(no subject)
It has been too long my friends that I have been away from writing.......
To begin, I think I am possibly deep in love....... I don't know what it is about him...... I hold back because I am afraid that it is all a cover for a true monstrous situation, but also, he is so genuine...... So kind and so understanding...... It is good to feel this way GREAT to feel this way...... It has been so long....... I have been in relationships since my first love, but have never felt connected or felt the need to let myself become apart of it........ I guess it was just a need to feel physically loved, because one can confuse physical love with true emotional love....... But I feel that I can let my hair down so to speak this time around....... I feel like I am 15 again...... not a 15 year old sense of mind, but that I can let go of all my inhibitions and fears and he will still view me the same...... I can wake up in the morning with my hair unbrushed, clothes wrinkled, and face natural and he still smiles at me the same way....... With compassion and thoughtfulness and deep gratitude that I am in his life...... I am going to let myself be free and natural and ME...... I want him to love me for who I am and not who I think appeals to him, because I MYSELF appeal to him...... Maybe this is what I was supposed to find...... He makes me laugh he has no judgement on me or my life or friends...... We have so much in common yet are completely different..... He learns from me and I learn from him....... I love how this all feels...... I forgot about it...... Rather I tossed it out as being real and made it all a fantasy........ This might not be it, but for now........ I am enjoying how this story is unraveling!
To begin, I think I am possibly deep in love....... I don't know what it is about him...... I hold back because I am afraid that it is all a cover for a true monstrous situation, but also, he is so genuine...... So kind and so understanding...... It is good to feel this way GREAT to feel this way...... It has been so long....... I have been in relationships since my first love, but have never felt connected or felt the need to let myself become apart of it........ I guess it was just a need to feel physically loved, because one can confuse physical love with true emotional love....... But I feel that I can let my hair down so to speak this time around....... I feel like I am 15 again...... not a 15 year old sense of mind, but that I can let go of all my inhibitions and fears and he will still view me the same...... I can wake up in the morning with my hair unbrushed, clothes wrinkled, and face natural and he still smiles at me the same way....... With compassion and thoughtfulness and deep gratitude that I am in his life...... I am going to let myself be free and natural and ME...... I want him to love me for who I am and not who I think appeals to him, because I MYSELF appeal to him...... Maybe this is what I was supposed to find...... He makes me laugh he has no judgement on me or my life or friends...... We have so much in common yet are completely different..... He learns from me and I learn from him....... I love how this all feels...... I forgot about it...... Rather I tossed it out as being real and made it all a fantasy........ This might not be it, but for now........ I am enjoying how this story is unraveling!