about us as a whole this week. the first one was about me being upfront with him (about anything) and not beaing afraid to tell him certain things or leave things out. he referred to it as a puzzle that he had to figure out, and he just wanted me to be me. because that is who he loves and doesn't need me to pretend to be anything more. i thought that i always had to prove myself to him, and be so perfect with everything i said and did, and in the end.. it just made our relationship less real. since this was braught to my attention i have said fuck it, i am not afraid of anything anymore i am not going to lie, or leave anything unspoken...if i feel something i say it, if i want to do something i do it. i am not ashamed to be me. i am okay with it now, because i know that he is. the second consisted of him telling me how fucked up of a person he was. and about his childhood and how he knows that he doesn't appreciate me as much as he should. and he knows that he is an asshole. he says he can't control it, but i tried to convince him that he is the ONLY one who can control it....he promised that he is going to be better because he knows that he is lucky to have me and called me his rock. he said he couldn't handle losing me, and i beleive him. he told me that he needs me and that he was too afraid to let me know, but the truth is... i already knew. he introduced me as his girlfriend lastnight, he wanted to introduce me. he's never done that before. it meant so much to me, and i knew that if he was doing that...there was no more pride involved (which he admited he was...too proud) and today when i went there on my break... i could see such a change in him... he has NEVER acted so good to me before... i know that it's real. and we're real. and i'm just so happy right now, and excited about being with him... i almost can't beleive it's happening to me, out of all people... but i deserve it. so finally!! i get what i need.
idk what else to say... there was more personal stuff involved in the convos ya'll don't need to know about, but i just pointed out key points in them...
anyways. hope everyone had a happy halloween....meehhhhh
<3<3i'm so tired.
off work at 630.
park concert 7 or 8
idk.
sleep until the world ends.
yah. that is my plan.
adios