Swancon 39 2014 Conjuration
Over the Easter break I made my annual pilgrimage to Swancon, the annual WA speculative fiction convention. I stayed at the con hotel and was able able to attend the entire event (off and on) from opening to closing ceremony. I only had my phone with me so made short posts to Facebook rather than longer con reports here. "Proper" con reports are still a bit beyond me, but I'll reproduce the FB posts here and annotate as seems necessary. Dates and time for particular entries may be a bit fuzzy, but I'm hopeful that there are unlikely to be any legal implications from sloppy record-keeping. Lawyers, fussy things.
In General
I was really pleased with how much I managed to get out of this year's Swancon, and felt I'd learned a lot from previous years' not-so-successful cons. I scraped together the maximum spoons possible by attending to my own comfort with great discipline, odd though that may sound. I made sure I kept my feet up (and shifting) on a second chair at all but the one panel (those chairs are murder). I used the cane all the time no matter what so never got caught out needing it (and subsequently lurching, straining, and generally burning x3 spoons per minute). I used the lift the whole time, knowing that "one little flight of stairs" has costs way beyond the obvious. I wore my ugg boots almost all the time, figuring that the impact of my feet looking clumsy would be far less than the positive effect of warm squishy toes.
In the convention spaces the hotel aircon was quite reasonable so I neither froze nor cooked, and in my room I was able to use the window to control the temperature and never had the aircon on at all. So nice not be chilled to the bone at random. I catered thoroughly so never had to scout outside for food - a walk of a couple of hundred metres might have mean one less panel or conversation, and I wasn't prepared to make that trade.
One tiny thing had a really big impact over the course of the 5 days - the light switches in my room were on my side of the bed. I sleep (when I sleep) in a complicated nest of pillows, covers, and things (a shark, some fox fur, the usual), and when I need to switch lights on or off it's much easier to stretch out one arm rather than disentangle one's entire self from a nest and scoot over a few feet. That's enough to defer sleep and I really can't afford that. Speaking of the shark and the fox fur - I brought those along for comfort (mental and physical) and cat substitutes. The hotel bedding is much harder than I'm used to and I remembered that, so it was good to have some softness on hand. The water pressure in the shower was excellent too, so I had longer showers than usual.
Nothing broke! No shelves collapsed, the fridge worked so no food had to be discarded and replaced like last year, my keycard worked like a charm every time, and nothing disturbing happened in the bathroom. All hail to the lift gods who kept the lifts working all weekend.
My goal of maximising human contact was met! No time for particularly intensive conversations, but there were many small chats, and I valued even the briefest of hallway greetings. Seriously, I hardly ever see people at all, so just seeing you made me happy. Didn't catch up with everyone I would have liked to, but there's too many of you! What an awesome problem to have :-)
Programme
My enjoyment of a con is usually heavily dependent on the quality of the programme, but given that I anticipated trouble with the seating this year I didn't place as much weight on it as usual. To my pleasant surprise the programme succeeded completely in that there were more things I wanted to attend than could, but having worked on my brain before hand I didn't let myself get too disappointed when I inevitably had to skip things. The LiveCon app was great and really took the pressure off juggling the schedule, and I particularly liked the opportunity to schedule things several days in advance and enjoy the anticipation.
I was a little disappointed in the level of preparedness (or indeed attendance) of many panellists. This varies from year to year, but there seemed to be disproportionate numbers of panels without much of a clue, so there was more than the usual amount of off-topic drifting and solo panic. There was only one person whose speaking style was literally painful to listen to (no I'm not telling) (pro tip: if you're using the word "obviously" every second word and NEVER ACTUALLY COMPLETE A SINGLE DAMNED SENTENCE OH MY GOD I WANT TO KILL YOU, you're doing it wrong). Only one other presenter kind of hurt to watch, but ze was very young and clearly terrified and needs encouragement. You could feel the entire audience straining to understand zer and willing zer on, so it was at least a positive if strained atmosphere.
Guests
There were guests?
I'm not familiar with the work of any of the pro guests so had made no plans to see their events in particular, and of the panels I did want to see that co-incidentally had guests on them, it just so happens that I missed them all. I get the impression that the guests were nice and performed to spec.
