"Important News"
Well, I suppose I have to tell everyone eventually, anyway, so I'll let you all know now. About a week or so ago, Leigh and I broke up. And it's probably for good, but who knows? Never say never, right?
Anyway, it was a mutual thing and neither of us are upset about it, really. Actually, it was pretty much the most affable break-up ever (or at least since Cassie Hamel and I both got cold feet and broke up in the third grade). It was so strange. The closest thing I can compare it to is Greg Kinnear and Meg Ryan's break up in You've Got Mail where one is like "I don't love you anymore," and then the other smiles and shouts back, "Really? I don't love you anymore, either!" and then they hug and walk away or whatever. But that's sort of what it was like. We both want to be friends and still hang out when she gets back in town (and maybe even still hit Vegas together), but yeah, that's pretty much where it stands. In fact, since she's at home in Cali for the summer, the only major difference so far has been that when we say good night to each other now, we don't seem to add "I love you" to it at the end. I think that's kind of funny. Though it's probably pretty sad, too.
And even though I think this is the right choice (at least so far), I'd say there's probably a 92% chance that I won't find anyone better for me than Leigh. So that's pretty scary. What's annoying is that everything in the relationship was good -- really good -- but it still didn't feel like the right relationship. So I'm clinging to my hope that I'll happen upon someone from that 8% that actually likes me. I have felt a little sad at times in this first week plus. I mean, I'm not going to go crawling back and plead my case to her anytime soon, but it was pretty sad and scary to realize a few nights ago that she's not there in the same capacity anymore. So now I feel like a dog who's just been let off his leash and has no idea what to do. She was the one dependable thing in my life that I could really be proud of. I've screwed up a lot of things, but I always had that to fall back onto, you know? "Sure, I will be going to school till I'm 30 and I hate my boss, but at least my love life is right on track. Check out that girlfriend of mine! How'd I ever swing that?" Now I can't use that so much anymore.
So I'm sort of equally disappointed and proud of myself right now. Proud that I actually stuck to my ideals and let go of something that while good -- very good, even -- wasn't quite right. And disappointed that it turned out that it wasn't quite what I was looking for, afterall. Oh, and it's nice to have a real long-term relationship (nearly three years) under my belt. One that was reciprocal too! What a step up for me! Woo!
So, yeah, that's the update. I hope Rachel doesn't kill me for what I willingly admit is 92% likely to be the biggest mistake of my life. Only my crazy love ideals would make it allowable to give up such a great girl.
Anyway, it was a mutual thing and neither of us are upset about it, really. Actually, it was pretty much the most affable break-up ever (or at least since Cassie Hamel and I both got cold feet and broke up in the third grade). It was so strange. The closest thing I can compare it to is Greg Kinnear and Meg Ryan's break up in You've Got Mail where one is like "I don't love you anymore," and then the other smiles and shouts back, "Really? I don't love you anymore, either!" and then they hug and walk away or whatever. But that's sort of what it was like. We both want to be friends and still hang out when she gets back in town (and maybe even still hit Vegas together), but yeah, that's pretty much where it stands. In fact, since she's at home in Cali for the summer, the only major difference so far has been that when we say good night to each other now, we don't seem to add "I love you" to it at the end. I think that's kind of funny. Though it's probably pretty sad, too.
And even though I think this is the right choice (at least so far), I'd say there's probably a 92% chance that I won't find anyone better for me than Leigh. So that's pretty scary. What's annoying is that everything in the relationship was good -- really good -- but it still didn't feel like the right relationship. So I'm clinging to my hope that I'll happen upon someone from that 8% that actually likes me. I have felt a little sad at times in this first week plus. I mean, I'm not going to go crawling back and plead my case to her anytime soon, but it was pretty sad and scary to realize a few nights ago that she's not there in the same capacity anymore. So now I feel like a dog who's just been let off his leash and has no idea what to do. She was the one dependable thing in my life that I could really be proud of. I've screwed up a lot of things, but I always had that to fall back onto, you know? "Sure, I will be going to school till I'm 30 and I hate my boss, but at least my love life is right on track. Check out that girlfriend of mine! How'd I ever swing that?" Now I can't use that so much anymore.
So I'm sort of equally disappointed and proud of myself right now. Proud that I actually stuck to my ideals and let go of something that while good -- very good, even -- wasn't quite right. And disappointed that it turned out that it wasn't quite what I was looking for, afterall. Oh, and it's nice to have a real long-term relationship (nearly three years) under my belt. One that was reciprocal too! What a step up for me! Woo!
So, yeah, that's the update. I hope Rachel doesn't kill me for what I willingly admit is 92% likely to be the biggest mistake of my life. Only my crazy love ideals would make it allowable to give up such a great girl.