jeeeperz!
i think ill make this journal entry public... i need to reach out to my public, we need to open the internet highway to every one with a computer... i need aim plus or dead aim... i wanna put 2 screen names on... but i hate that linked shit... Jeremy wants to leave his up for his buddy profile... n i cant freakin do it... so as a united internet, open up the fuckin highways... can any 1 help?
im goin to healthy families soon... to see dorie... shes a person who helps me b/c im a first time mother under 20... and than i will go see my therapist while Jeremy sees ramon... a guy who helps the fathers... they help you learn about your baby... it helps a lot... if ne 1 needs the number tell me... it helps a lot... they can help you get stuff and everything... they have groups once a month and theirs a bunch of teen mothers there... with their babies... they have groups once a week to... i dono what day... i dont go to that one... wow... i sound like an infomercial...
ok now that ive advertised for MSPCC i will talk about life... im freakin tired... christopher is waking up earlier and earlier each morning... hes insane... its like... he wakes up at 7 for a few mornings and now at 650... hes gonna kill me... 13 days till Jeremy gets him over night...
well... i hafta go... i am all ready and i look like a person... not a monster from a horror film any more!!ill write more when i come back...
ONCE AGAIN- he knows i feel fat... and he sits there and watches euro trip... didnt i write about this once before? oh yea... a few days ago... its a stupid movie, the only thing he could possibly be watchin it for is the nudity... he says b/c its funny... i think not...
why are their no naked hot guys in any movies besides porn? jesus... women are put out their like hoes all the time... i wanna fuckin go home... n he wont take me... i think this relationship is gonna end...
well... we fought and worked it out... things are good now... i guess... he still dont understand my reasoning... besides the fact i feel like a beachwhale... i feel like i weigh 190lbs... i weigh 135 *embarrased* but Jeremy thinks im skinny... i wont be happy till im 125ish... 10 more pounds to go! imma start doin sittups and exercizing though... walking with the baby sounds like a good idea... i havent been TRYING to loose the weight... maybe its the meds im on... who cares? im getting a lil bit thinner... maybe when ever its nice out ill walk with the baby for a few hours... and if Jeremy wants to come too... i would like that...
Stephy will you marry me and be my wife. and live together for the rest of are lives. i want to make you the happiest girl on the face of the earth. yes or no? well... no im not infatuated with myself... Jeremy wrote it... (i highlighted yes)
god... im still hyperventalating (cant breathe) from the arguement... i had an anxiety attack... a BAD one, for about 30 minutes, it fuckin hurts... i cant help it... and when they keep yelling it makes it worse b/c i get scared when i get yelled at... and my panic attacks get even worse... i thought i was gonna have to go to the hospital this time... not that i would have any way of getting there... Jeremy was yelling so loud if i woulda died he wouldnt have even known...
i was thinking... i have so many people i havent talked to in a while and i miss them, but i wonder if i called them if theyd remember me... its weird i know... but... i have so many people i miss...
so anyways people hows life? is it good? i hope so! i hafta go though...
im goin to healthy families soon... to see dorie... shes a person who helps me b/c im a first time mother under 20... and than i will go see my therapist while Jeremy sees ramon... a guy who helps the fathers... they help you learn about your baby... it helps a lot... if ne 1 needs the number tell me... it helps a lot... they can help you get stuff and everything... they have groups once a month and theirs a bunch of teen mothers there... with their babies... they have groups once a week to... i dono what day... i dont go to that one... wow... i sound like an infomercial...
ok now that ive advertised for MSPCC i will talk about life... im freakin tired... christopher is waking up earlier and earlier each morning... hes insane... its like... he wakes up at 7 for a few mornings and now at 650... hes gonna kill me... 13 days till Jeremy gets him over night...
well... i hafta go... i am all ready and i look like a person... not a monster from a horror film any more!!ill write more when i come back...
ONCE AGAIN- he knows i feel fat... and he sits there and watches euro trip... didnt i write about this once before? oh yea... a few days ago... its a stupid movie, the only thing he could possibly be watchin it for is the nudity... he says b/c its funny... i think not...
why are their no naked hot guys in any movies besides porn? jesus... women are put out their like hoes all the time... i wanna fuckin go home... n he wont take me... i think this relationship is gonna end...
well... we fought and worked it out... things are good now... i guess... he still dont understand my reasoning... besides the fact i feel like a beachwhale... i feel like i weigh 190lbs... i weigh 135 *embarrased* but Jeremy thinks im skinny... i wont be happy till im 125ish... 10 more pounds to go! imma start doin sittups and exercizing though... walking with the baby sounds like a good idea... i havent been TRYING to loose the weight... maybe its the meds im on... who cares? im getting a lil bit thinner... maybe when ever its nice out ill walk with the baby for a few hours... and if Jeremy wants to come too... i would like that...
Stephy will you marry me and be my wife. and live together for the rest of are lives. i want to make you the happiest girl on the face of the earth. yes or no? well... no im not infatuated with myself... Jeremy wrote it... (i highlighted yes)
god... im still hyperventalating (cant breathe) from the arguement... i had an anxiety attack... a BAD one, for about 30 minutes, it fuckin hurts... i cant help it... and when they keep yelling it makes it worse b/c i get scared when i get yelled at... and my panic attacks get even worse... i thought i was gonna have to go to the hospital this time... not that i would have any way of getting there... Jeremy was yelling so loud if i woulda died he wouldnt have even known...
i was thinking... i have so many people i havent talked to in a while and i miss them, but i wonder if i called them if theyd remember me... its weird i know... but... i have so many people i miss...
so anyways people hows life? is it good? i hope so! i hafta go though...