Art Show
I do love the Swancon Art Show, and it's provided me with many important experiences over the last decade or so in particular. In my one and likely only concom position in 2009 I got to run the thing, discovering a deep well of anxiety-ridden despotic fascism that would probably appeal to the current government. Well, it was efficient at least. But most importantly I've put many bits of art in the show over the years, sold a few, and won a few prizes. I couldn't afford the energy to enter this year (you'd be surprised how many little steps go into getting something up on the wall and home again) and for a variety of reasons a lot of other regulars didn't enter either. I don't recall seeing much in the way of promotion for new folks, so as a result the show this year was very small and (with a couple of exceptions) not great, artistically speaking. It was also squeezed into a tiny space which didn't really work for me, and I feared mightily for the glassware in the middle. Not sure if there was room for a power chair to make it around.
I had hoped to help out by babysitting but never came close to being conscious at the right time. I really don't enjoy being this useless.
Dealers
Didn't buy any books this year, but I've been buying more online than usual and have more-or-less kept up with local publishers that way. Might have bought a Doctor Who K-9 if there had been a suitable one, but I'm not in desperate collection mode. I did spontaneously buy a Land of the Giants rubbish bin for Husband, because who doesn't love pictures of cats menacing tiny people? Similarly t-shirts, jewellery and plushie things aren't really on the current shopping list, but it does make for a great atmosphere to have the dealers around, and I've heard that the room was very well supported this year (and critically allowed dealers to leave stock overnight). I think I missed a lot of them since I spent most of Saturday flat on my back.
Masquerade
I used to spend the better part of a year working on my masquerade costumes. Now, not so much. This year I punned mildly, then added a bit of recent fan history - I wore a red dress, my wedding veil, and carried a decorated dagger. I was The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones! But wait! I hadn't even seen or read Game of Thrones (and a quick bit of googling revealed that there was no actual red dress involved). I was a fraud! A Fake Geek Girl!
In my past the masquerade has been a great source of terror mixed with boredom, with more than a little swearing during the preparation phase. If I'd made an effort with the costume that year and/or showed a bit of flesh I'd be paralysed with fear at the idea of leaving my hotel room. I hated getting my photo taken (still do), but for some years I managed to forget that the masquerade is always full of cameras and would then get startled out of my wits on arrival. (I am an idiot, if you hadn't noticed.) After all that, and maybe a chat to the judges and a lap of the room looking at everyone else, there wasn't much to do and it was all a bit of a let down ("So, here we are. Yup."). I've never been very good at parties and loud noises.
This year--my own pitiful attempts aside (for judging purposes I was recorded as "Fake Red Wedding" *headdesk*)--I was very impressed with the average standard of costuming, and the winning costume of Bast was beyond stunning. Apart from that there wasn't much in the way of big spectacular things, but more people seemed to have gone to some sort of effort so it made for a happy event overall. Sure, the rules weren't followed, but it didn't affect the main prize and that's the important thing. And glowsticks. There must be glowsticks. Sadly it's the first year I haven't danced, even a little bit :-(
There's more, but I'm done. The rest of this post is just a transcript of my FB status entries for the con. For reactions and conversations you'll have to go Over There.
Facebook Thursday
About to head out to Swancon! See you on the other side :-)
Now ensconced in Swancon hotel room with microwave still pending but I'm hopeful. Will rest up before opening ceremony at 5. This year I hope to see a lot more of people and will hopefully find a comfy spot in public in which to lurk and chat. Not the greatest hotel for that, but I'm determined to try.
I'm limited to smartphone this long weekend. It's amazing how extra annoying FB is in this format. Apologies in advance if I Like something wildly inappropriate or defriend you without reason or warning - it's probably not deliberate. Probably.
Achievements unlocked - opening ceremony, human contact, microwave, dinner. Parse at will.
The Opening Ceremony was a bit thinly populated this year because of the early time, but Convenor Chris made it a cheerful business.
I've just learned that the alien things in Space Invaders were supposed to be actual aliens, and not their spaceships as I'd always assumed. See, #swancon is educational *and* fun.
Facebook Friday
I have braved the unknown procedure of the hotel's included breakfast. Ridiculous that bravery was required, but there you go. Cheated a bit by going early to avoid awkward queueing scenarios at the toaster. Got about as much sleep as usual last night so at least I'm starting the day at baseline. Lots of interesting panels today. Hopefully will get to the art ones at least.
