(no subject)
every single fuckign thing i say
no matter how carefully i chose my words
and how neutral i try to make my tone of voice
my mother will always say "don't be rude" "don't talk to me liek that" "why are you getting angry" "don't speak to me like that" "DONT BE RUDE."
Dear mom,
Fuck off.
Seriously consider going through the process of getting over your self.
Stop reading into every single little fucking thing i say. Stop being so hypersensitive. I'm not makign fun of you. I'm not being rude. I'm not undermining your authority. Chill the fuck out.
Or, hey, maybe, better yet: why don't you accept the fact that i'm not always going to be happy all the time and that sometimes that is going to be expressed and you're going to have to take it. and fucking suck it up. because i take it when you're not happy? yeah? and i don't tell you "not to use that tone of voice".
If i don't have anything nice to say, don't say it?
Hey mom, then stop getting angry if i don't even bother responding.
And stop getting angry when i say "im in a bad mood i dont want to talk righ tnow" as a fucking warning so you dont make me blow up at you for no reason. What happens? "well dont be angry at me!" why are you angry? you shouldnt be angry. stop being angry. i dont know what it is thats making you angry but stop taking out on me"
Please shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. okay. shut your mouth. stop talking. you never stop talking. some times im tired okay? i tell you righ toff the bat that im really exhausted. and i sit there in silence and then you start questioning me and pouring out blah blah blha blah and im fuckign tired. and i cant help but sit there and will you to shut up. jsut stop talking.
and maybe im jsut in a bad mood.
WHY IS THAT A HORRIBLE CRIME. WHY IS THAT NOT ALLOWED. WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET UPSET AND DEAL WITH ME BEING UPSET BY MYSELF. JUST LIKE WHY AM I NEVER ALLOWED TO HAVE AN ARGUMENT WITH KEVIN, NEVER ALLOWED TO FINISH ONE BECAUSE YOU JUMP IN TO "calm the situation" WHICH ONLY FUCKS IT UP MORE AND MAKES TENSIONS WORSE. NO THIRD PARTY IS NEEDED. IF YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT LOCK YOURSELF IN A WHITE ROOM.
And then you tell me: stop typing to people about me on msn.
FUCK OFF. HOLY JESUS. DO YOU NOT Understand?!?!?! if angrily typign to someone about how frustrated i am will stop me from throwing somethign at you like i really really really want to THEN why cant you jsut fuck off and not try to control every aspect of my life.
Then waht do you say? "You're not going to throw somethign at me"
OH MY FUCKING GOD> You missed that train, man. you missed the whole fucking point. The boat has left the port.
SO shut up.
And then dont use the "i'm being a nice person" tone with me like nothign happened. because im not going ot pretend with you. i'm going to respond like a... oh wait, what was taht you called me, a bitch. right im going to respond like a FUCKING bitch because i'm not feeling happy yet, i'm still pissed that you're micromanaging my life and telling me "not to use that tone". ANd then you get angry again. BECAUSE I WONT PERTEND WITH YOU. I WONT PLAY THAT FUCKING GAME OF NOT TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE "im over it" AND THEN BRINIGN IT UP WHEN EVRYONES OKAY AGAIN EATING DINNER.
LIke, stephanie, i'm sorry for yelling, but i was right because you did this and blah blah balkh ablh.
If you treat me like i'm being a bitch. then maybe i shouldnt even try to mask my tone of voice when i'm feeling bitchy. eh? maybe that would just save the step where i get pissed off and then start acting like a bitch, it would save us some time so we can get back to forgetting that we're mad at eachother.
how does that sound? how do you like that ms.ithinkiknoweverything.
You also dont get that an example is an example. If i bring somtehing up as an aexample why do you start up that old argument again. thats not what im talking about. im using it as an example. im not starting that argumenta gain.
theres no way to be diplomatic with you becaus eyou're on high alert and get defensive right away so i cant tell you that mayb ei think my friends are more importnat because all of a sudden you're angry at me wheni was just explaning myself i wasnt pblaming you but then you say "well dont blame us for ruinign your life" A
AND I DIDNT FUCKIGN SAY THAT
i was tryign to explain myself calmly, fairly, equivocally, nonadversarially.
Also, as a favour: id liek to ask you to stop saying these things
"you know, i read people well"
"i told you i was right"
"see, i told you, i read people very well"
I woul dlike you to stop using expressions you didnt invent and ruining them in the process. and repeating them. again. again. again. again.
i would like you to stop judging people tha ti know based on the "so called ability" you have of "reading people well" because i think thats bullshit. i think that's projecting your opinions of people unto others. Dont judge a person in a situation until you've been in that situation with that person.
Stop it.
stop telling me things i already know.
stop telling me things i already know afrter ive told you i know them.
Stop getting angry then i tell you i know and you tell me again and then i get frustrated because you're repeating it to me.
