Nov 05, 2012 09:59
Transitions lenses do not reverse the gender of your eyes.
Sandy Duncan did not “sponsor” the hurricane.
There are many black people, not just one who is a master of disguise.
Brian Kilmeade did not invent the term “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.”
Not all pigs are born with human feet.
Angela Merkel is not the female version of Steve Urkel.
It is permissible to say the word “Mexican” on television.
There is no celebrity named Rape Romano.
Condoms work every day of the week. Not just Tuesdays.
Trees do not have bones.
There are a finite number of people in China.
Burritos are not “male tacos.”
The Constitution is a living document, but it cannot walk around.
Chef Boyardee is not the Prime Minister of Italy. He is the Vice President.
Paul Ryan is not faster than a cheetah.
FEMA is not slang for female.
Many Hispanics own their own cars.
The Statue of Liberty was not a gift from Santa.
At no point has Dorf been the number one golfer in the world.
Lance Armstrong did not trade a testicle for steroids.
Michael J. Fox does not have “multiple sandwiches.”
Apple Maps is not a map showing where the apples are.
8 is a multiple of 4.
Women’s vaginas are below their waists.
“Kris Krostie” is not Chris Christie with his pants on backwards.
Afi Komen was never the U.N. Secretary General.
Haitian does not mean “half-Asian.”
Last Wednesday was Halloween. Not a “ghost invasion.”
Mr. Met has never announced a preference for any religion over the other.
Chef Boyardee is not the Vice President of Italy.
The Bible was not a movie first.
Stalactites is not a childhood disease.
Iowa City never elected Mayor McCheese.
Allegra is not a religion.
Jeremy Lin was traded, not deported.
The sun and the moon do not high-five as they pass each other.
Vaginas don’t look like that
A dead person’s skull does not contain their memories.
Ron Paul is one person.
Not all cats are gay.
The Atlanta Hawks are a team, not an infestation.
Ellen Degeneres never married a car.
Benedict Arnold was not a character on Diff’rent Strokes.
A wind turbine has never cut off the head of a pretty girl in a convertible.
The Tasmanian Devil is not the president of Tasmania.
Star Wars is essentially a work of fiction.
Al Gore never claimed to invent Nintendo.
Hawaii does not rotate every six months.
Neil Armstrong was not the first person to moon someone.
The Keystone Pipeline is not filled with Keystone Light.
Swiss banks are not “full of holes.”
Camp David does not have a sister camp called Camp Denise.
Oogielovie is not a sexually transmitted disease.
They did not make Mars after the Mars Rover.
Monica Lewinsky was never in an internment camp.
Six comes after five.
Kim Jong-Un is not the CEO of Yahoo.
Left-handed people cannot read your thoughts.
Lobsters are not “ocean spiders.”
Cat Fancy is a magazine, not a man/cat dating website.
The U.S. Postal Service never released a Kesha stamp.
“F” is not a blood type.
Parsley is not one of the Spice Girls.
Usain Bolt is not a new action movie starring John C. Reilly.
Libor is not a giant praying mantis.
Old Navy is not one of the armed forces.
The letters in “Massachusetts” cannot be rearranged to spell “same sex marriage.”
Crabs don’t breastfeed.
Animal Planet is not an acceptable nickname for Telemundo.
Marco Rubio does not play for the Timberwolves.
Al Jazeera is not the co-host of “Tool Time.”
Babies never “skip ahead” to being 10.
Angela Merkel is not a palindrome.
You can’t outrun polio.
The Negro League is not “back and better than ever.”
Latin inches is not the Mexican metric system.
The Russian national anthem is not the U.S. national anthem played backwards.
Rocky never fought Lassie.