(no subject)
"I suddenly realized that I had never once noticed what [Edward] was wearing - not just now, but ever...He was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater."
Okay, there are two major problems with this sentence.
Problem 1: Is Edward actually a code name for Mike Brady? Is Twilight actually set in a 1970's Miami Police Station? Is Edward looking for a career in the porn industry? Because nobody, and I mean NOBODY, would EVER wear a light beige leather jacket or an ivory turtleneck. Especially not together. And ESPECIALLY not a hot teenage vampire.
Problem 2: Supposedly 'Bella' has never once noticed what Edward is wearing. Um, if random stranger walked past you on the street wearing an ivory turtleneck and beige leather, you would notice. And don't even get me started if someone wore it on a date!
Okay, there are two major problems with this sentence.
Problem 1: Is Edward actually a code name for Mike Brady? Is Twilight actually set in a 1970's Miami Police Station? Is Edward looking for a career in the porn industry? Because nobody, and I mean NOBODY, would EVER wear a light beige leather jacket or an ivory turtleneck. Especially not together. And ESPECIALLY not a hot teenage vampire.
Problem 2: Supposedly 'Bella' has never once noticed what Edward is wearing. Um, if random stranger walked past you on the street wearing an ivory turtleneck and beige leather, you would notice. And don't even get me started if someone wore it on a date!