Shrinkage
Went for my 6-monthly psychiatrist visit with Dr T today. After my last visit with him in February we went on to collect a very tiny Buffy to take home. Today had no such reward and left me feeling very depressed.
Most of today's appointment was spent with me telling him about my recent forays into fringe medicine vis-a-vis the Pyroluria diagnosis and associated testing and supplement trials. The rest was spent on the usual review of my general mental health.
I reported that I was in psychologically good shape, although periods of clinical depression were becoming more frequent. He remains happy with my toolbox of coping strategies and can suggest no changes to my medication. Fresh prescriptions were issued.
He's less than impressed with the testing, information, and treatments I've been given via Dr NF, and expressed concern that I was being ripped off. He waded through the majority of my recent findings and pretty much demolished them all. I am now delicately poised between competing conspiracy theories regarding the alleged treatment of this alleged condition.
On one hand: There's no research or formal industry/academic support for this condition because BigPharma have no financial stake in producing the treatments which are mostly widely available compounds. No cash, no research, no respect.
On the other hand: Evil witchdoctors are taking advantage of sick and desperate people (that would be me) to fleece them of all available cash.
*sigh*
I can't deny I've been parted from significant amounts of money lately.
On request he did give me some information and a script for Melatonin as something further to try for sleep quality, but stated outright that it almost certainly wouldn't help me and I would be wasting even more money. He did give me the name of a reputable and inexpensive US supplement supplier so he wasn't blocking or forbidding me from anything, he just honestly didn't think anything I was trying would help.
He called bullshit (in not so many words) on the hair mineral analysis, except maybe for the lead levels, and said chelation therapy wouldn't hurt there. That was about the only spark of encouragement.
Dr T is genuinely concerned about me, but he can't really help me any further. He's done a lot of good in getting me thus far, but in terms of his speciality, I'm fixed - I'm as trained and as medicated as he can make me via psychiatric medicine. He's still necessary to me for maintenance, and I would happily go back to him if I felt especially miserable so I have no plans to find a new shrink. It's been 19 years after all.
I don't have much hope at the best of times (except when I have way to much of it for short periods), so I felt badly cut down.
On my way out he insisted I show some Pretty Rock postcards to his PA, but not to say what they were. He offered a clue: "Stephanie was stoned when she took these pictures." The PA seemed to accept this at face value and I protested that I was not a recreational drug user. There's almost no purple in my hair, after all. (Another source of pain.)
So, onwards with the trials I'm currently on. If some of it helps, good, if it doesn't, so be it, and I'll have to find someone else to talk to, a new specialist. Again.
Fighting sucks.