New Year's Resolutions
(In some particular order.)
In 2007, I will:
- Work out regularly. Until the point that I'm under 10% body fat (according to my new scale I'm at about 18-19% right now) and/or I'm willing to change my MySpace body type from "Slim/Slender" to "Athletic."
- Speak more slowly. I seem to talk too fast these days. I want to speak in a way that seems more deliberate and more sincere, so that I command respect and attention when I speak -- even if it turns out that I'm just spewing the same unoriginal bullshit I do now.
('Cause right now, when I have what I consider a pertinent thought, I get all excited -- I'm like Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible groundbreaking thought. Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty. Then I take my naughty pet and I go [makes ripping noises as I tear apart a roll] Ahhhh! I killed it. I killed my chance for dignified brilliance. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right?)
- Find a passion and pursue it, uh... passionately. Consider learning to play a musical instrument such as the piano. If attaining passion proves impossible, continue to syphon the thrill other people get from pursuing their passions like the emotional parasite I am.
- Find something/someone that can and is willing to challenge me on a regular basis in that way I like. If a person, trick them into having relations.
- Buy a Jaguar. Both the animal and car shall be considered acceptable, though the car is admittedly more likely.
In 2007, I will:
- Work out regularly. Until the point that I'm under 10% body fat (according to my new scale I'm at about 18-19% right now) and/or I'm willing to change my MySpace body type from "Slim/Slender" to "Athletic."
- Speak more slowly. I seem to talk too fast these days. I want to speak in a way that seems more deliberate and more sincere, so that I command respect and attention when I speak -- even if it turns out that I'm just spewing the same unoriginal bullshit I do now.
('Cause right now, when I have what I consider a pertinent thought, I get all excited -- I'm like Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible groundbreaking thought. Oh, my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty. Then I take my naughty pet and I go [makes ripping noises as I tear apart a roll] Ahhhh! I killed it. I killed my chance for dignified brilliance. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right?)
- Find a passion and pursue it, uh... passionately. Consider learning to play a musical instrument such as the piano. If attaining passion proves impossible, continue to syphon the thrill other people get from pursuing their passions like the emotional parasite I am.
- Find something/someone that can and is willing to challenge me on a regular basis in that way I like. If a person, trick them into having relations.
- Buy a Jaguar. Both the animal and car shall be considered acceptable, though the car is admittedly more likely.