people
people shock me daily
the things they do the way they act the things they say
hwo irrational people can be
how blind to their own faults and even more blind to their strengths
AND GIRLS. oh fuck being a girl. as beautifully complex as a girl is it is too much sometimes. it is too intense and too intricate and too over whelming. we hate ourselves and know at the same time that were beautiful. we act strong but feel so out of control and weak. we constantly do and say the things we are expected to do and say because that is was we have been domesticated to do. we are the puppets society and i know this sounds feminstic but it is not intended that way at all. and if you read MY journal and don't understand then stop now. click onto facebook or myspace or ebay or youtube.
i watch my friends get hurt and it hurts me. how remarkabley cruel and inhumane some people can be. how judgemental and unsympathetic. how irrationally selfish.
and then there are people in line at einsteins who give a friendly word of advice to two cracked out stressing freshman. or people who pull over onto the side of the road when they see two girls who look stranded. the people who are sympathetic if they cannot be empathetic. the people who restore my faith in people.
im ranting. i dont care.
lately i have been so consumed by so much information i find myself unhealthily nostalgic. nostalgic for any simpler time. it's really so short of a time we have to be completely innocent before we're undoubetly jaded.
i have so many expectations of me that i expect your expectations to be higher. i'm terrified of not meeting my own expectations-how am i to meet yours? or maybe you expect nothing of me. that is a bigger mistake.
or maybe i dont know what im talking about. maybe i havent slept in two days and i am just 19 and feeling all things that i am supposed to. but somehow its different. because not every 19 year old girl knows the things i know. have felt the things ive felt. seen the things ive seen. and most painfully lost the things. the people. the parents. the family. the innocence i have so unwillingly lost.
the things they do the way they act the things they say
hwo irrational people can be
how blind to their own faults and even more blind to their strengths
AND GIRLS. oh fuck being a girl. as beautifully complex as a girl is it is too much sometimes. it is too intense and too intricate and too over whelming. we hate ourselves and know at the same time that were beautiful. we act strong but feel so out of control and weak. we constantly do and say the things we are expected to do and say because that is was we have been domesticated to do. we are the puppets society and i know this sounds feminstic but it is not intended that way at all. and if you read MY journal and don't understand then stop now. click onto facebook or myspace or ebay or youtube.
i watch my friends get hurt and it hurts me. how remarkabley cruel and inhumane some people can be. how judgemental and unsympathetic. how irrationally selfish.
and then there are people in line at einsteins who give a friendly word of advice to two cracked out stressing freshman. or people who pull over onto the side of the road when they see two girls who look stranded. the people who are sympathetic if they cannot be empathetic. the people who restore my faith in people.
im ranting. i dont care.
lately i have been so consumed by so much information i find myself unhealthily nostalgic. nostalgic for any simpler time. it's really so short of a time we have to be completely innocent before we're undoubetly jaded.
i have so many expectations of me that i expect your expectations to be higher. i'm terrified of not meeting my own expectations-how am i to meet yours? or maybe you expect nothing of me. that is a bigger mistake.
or maybe i dont know what im talking about. maybe i havent slept in two days and i am just 19 and feeling all things that i am supposed to. but somehow its different. because not every 19 year old girl knows the things i know. have felt the things ive felt. seen the things ive seen. and most painfully lost the things. the people. the parents. the family. the innocence i have so unwillingly lost.