An new (and old) mode of venting.....
Ok, so I stumbled upon my old journal. It has been over 3 years since I have used this. I have always been bad at keeping up with this journal. Life gets in the way, and myspace was created. I figure that it's time I have another mode of venting.
So today I found out that a teacher at my school went missing. On Monday, she dropped her kids off at her parents, like she does every morning. She withdrew hundreds from the ATM, and then disappeared. Later in the day I found out that she drove to Texas. No word as to why. She did not make contact with anyone from Monday through today. I wonder what was going through her head. I guess she suffered from depression and maybe she couldn't take things anymore. All I know is that I am happy that she is safe. She should seek the help she needs now.
As for me... well i have a cold. I stayed home from school today to try to recover. When I am sick I cannot take being a teacher, I just want everyone to leave me alone. The pressure in my head and kids don't mix.
Love. hmm. It's true that it's a battlefield. I have been fighting this battle for 6 months now. wow. I just counted the months and didn't realize that it had been that long. How can I still have the energy? I have fought and cried, fought and cried. Then literally fought. I never thought I would be brought to the point to actually hit her, but I did. How could I have done that knowing her past? Knowing how she was beat as a kid? Now I understand how people can plead insanity. I was full of rage and emotion that I didn't think - I reacted. All in all things are better than they were in July - October. At least now I know the truth and can start to move on. Before, I was being lied to - and I knew it. But there was no way for me to make her come clean. It was a process that took a really long time. And throughout that time I had to live with being lied to, being made out to be a fool. That was the hardest part. I knew I was right, but yet there was nothing I could do about it. I had to wait. And wait.
Now it is time to somehow sew back up what had been ripped. I pray (not that I pray), that this road I'm on is finally the right one. I am a strong person, but I am really sick and tired of being on a winding road. I really just want to be headed straight toward the good things - without pit stops. Is that too much to ask?
So today I found out that a teacher at my school went missing. On Monday, she dropped her kids off at her parents, like she does every morning. She withdrew hundreds from the ATM, and then disappeared. Later in the day I found out that she drove to Texas. No word as to why. She did not make contact with anyone from Monday through today. I wonder what was going through her head. I guess she suffered from depression and maybe she couldn't take things anymore. All I know is that I am happy that she is safe. She should seek the help she needs now.
As for me... well i have a cold. I stayed home from school today to try to recover. When I am sick I cannot take being a teacher, I just want everyone to leave me alone. The pressure in my head and kids don't mix.
Love. hmm. It's true that it's a battlefield. I have been fighting this battle for 6 months now. wow. I just counted the months and didn't realize that it had been that long. How can I still have the energy? I have fought and cried, fought and cried. Then literally fought. I never thought I would be brought to the point to actually hit her, but I did. How could I have done that knowing her past? Knowing how she was beat as a kid? Now I understand how people can plead insanity. I was full of rage and emotion that I didn't think - I reacted. All in all things are better than they were in July - October. At least now I know the truth and can start to move on. Before, I was being lied to - and I knew it. But there was no way for me to make her come clean. It was a process that took a really long time. And throughout that time I had to live with being lied to, being made out to be a fool. That was the hardest part. I knew I was right, but yet there was nothing I could do about it. I had to wait. And wait.
Now it is time to somehow sew back up what had been ripped. I pray (not that I pray), that this road I'm on is finally the right one. I am a strong person, but I am really sick and tired of being on a winding road. I really just want to be headed straight toward the good things - without pit stops. Is that too much to ask?