"As the trials that face me, slowly wearing me thin..."
I'm sorry to complain in this, but I don't talk much to people about my problems and this is my outlet for the time, so don't read it if you don't want to hear complaining.
Life has been incredibly stressful lately. Saturday night I had a talk with my father, he's beginning to understand me and it's making things more bearable, but I will talk about that more after some actual decisions are made, but there is progress. Well school is crazy. I hate it. I swear professors get together and plan everything so students have all the stress at once. Take this week for example. I had 60 problems of chemistry due today (worth 5 points) and I had a 5 page impossible philosophy paper due today. Tomorrow I have a 3-4 page film paper due, which if I could focus, would not be too diffcult, but I lack motivation so...Ya. (I'm procrastinating by writing in here). On Friday I have a chemistry exam. I need to do well on it, considering I failed the first exam, which also was my first time failing anything. Surprisly though, I didn't really care, I think I have become numb to many things in my life. Along with school stress, I have my stupid druggy cousin that in my opinion is tearing apart the family to some degree. Also, my brother is home right now, and he leaves Wednesday for the Middle East. He is going to an island off the coast of Saudi Arabia. Today my mother went into the hospital for some major surgery, but I believe it all went well. She is gonna be off work for the next six weeks. So as I said, things have been crazy in my life. Of course, I still don't sleep well at night. Even last night I couldn't sleep through the night when it was only a 3 hour night and I had taken a sleeping pill. My dreams are crazy as ever, with my stealing a tricycle and having magical powers. I find no relief from my life in sleep, the dreams ruin it. As of right now, I have pretty much decided I am not taking any summer classes, and I plan on getting a second job and working like mad, hopefully like 60 hours a week between the two, saving up more money so I can eventually carry out my plans. As for the fall...I just don't know. I'm very complicated and I'm afraid no one will understand me. I have written alot in my "analysis of myself" or whatever. Basically it just gets everything out that lacks details in here. I believe I have over 20 pages so far...Also I'm starting to feel sick. My stomach has been a little unhappy today and I think I'm getting a cold...Hopefully it won't last long...But I need to work on my paper.
Leah, I need to tell you about my talk with my father, it was pretty decent.
If you have never heard "Echo" by Trapt, download it, its one of my songs of the moment...
Life has been incredibly stressful lately. Saturday night I had a talk with my father, he's beginning to understand me and it's making things more bearable, but I will talk about that more after some actual decisions are made, but there is progress. Well school is crazy. I hate it. I swear professors get together and plan everything so students have all the stress at once. Take this week for example. I had 60 problems of chemistry due today (worth 5 points) and I had a 5 page impossible philosophy paper due today. Tomorrow I have a 3-4 page film paper due, which if I could focus, would not be too diffcult, but I lack motivation so...Ya. (I'm procrastinating by writing in here). On Friday I have a chemistry exam. I need to do well on it, considering I failed the first exam, which also was my first time failing anything. Surprisly though, I didn't really care, I think I have become numb to many things in my life. Along with school stress, I have my stupid druggy cousin that in my opinion is tearing apart the family to some degree. Also, my brother is home right now, and he leaves Wednesday for the Middle East. He is going to an island off the coast of Saudi Arabia. Today my mother went into the hospital for some major surgery, but I believe it all went well. She is gonna be off work for the next six weeks. So as I said, things have been crazy in my life. Of course, I still don't sleep well at night. Even last night I couldn't sleep through the night when it was only a 3 hour night and I had taken a sleeping pill. My dreams are crazy as ever, with my stealing a tricycle and having magical powers. I find no relief from my life in sleep, the dreams ruin it. As of right now, I have pretty much decided I am not taking any summer classes, and I plan on getting a second job and working like mad, hopefully like 60 hours a week between the two, saving up more money so I can eventually carry out my plans. As for the fall...I just don't know. I'm very complicated and I'm afraid no one will understand me. I have written alot in my "analysis of myself" or whatever. Basically it just gets everything out that lacks details in here. I believe I have over 20 pages so far...Also I'm starting to feel sick. My stomach has been a little unhappy today and I think I'm getting a cold...Hopefully it won't last long...But I need to work on my paper.
Leah, I need to tell you about my talk with my father, it was pretty decent.
If you have never heard "Echo" by Trapt, download it, its one of my songs of the moment...