So much has changed.
I don't even know where to begin. Yet, looking at previous posts on here I can't even remember what the stresses were like that i went through, for i'm pretty darm sure that they couldn't have been worse than now.
I graduated high school, and i went to FGCU as planned. Only now, i can't enjoy anything anymore. I have no team to be on, no club to be in, no happy place anywhere. I don't enjoy school.
And looking at signs and symptoms of depression, i think it's correct to say that i am depressed. And i can't stay here. It's killing me.
My reflection scares the shit out of me nowadays. I look dead.
And i can thank bad timing for everything. The fact that i masked my impending lonliness with love has really fucked me up. I was looking for happiness, a close friend, a lover, but in return i got heartbreak and a mind fuck. There are some things that i can't explain, and some things that i'd rather not. All i can say is that being alone and destitute is what scares me.
And the result of falling in love and switching from everything to nothing has really left me screwed.
I have options, and they are drastic.
But what would you suggest? Therapy? Medication?
No...i will not sink to either. I'm not going to become what i dispise the most.
And if you want to call what i want to do "running away", then consider me already gone.