Welcome!
This journal is set up mostly for Friends Only. That means that if you aren't on my friends list, you can not read most of what I write. I am, however, in the process of changing over to partially public....so stay tuned.
If you ran across my LJ, please stop and say hello! Any questions? Don't hesitate to comment and ask. I also write a blog, comment if you're interested in the link.
"I Am Understood?"
Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you
To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
This version of myself
I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty
Your love regardless of
The mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me
And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need
[Chorus]
You looked into my life and never stopped
And you're thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple, but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
And sometimes I spend my time
Just trying to escape
I work so hard so desperately, in an attempt to create space
Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see your love, then turn my back and beg for you to go
[Chorus]
You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely
And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy I know that its already yours
And through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again
You've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then
[Chorus]
The noise has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
Your voice has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
More often then not I can find a song that identifies with my life at that particular time. I'll change the featured song once it's no longer relevant.
"Over Thinking"
i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to analyze
look in my eyes
cause you're my dream please come true
i was thinking
over thinking
about exactly how i'm not exactly him her
i'll break my heart in two
more times than you could ever do
cause you're my dream please come true
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl boy
i was sinking
lower, sinking
cause i lost the things i held on to
they let me think a thought
a thought that i would know was not
of seeing my dream come true
i was thinking
over thinking
about how far i had let this go
one more guy/girl chiché
i know now you're just in the way
of me and my dream come true
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip
i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl boy
don't touch the positive with the negative end
don't touch the positive with the negative end
cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark
cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark
and while i'm able, i think i'll label
experience with you as a mistake
and while i'm at it, i'll say i've had it
experience with you is a mistake
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip
i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to think about
to figure out
if you're my dream please come true
Oh! Emetophobia!
Dance with me baby, let me hear your voice
Oh if I didn't wanna fall for you I never had a choice
Smear the makeup on my face
run your fingers through my hair
I can not keep my heart from you and I don't even care
Yeah, you turn me inside out
You make me shake and I can't stop
You give new meaning to drop dead gorgeous
And I'm about to drop
You are a song to me
And every note of every chord will set me free
There's no time before you came along
Three cheers for the end of twenty one years
Nothing else is going wrong
Reverberate and complicate my evenings and my days
And I will only love you more
Well I will count the ways
Dance with me and when you see my pulse beneath my skin
It's racing now, I don't know how to hold the burning in
You've taken from me my defenses
My will is under attack
And baby when I wrap my arms around you
I feel the bones in your back
Oh yeah, your voice is like music
It's music to my ears
I'm not dying anymore, I'm alive baby!
I can't find a good song for what's goin' on right now
I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
Now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
I heard you say you can’t change a stubborn heart
I can relate ‘cause that’s how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Your restless heart won’t win ‘cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is
I am made of parts that freeze and ligaments that atrophy
Though they look they'll never see
They don't know something's wrong with me
And just as well, I'll never tell what's underneath my scales
I've worn too thin to honor you, my every effort fails
Bury me with Israel and cover up my tracks
Leave not a trace of what I was, I'm never coming back
And if you're mercy falls upon he whose blood is cold
Unearth me with your hands of love and never break your hold
The world is full of ones like me
Who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed
The truth is only you
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Suck the venom from every bite and vomit every drop
Some of us may bite your hand but some of us will not
And every knee will bow before you, each forked tongue confess
My selfishness will rot in me and I will seek your rest
Still some lizards flee from you, ashamed of all they've been
So Jesus take myself from me, never bring it back again
The world is full of ones like me, who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed, the truth is only you
The world will soon become extinct, the age will pass away
And all will know that you are God, hallowed be your name
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It's true that I'm in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I'll ever need, your love has set me free
The truth is only you.
I walk the world on insect legs beneath an unforgiving sun
Eat the dirt throughout my days On the dirt and dirt I come undone
Messiah born in Bethlehem won't find me lying there
The world's too big for him to see me or hear the things I've said
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
I laughed in the keep of a man with a rose my mandibles are caked in trash
Thought you wouldn't recognize me, in the black of soot and ash
Don't turn deaf into my voice, but one thing I want you to know:
I have always loved you though my life has never said so
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
Hold me to you as I pray, Take every other thing away
My heart is breaking out for you, The scales are out of my eyes
I love you Lord, and I lift my voice
To worship you, Oh, my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear
"I Trust You"
Learning again that I am not my own
Crawling back to where I belong
Caught in between knowing You and trusting me
Come on take a ride out of the in betweens
Now I know I need You
[Chorus:]
When I can't see, I will trust You
And when I get weak, I trust You
And when I just can't let it go
I trust that You are in control
Shelter me so I can find some peace
Grabbing hold of You is letting go of me
It's easy when I remember I possess all that lays beyond my grasp
Your power commands the weight off my back
Now I know I need You
[CHORUS]
Now I know I trust You
Possibilities
Remember the day when we ran away
And we saw the world for the first time?