Okay? Okay? OKAY? OKAY? OKAY? BECAUSE MAYBE ILL SOTP USING THAT TONE OF VOICE. MAYBE I WONT HAVE A REASON TO BE "EDGY" because you wont always be on my case.
Stop telling me not to be upset or angry like its a switch i turn off.
stop asking questions when i dont want to takl about it. stop trying to always have the last word. Its weak. you want to be strong? strength is being able to walk away from an argument without havin gsaid anythign and still having won. You hate things because you do them to.
You are not a fair person.
You tell people what to do and criticise them but you can't take criticism back.
You make me so upset and angry sometimes. and you make it worse when im upset or angry.
YOu dont know half of what my life is, you dont know what goes through my mind and you say horribly insensitive things.
maybe im hypersensitive to what you say. thats probably true.
you are a horrible mediator. so stop trying to mediate.
you are not neutral.
and i just want you to stop talking to me today. and maybe tomorrow. that would be nice.
when you go away
its quiet
and when you come home you jsut dont stop talking
you just dont stop
you jsut dont stop
You are on repeat
and its so stressful
theres a difference between being lonely and talking to people and repeating yourslef and askgin wuestinos over and over and over again and getting angry.
I dont even know>
im so upset and i dont even know why
why am i so upset about this
why am i unconsollably upset
why can't i just live and breathe without having to knwo your opinion
another favour: stop saying that people with tattoos are freaks
you dont have to like it you don thave to have one you dont have to live with it
SO QUITE FUCKIGN FRANKLY YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER.
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO OPEN MINDED BUT YOU'RE NOT
YOU ARE RACIST
AND THINK THAT YOUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY
WHICH IS JUST AS BAD AS ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU ANGRY
YOU ARE NOT A FEMINIST
YOU ARE NOT A REAL FEMINIST
SOMETIMES YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE
YOU ARE JUDGEMENTAL
AND YOU THINK YOU ARE ABOVE IT ALL.
WOW. i cant imagine the day you'd become disillusioned to all of this.
i cant
stop faking that you're okay with something only to turn around and say you're not okay and complain and bitch.
stop trying to prevent me from making mistakes. stop trying to prevent me from being able to live something and figure something out.
i just want to be left alone.
stop giving me your opinion on what i should do
and then wheni ask for a simple opinion you say "well schose what you want"
or you say "well... no.. well.. i guess its fine"
which means you dont and now i know you dont but now you wont help me find an answer.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I want to scream so loudly and let this all out but i cannnnt
i cant i cant i cant
i feel better now.
no matter how carefully i chose my words
and how neutral i try to make my tone of voice
my mother will always say "don't be rude" "don't talk to me liek that" "why are you getting angry" "don't speak to me like that" "DONT BE RUDE."
Dear mom,
Fuck off.
Seriously consider going through the process of getting over your self.
Stop reading into every single little fucking thing i say. Stop being so hypersensitive. I'm not makign fun of you. I'm not being rude. I'm not undermining your authority. Chill the fuck out.
Or, hey, maybe, better yet: why don't you accept the fact that i'm not always going to be happy all the time and that sometimes that is going to be expressed and you're going to have to take it. and fucking suck it up. because i take it when you're not happy? yeah? and i don't tell you "not to use that tone of voice".
If i don't have anything nice to say, don't say it?
Hey mom, then stop getting angry if i don't even bother responding.
And stop getting angry when i say "im in a bad mood i dont want to talk righ tnow" as a fucking warning so you dont make me blow up at you for no reason. What happens? "well dont be angry at me!" why are you angry? you shouldnt be angry. stop being angry. i dont know what it is thats making you angry but stop taking out on me"
Please shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. okay. shut your mouth. stop talking. you never stop talking. some times im tired okay? i tell you righ toff the bat that im really exhausted. and i sit there in silence and then you start questioning me and pouring out blah blah blha blah and im fuckign tired. and i cant help but sit there and will you to shut up. jsut stop talking.
and maybe im jsut in a bad mood.
WHY IS THAT A HORRIBLE CRIME. WHY IS THAT NOT ALLOWED. WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET UPSET AND DEAL WITH ME BEING UPSET BY MYSELF. JUST LIKE WHY AM I NEVER ALLOWED TO HAVE AN ARGUMENT WITH KEVIN, NEVER ALLOWED TO FINISH ONE BECAUSE YOU JUMP IN TO "calm the situation" WHICH ONLY FUCKS IT UP MORE AND MAKES TENSIONS WORSE. NO THIRD PARTY IS NEEDED. IF YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT LOCK YOURSELF IN A WHITE ROOM.
And then you tell me: stop typing to people about me on msn.
FUCK OFF. HOLY JESUS. DO YOU NOT Understand?!?!?! if angrily typign to someone about how frustrated i am will stop me from throwing somethign at you like i really really really want to THEN why cant you jsut fuck off and not try to control every aspect of my life.