Yay! Got to attend a really interesting discussion on the nature of Art. Sadly will have to sacrifice Believable Magic Systems to the hungry spoon gods, but did manage some quality human contact as planned. A really good morning. Fingers crossed I'll be up for Brain-Eating Amoeba after lunch. #swancon
Yay! Brain Eating Ameoba was a go! Except the presenter didn't turn up. Oops. Fortunately my favourite purveyors of gore drhoz and Malakhic Irony were available and willing to wing an hour of parasitic and pathological fun. Note to self - don't snort anything. Next up, Constructed Languages, with a big crowd having fun attempting to pronounce novel sounds without drenching the person in front with spit. Naturally picked up some handy phrases in Klingon.
(Ed: A Klingon hello translates to "What do you want?" and never tell someone their mother has a smooth forehead.)
And finally really enjoyed Nancy Lorenz do Comic Art Corrections, although it always hurts to see tortured anatomy. (I split this post into two because I was terrified of losing the whole thing and couldn't face picking it out again one letter at a time. I miss my keyboard.)
And now, codeine and bed rest. Actually travelling quite well at this point :-)
Had a great evening to top off a magnificent day at #Swancon! A tin of fish (yes I am a cat), a good nap (see above), and a fun TV failures panel with Boris the shark. And to top it off, an hour plus of enjoying pictures and vid of beautiful male bodies in a crowded room of appreciative fans working the applause-o-meter. Very proud that the top sexy vote went to Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark/Iron Man doing clever things with his brain and just co-incidentally looking rather scrummy. I think Hugh Jackman came in second. Not sure, they had to chase us out of the room. And now, a cigarette.
Crashing (but never so happily) in 3... 2... 1...
Facebook Saturday
I am, in a manner of speaking, up. Today's pace might be a touch more gentle.#swancon
Had to sacrifice the morning to the oh-my-god-I'm-exhausted gods, but did manage on panel on drug resistance in things that can kill you. Did a zombie lap of the dealers room and came away with an unexpected prezzie for Husband that definitely won't fit in my suitcase. Currently waiting for poor besieged Housekeeping to emerge from my room so I can crash once more. #swancon
Apparently the oh-my-god-I'm-exhausted gods have also demanded the entire afternoon as sacrifice and kept me away from many interesting panels. Will do whatever it takes to get some masquerade time tonight. #swancon zzzzzzz
Masquerade prep is a messy and sweaty business.
Why do I do this to myself? I won't even look particularly different. *headdesk*
Aaaahhh it's so good to let my hair down and put my feet up.
In case you missed the explanation, I was masquerading as a genuine fake geek girl dressed as The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones, but I haven't actually read it or seen the tv show - it just sounded cool.
Facebook Sunday
This morning at #swancon I managed the history of WA fandom (part 1of 20), sexuality, politics, and religion. Also very happy to meatspace with Martin Livings.
I'd like to be at another panel now but I really have to take a break. Really pleased to have managed three so far today. Haven't yet made it into the gaming room but I have had the rules of one game explained to me which almost qualifies. It was something with bunnies.
Attended my first panel ( perhaps ironically on the glorification of misery) where I didn't/couldn't put my feet up on a second chair. This told me that I really really need to put my feet up! So glad I've been able to do this for all previous panels - it's really extended my endurance and kept the pain at manageable levels. Chairs are stupid.
Dang, really wanted to go to the Cards Against Humanity game but got hit by a wave of dizziness when I sat up to go. I guess that's my night over!
Dear body, you've gone above and beyond the last couple of days and I'm really grateful. Let's not spoil it by turning my last night at Swancon into a howling vortex of immense pain. I *am* going to that closing ceremony tomorrow. Kthxbai
I was so damned sure I was going to get a good night's sleep tonight. 4am and my drug diary would appear to disagree with that assessment. This bedding feels like concrete.
Facebook Monday
Home from Swancon, much commentary to follow. *hugs proper keyboard*
(Ed: Hmm, thought there'd be more, but I did make it right through to the end of the closing ceremony for the first time in years.)
Facebook Tuesday
Still in that Never Never Land of immediate post #Swancon, but soon I will have to face the multitude of tasks deferred to After Swancon.
Things I've said most today: "It's ok Princess, Mummy's home."