We drove through the night to those big city lights
And we knew that we could do anything
Anything at all
We don't have to live memories
Time can turn our dreams to reality
Oh, the possibilities
Now is the time to make up our minds
And live like this is the last day
That we have a chance to put it on the line
And run away to the best time of our lives
Because I still believe that we can we do anything
Walk through the doorway to the great unknown
This is the moment
Something Beautiful, Newsboys
I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I wanna new beginning
One without any end
I feel it inside
Calling out to me
CHORUS
It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful
I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It's calling out to me
Chorus
It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful
It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away--Father
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It's the love between you and I
Something beautiful
"Over My Head"
I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
But deep down in my soul, down in my soul
There is one thing I know that I know
I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head
I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the truth
And I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper into You
I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head
You see me for who I am
You did reach out Your hand
You made me understand
That Your love has always covered me
"Put Your Arms Around Me"
That original feeling never went away
That's why I’m standing here today.
Whoa Whoa
So many up and downs
And nothing has changed
That's why you know I'm here to stay.
Whoa Whoa
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more then ever
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up, Oh no, Oh no.
That original feeling never went away
That's why I’m standing here today.
Whoa Whoa
(Ain’t nobody gonna take your place
Only you made me feel this way)
So many up and downs
And nothing has changed
That's why you know I'm here to stay
Whoa Whoa
Ain't nobody gonna replace
Only you make me feel this saved
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more then ever
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no)
[Repeat 2x]
It can’t explain what's the glue that holds us in.
Whoa Whoa
I can’t refrain if I had a chance to do it over again.
Whoa Whoa
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more than ever
[Repeat 2x]
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no)
[Repeat 2x]
[Outro]
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no, no no no)
If you ran across my LJ, please stop and say hello! Any questions? Don't hesitate to comment and ask. I also write a blog, comment if you're interested in the link.
"I Am Understood?"
Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you
To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
This version of myself
I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty
Your love regardless of
The mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me
And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need
[Chorus]
You looked into my life and never stopped
And you're thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple, but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
And sometimes I spend my time
Just trying to escape
I work so hard so desperately, in an attempt to create space
Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see your love, then turn my back and beg for you to go
[Chorus]
You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely
And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy I know that its already yours
And through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again
You've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then
[Chorus]
The noise has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
Your voice has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
More often then not I can find a song that identifies with my life at that particular time. I'll change the featured song once it's no longer relevant.
"Over Thinking"
i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to analyze
look in my eyes
cause you're my dream please come true
i was thinking
over thinking
about exactly how i'm not exactly him her
i'll break my heart in two
more times than you could ever do
cause you're my dream please come true
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl boy
i was sinking
lower, sinking
cause i lost the things i held on to
they let me think a thought
a thought that i would know was not
of seeing my dream come true
i was thinking
over thinking
about how far i had let this go
one more guy/girl chiché
i know now you're just in the way
of me and my dream come true
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip
i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl boy
don't touch the positive with the negative end
don't touch the positive with the negative end
cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark
cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark
and while i'm able, i think i'll label
experience with you as a mistake
and while i'm at it, i'll say i've had it
experience with you is a mistake
cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip
i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to think about
to figure out
if you're my dream please come true
Oh! Emetophobia!
Dance with me baby, let me hear your voice
Oh if I didn't wanna fall for you I never had a choice
Smear the makeup on my face
run your fingers through my hair
I can not keep my heart from you and I don't even care
Yeah, you turn me inside out
You make me shake and I can't stop
You give new meaning to drop dead gorgeous
And I'm about to drop
You are a song to me
And every note of every chord will set me free
There's no time before you came along
Three cheers for the end of twenty one years
Nothing else is going wrong
Reverberate and complicate my evenings and my days
And I will only love you more
Well I will count the ways
Dance with me and when you see my pulse beneath my skin
It's racing now, I don't know how to hold the burning in
You've taken from me my defenses
My will is under attack
And baby when I wrap my arms around you
I feel the bones in your back
Oh yeah, your voice is like music
It's music to my ears
I'm not dying anymore, I'm alive baby!