Then waht do you say? "You're not going to throw somethign at me"
OH MY FUCKING GOD> You missed that train, man. you missed the whole fucking point. The boat has left the port.
SO shut up.
And then dont use the "i'm being a nice person" tone with me like nothign happened. because im not going ot pretend with you. i'm going to respond like a... oh wait, what was taht you called me, a bitch. right im going to respond like a FUCKING bitch because i'm not feeling happy yet, i'm still pissed that you're micromanaging my life and telling me "not to use that tone". ANd then you get angry again. BECAUSE I WONT PERTEND WITH YOU. I WONT PLAY THAT FUCKING GAME OF NOT TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE "im over it" AND THEN BRINIGN IT UP WHEN EVRYONES OKAY AGAIN EATING DINNER.
LIke, stephanie, i'm sorry for yelling, but i was right because you did this and blah blah balkh ablh.
If you treat me like i'm being a bitch. then maybe i shouldnt even try to mask my tone of voice when i'm feeling bitchy. eh? maybe that would just save the step where i get pissed off and then start acting like a bitch, it would save us some time so we can get back to forgetting that we're mad at eachother.
how does that sound? how do you like that ms.ithinkiknoweverything.
You also dont get that an example is an example. If i bring somtehing up as an aexample why do you start up that old argument again. thats not what im talking about. im using it as an example. im not starting that argumenta gain.
theres no way to be diplomatic with you becaus eyou're on high alert and get defensive right away so i cant tell you that mayb ei think my friends are more importnat because all of a sudden you're angry at me wheni was just explaning myself i wasnt pblaming you but then you say "well dont blame us for ruinign your life" A
AND I DIDNT FUCKIGN SAY THAT
i was tryign to explain myself calmly, fairly, equivocally, nonadversarially.
Also, as a favour: id liek to ask you to stop saying these things
"you know, i read people well"
"i told you i was right"
"see, i told you, i read people very well"
I woul dlike you to stop using expressions you didnt invent and ruining them in the process. and repeating them. again. again. again. again.
i would like you to stop judging people tha ti know based on the "so called ability" you have of "reading people well" because i think thats bullshit. i think that's projecting your opinions of people unto others. Dont judge a person in a situation until you've been in that situation with that person.
Stop it.
stop telling me things i already know.
stop telling me things i already know afrter ive told you i know them.
Stop getting angry then i tell you i know and you tell me again and then i get frustrated because you're repeating it to me.
Okay? Okay? OKAY? OKAY? OKAY? BECAUSE MAYBE ILL SOTP USING THAT TONE OF VOICE. MAYBE I WONT HAVE A REASON TO BE "EDGY" because you wont always be on my case.
Stop telling me not to be upset or angry like its a switch i turn off.
stop asking questions when i dont want to takl about it. stop trying to always have the last word. Its weak. you want to be strong? strength is being able to walk away from an argument without havin gsaid anythign and still having won. You hate things because you do them to.
You are not a fair person.
You tell people what to do and criticise them but you can't take criticism back.
You make me so upset and angry sometimes. and you make it worse when im upset or angry.
YOu dont know half of what my life is, you dont know what goes through my mind and you say horribly insensitive things.
maybe im hypersensitive to what you say. thats probably true.
you are a horrible mediator. so stop trying to mediate.
you are not neutral.
and i just want you to stop talking to me today. and maybe tomorrow. that would be nice.
when you go away
its quiet
and when you come home you jsut dont stop talking
you just dont stop
you jsut dont stop
You are on repeat
and its so stressful
theres a difference between being lonely and talking to people and repeating yourslef and askgin wuestinos over and over and over again and getting angry.
I dont even know>
im so upset and i dont even know why
why am i so upset about this
why am i unconsollably upset
why can't i just live and breathe without having to knwo your opinion
another favour: stop saying that people with tattoos are freaks
you dont have to like it you don thave to have one you dont have to live with it
SO QUITE FUCKIGN FRANKLY YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER.
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO OPEN MINDED BUT YOU'RE NOT
YOU ARE RACIST
AND THINK THAT YOUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY
WHICH IS JUST AS BAD AS ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU ANGRY
YOU ARE NOT A FEMINIST
YOU ARE NOT A REAL FEMINIST
SOMETIMES YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE
YOU ARE JUDGEMENTAL
AND YOU THINK YOU ARE ABOVE IT ALL.
WOW. i cant imagine the day you'd become disillusioned to all of this.
i cant
stop faking that you're okay with something only to turn around and say you're not okay and complain and bitch.
stop trying to prevent me from making mistakes. stop trying to prevent me from being able to live something and figure something out.
i just want to be left alone.
stop giving me your opinion on what i should do
and then wheni ask for a simple opinion you say "well schose what you want"
or you say "well... no.. well.. i guess its fine"
which means you dont and now i know you dont but now you wont help me find an answer.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I want to scream so loudly and let this all out but i cannnnt
i cant i cant i cant
i feel better now.