"Wait -- you know I'm in love with you, right?" "No. No, I didn't know that." "Oh... well, I am."
Right, I remember how this goes. It's the same disinterest I had then, but a pursuit is fun in itself. The arbitrary goals set merely to see if they can be reached. The forced interest. It's not that they're written off before they're given their chance, it's that their chance for success is so low to begin with. I'm still open to all possibilities, but the standards are high. Higher than ever. I know exactly what it is I wish to pursue. Just like always. Loyalty to the end. Even in silence.
Is it foolish to want to make mistakes? To watch yourself do something only because you really don't want to do it? Is that even possible? Reason or excuse? You tell me. The number of acceptable occasions for such indiscretions seems to be increasing. The results are about the same as before. The only difference from then to now is that I'm nicer. Maybe I don't have the heart to be mean anymore. Or the guts. Maybe I've matured. Maybe I'm just tired.
What good is waking up in someone's bed if you're thinking of another? But... at least I'm nicer.
Is it foolish to want to make mistakes? To watch yourself do something only because you really don't want to do it? Is that even possible? Reason or excuse? You tell me. The number of acceptable occasions for such indiscretions seems to be increasing. The results are about the same as before. The only difference from then to now is that I'm nicer. Maybe I don't have the heart to be mean anymore. Or the guts. Maybe I've matured. Maybe I'm just tired.
What good is waking up in someone's bed if you're thinking of another? But... at least I'm nicer.