The House on B____ Ave
Many weeks ago a "FOR LEASE" sign appeared on a house not far from mine here at Sector 7. That's unusual in the current economic climate, we thought. The rental market is bursting at the seams - demand is high, and properties get usually snapped up by desperate renters at the first hint of opportunity. Why go to the extra expense and trouble of putting up a sign?
Time passed and the mystery deepened. The sign remained, and the house was clearly unoccupied. Unoccupied, that is, by the usual run of people we get around here. The house seemed normal from the outside, if tending towards the ugly end of the local brown-brick-box-built-in-the-'70s vibe. The front yard is mostly paved. Mostly.
What garden areas exist are easily distinguishable from the paved areas, but are by no means either terrifyingly elaborate nor depressingly clogged with dead weeds. It's not a garden to frighten away punters either keen or not keen on optional gardening. Maybe the lease included unrealistic demands to turn this patch of WA sand, grass and weeds into a lush paradise.
If the neighbours are particularly offensive they're not offensive enough to make me distinguish them from the general racket of small children and multiple vehicles within a block of here, and anyway, how often do offensive neighbours conveniently reveal themselves when you're checking out a property? I reckon there's a rule book for anarchic neighbours that insists on best behaviour during neighbourly inspections, just to maintain the surprise factor until the ink has dried on the contracts.
I'm assuming the rent they're asking is unreasonably high, which would be something of an achievement. Sadly it only occurred to me just now to look at real estate sites and couldn't find the property in question. Some particularly strong winds a week or two ago blew the sign over, and over it stayed for the better part of a week, so perhaps the real estate agents in question weren't putting their best slimy feet forward for this case.
Of course, I haven't seen the inside of the property, so maybe the the walls are bleeding, or all the lights flicker and there's only one toilet and it's in the middle of the lounge room. Even then I'd have thought Perth renters would be up for such conditions. Perhaps the owners had unreasonable demands vis-a-vis pets. Nothing so simple as a No Pets Allowed rule, but maybe a Must Have Twenty Uncaged Male Ferrets At All Times rule, in the hope of declaring the property an insurance write-off within the first month. Have you ever smelled a male ferret? I have, and trust me, a bulldozer would be the only option. It's kind of nice, really, to offer a ferret-based insurance scam rather than simple arson which can go a bit awry. So I hear. I'm liking these people more and more, but I can see how this might limit their pool of tenants.