life
Its so hard to imagine lose..feeling it..we've all lost someone dear to use..a common circumstance each with our own emotional ties or lack of. Lose is like a fingerprint. Eachone unique. I was in a hospital with my gfs aunt who she loves so much..i'll never have the feelings that she has watching her aunt die..and my feelings attached to the situation will never be the same as hers. It just hurts me to see someone like that..so scared of dying..feeling in the air the fear and the anxiety of death. Being so unaware, but aware enough to know that its the end..how horrible..and to not make peace with the situation..me saying this as if its the easiest thing to do..i've never been in a situation like that. Last night i called my mom and cried so hard to her while i was driving home...i told her about the feelings i felt..the pain i feel for this person that i've met once or twice..even if i had never met her before, i'd still feel what i felt.. Theres no explaining it.
Now watching my gf have to go through a horrible time in her life...trying to be there for her and do everything that i can..and its not enough..i can't figure out the words to say..i just cry..and let her cry..
theres really no expplaining it...its a horrible situation..givin a timetable of death? then sit back and wait for a call saying she's gone..longing to be there for every breath before her last...can you imagine?.. We take this fuckin shit for granted..breath breathing life.we shit on it...why? the world is so fucked up sometimes..i'm fucked up sometimes..i preach to savor each breath but i suck on a cigarette that takes more and more life out of me...
My gf is so strong...and i wish her stubborn fight with her emotions would go away...Everyone just wants this over with..they want the suffering to end..But this women fights..fights for every breath..its heart breaking..her body is gone..and she's not letting go of something..no one knows what it is...so they sit and wait...there is no peace..and there should be peace...I just wish i could do something more...but all i can do is what i'm asked of...and i'm not even asked..i have to beg to help because of my gf's stubborn ways...
I know this isnt my battle..or my problem...but it is my situation..i'd do anything for sunny..and rainy..and sunny's family cause they've all been so nice to me...I just wish peace upon her aunt...before she breathes her last breath..peace..everyones entitled to that...
Now watching my gf have to go through a horrible time in her life...trying to be there for her and do everything that i can..and its not enough..i can't figure out the words to say..i just cry..and let her cry..
theres really no expplaining it...its a horrible situation..givin a timetable of death? then sit back and wait for a call saying she's gone..longing to be there for every breath before her last...can you imagine?.. We take this fuckin shit for granted..breath breathing life.we shit on it...why? the world is so fucked up sometimes..i'm fucked up sometimes..i preach to savor each breath but i suck on a cigarette that takes more and more life out of me...
My gf is so strong...and i wish her stubborn fight with her emotions would go away...Everyone just wants this over with..they want the suffering to end..But this women fights..fights for every breath..its heart breaking..her body is gone..and she's not letting go of something..no one knows what it is...so they sit and wait...there is no peace..and there should be peace...I just wish i could do something more...but all i can do is what i'm asked of...and i'm not even asked..i have to beg to help because of my gf's stubborn ways...
I know this isnt my battle..or my problem...but it is my situation..i'd do anything for sunny..and rainy..and sunny's family cause they've all been so nice to me...I just wish peace upon her aunt...before she breathes her last breath..peace..everyones entitled to that...