I can't find a good song for what's goin' on right now
I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
Now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
I heard you say you can’t change a stubborn heart
I can relate ‘cause that’s how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Your restless heart won’t win ‘cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is
I am made of parts that freeze and ligaments that atrophy
Though they look they'll never see
They don't know something's wrong with me
And just as well, I'll never tell what's underneath my scales
I've worn too thin to honor you, my every effort fails
Bury me with Israel and cover up my tracks
Leave not a trace of what I was, I'm never coming back
And if you're mercy falls upon he whose blood is cold
Unearth me with your hands of love and never break your hold
The world is full of ones like me
Who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed
The truth is only you
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Suck the venom from every bite and vomit every drop
Some of us may bite your hand but some of us will not
And every knee will bow before you, each forked tongue confess
My selfishness will rot in me and I will seek your rest
Still some lizards flee from you, ashamed of all they've been
So Jesus take myself from me, never bring it back again
The world is full of ones like me, who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed, the truth is only you
The world will soon become extinct, the age will pass away
And all will know that you are God, hallowed be your name
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It's true that I'm in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I'll ever need, your love has set me free
The truth is only you.
I walk the world on insect legs beneath an unforgiving sun
Eat the dirt throughout my days On the dirt and dirt I come undone
Messiah born in Bethlehem won't find me lying there
The world's too big for him to see me or hear the things I've said
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
I laughed in the keep of a man with a rose my mandibles are caked in trash
Thought you wouldn't recognize me, in the black of soot and ash
Don't turn deaf into my voice, but one thing I want you to know:
I have always loved you though my life has never said so
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
Hold me to you as I pray, Take every other thing away
My heart is breaking out for you, The scales are out of my eyes
I love you Lord, and I lift my voice
To worship you, Oh, my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear
"I Trust You"
Learning again that I am not my own
Crawling back to where I belong
Caught in between knowing You and trusting me
Come on take a ride out of the in betweens
Now I know I need You
[Chorus:]
When I can't see, I will trust You
And when I get weak, I trust You
And when I just can't let it go
I trust that You are in control
Shelter me so I can find some peace
Grabbing hold of You is letting go of me
It's easy when I remember I possess all that lays beyond my grasp
Your power commands the weight off my back
Now I know I need You
[CHORUS]
Now I know I trust You
Possibilities
Remember the day when we ran away
And we saw the world for the first time?
We drove through the night to those big city lights
And we knew that we could do anything
Anything at all
We don't have to live memories
Time can turn our dreams to reality
Oh, the possibilities
Now is the time to make up our minds
And live like this is the last day
That we have a chance to put it on the line
And run away to the best time of our lives
Because I still believe that we can we do anything
Walk through the doorway to the great unknown
This is the moment
Something Beautiful, Newsboys
I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I wanna new beginning
One without any end
I feel it inside
Calling out to me
CHORUS
It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful
I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It's calling out to me
Chorus
It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful
It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away--Father
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It's the love between you and I
Something beautiful
"Over My Head"
I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
But deep down in my soul, down in my soul
There is one thing I know that I know
I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head
I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the truth
And I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper into You
I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head
You see me for who I am
You did reach out Your hand
You made me understand
That Your love has always covered me
"Put Your Arms Around Me"
That original feeling never went away
That's why I’m standing here today.
Whoa Whoa
So many up and downs
And nothing has changed
That's why you know I'm here to stay.
Whoa Whoa
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more then ever
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up, Oh no, Oh no.
That original feeling never went away
That's why I’m standing here today.
Whoa Whoa
(Ain’t nobody gonna take your place
Only you made me feel this way)
So many up and downs
And nothing has changed
That's why you know I'm here to stay
Whoa Whoa
Ain't nobody gonna replace
Only you make me feel this saved
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more then ever
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no)
[Repeat 2x]
It can’t explain what's the glue that holds us in.
Whoa Whoa
I can’t refrain if I had a chance to do it over again.
Whoa Whoa
So put your arms around me
And then stay there forever
Let it always be this way
You and me together
So put you arms around me
And I'll never let go
I know they’re easy words to say
But I mean it more than ever
[Repeat 2x]
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no)
[Repeat 2x]
[Outro]
Yours is the kind of love
makes nothing else feel good enough
And I’m never gonna give you up (Oh no, oh no, no no no)