week 11 entry
David was drumming the armrest with his finger, sweat beginning to drip down his forehead. Hundreds of questions darted back and forth in his mind, he struggled to keep up. Hardly noticing the woman sitting beside him, he took out his plane ticket and stared at it, trying to convince himself of the reality he was faced with…
"You have a daughter, David."
The phone call repeated again in his memory. The woman’s voice sounded so distant and unfamiliar, he actually wondered if she had dialled the right number. She was still a teenage girl in his eyes. A teenage girl he fell in love with back in Sydney. He stopped in complete disbelief, trying to put together the missing puzzle pieces."I don’t understand how this happened. I haven’t seen you since I moved here all those years ago." He finally replied. "I know. She’s eighteen now. She wants to meet you, she has her whole life."
*
Good Morning. Thankyou for travelling with Qantas. Please remain seated during proceeding safety instructions.
*
He opened his eyes and sunk back into his chair on the train. He began to wonder if he had made the right decision, coming to meet her. Was it too late to begin a relationship with her now? Until that night a few weeks ago, he hadn’t even known that she existed. He hadn’t even seen a photo of her. What was her name? Did she look like him at all? Did she wonder where her father had been all her life?
His stomach dropped. There was a sense of guilt that seemed to linger with him since the phone call. He didn’t even deserve to be a father.
"No sooner does it all begin to make sense, do you begin to see. No sooner do you open up, do you finally understand."David was drawn from his thoughts. "I beg your pardon?" "Sorry, just something interesting…" She gestured to the book in her hands. David sighed. Great. "There’s something troubling you." The woman stated, abruptly. "Yeah, I just got a lot on my plate at the moment." David replied dismissively. "Mm, I know that look. Don’t worry too much darl. Look out the window. You’re missing the sights!" David actually struggled to withhold his laughter that welled up inside of him. He was getting annoyed." That’s the last thing I’m worried about. I can see the sights any day. It’s cloudy too - not much I can see. "Maybe you aren’t looking hard enough."He stared at the woman. He was able to look at her properly. Her skin was dry and pale and her eyes a piercing green. Warmth exuberated from her gentle face and David began to feel at ease.
"What’s bothering you?" The woman asked softly. "I’m going to meet someone… my daughter." That was the first time he had said that out loud. "That should be lovely!" "No. We’ve never met before. To be honest, her mother just told me that I was a father. I’m scared of what will happen when I see her. I mean, I’m thirty-six years old. My job is probably the most important thing in my life. What can I offer her?" "I’m sure you’ll be alright." She smiled. David could feel himself getting worked up again. "I mean I just want things to work out… for all of us." The woman laughed.
"Look, we all want a positive outcome. We want things to turn out the way we want them to. But that’s the beauty of life. It’s a journey and there will always be unpredictable events and challenges you need to face. Meanwhile, you just need to enjoy the ride." She closed her eyes and seemed to doze off. David sat there, silent. He was still unsure. One thing he was certain of was that gradually he was drawing closer to uncovering the enigma that was his daughter.
*
Please fasten your seatbelts. We’ll be landing in Sydney shortly.
*
The woman next to David was still sleeping. He was left again with his thoughts, questions continued to flood his mind. He looked out the window and saw the city of Sydney in the distance. The vibrancy and life that filled it was easy to see past the grey. David then began to realise the wealth of this opportunity. A new relationship and an old one being rekindled…"Glad to see you’re seeing beyond the clouds." The woman had woken up and was staring at David. "Yep. Just checking out the sights." David smiled. He finally realised what she meant.