Pumpkin - Sunday
Picking up on Pumpkin's progress after the most recent post here.
On Friday night we decided that putting Pumpkin to sleep was definitely on the table, as he would require a rapid and radical improvement to regain an acceptable quality of life. Yes, while something like acupuncture may produce results eventually, I'm not willing to put him through weeks or months of further discomfort on just the chance of improvement. It's gone too far for that.
On Saturday morning Matthew said his final goodbyes and went to work. I waited for the vet to open to see if Dr Laura was available for this critical consultation. Actually I couldn't wait - I called half an hour before the advertised opening time on the chance that someone would be there already. I learned that Dr Laura wouldn't be on duty again until Monday, and we already had an appointment for 4:45pm that day. I decided it would be best to wait for Dr Laura as she knows both Pumpkin and I very well indeed. If things became really critical then Dr M would have to do (and he's a fine vet who normally I'd be happy to see), but in that case there wouldn't be any discussion involved.
So yesterday (Saturday) was spent keeping Pumpkin company and on occasions carrying him to food, water, and trays to save him the stagger. He can move a few feet at a time, but no more than that, so we wanted to save him some of the slog. I fed him little treats which he enjoyed. Again he drank a lot, but it's possible that this may have been to compensate for missing out on smaller drinks during the day.
He shows every sign of enjoying human company and is still his loving smoochy self - he quite literally falls over himself to display this - but the strain is really beginning to show. His third eyelid is partially closed (only a little, but I find it significant), and his eyelids are generally droopy, as are his whiskers. His whole face is usually so open and bright. When he lies down he doesn't always go to sleep, but lies there with eyes partly open. He's restless and tries to shift position, but the weakness in his back half makes precision tuning of sleeping posture very difficult. He no longer bothers to arrange his tail--no purposeful flick to wrap it around himself any more--so it lies oddly askew.
The pain relief medication definitely helps, but he's vomited already which limits how much I can give him. On Monday if the vet suggests an alternative such as a shot of steroids I'd be willing to try that, but it hasn't come up before as an option. I'm still prepared to listen to ideas, but I fear I've already heard them all. This has been some time coming, even though the recent decline has been so rapid.
So it seems likely that on Monday afternoon he will be put to sleep. I'm sick of death and loss, but at least I've learned a few useful lessons along the way. Hope is all very well, but love will not keep your loved one alive. Being cute, innocent, fluffy, extremely loving, or too young is no defence against the reaper. The wrong people (and animals) die all the time. Life is not remotely fair; death even less so.
In the meantime we are holding him close and trying to anticipate his needs. He knows he's loved, and he's never stopped loving us (and the coffee table, the fridge, the skirting boards, the ceiling, every oxygen molecule etc etc). He's a good cat, and has been for the 13 1/2 years it's been a privilege to have him in my life.
On Friday night we decided that putting Pumpkin to sleep was definitely on the table, as he would require a rapid and radical improvement to regain an acceptable quality of life. Yes, while something like acupuncture may produce results eventually, I'm not willing to put him through weeks or months of further discomfort on just the chance of improvement. It's gone too far for that.
On Saturday morning Matthew said his final goodbyes and went to work. I waited for the vet to open to see if Dr Laura was available for this critical consultation. Actually I couldn't wait - I called half an hour before the advertised opening time on the chance that someone would be there already. I learned that Dr Laura wouldn't be on duty again until Monday, and we already had an appointment for 4:45pm that day. I decided it would be best to wait for Dr Laura as she knows both Pumpkin and I very well indeed. If things became really critical then Dr M would have to do (and he's a fine vet who normally I'd be happy to see), but in that case there wouldn't be any discussion involved.
So yesterday (Saturday) was spent keeping Pumpkin company and on occasions carrying him to food, water, and trays to save him the stagger. He can move a few feet at a time, but no more than that, so we wanted to save him some of the slog. I fed him little treats which he enjoyed. Again he drank a lot, but it's possible that this may have been to compensate for missing out on smaller drinks during the day.
He shows every sign of enjoying human company and is still his loving smoochy self - he quite literally falls over himself to display this - but the strain is really beginning to show. His third eyelid is partially closed (only a little, but I find it significant), and his eyelids are generally droopy, as are his whiskers. His whole face is usually so open and bright. When he lies down he doesn't always go to sleep, but lies there with eyes partly open. He's restless and tries to shift position, but the weakness in his back half makes precision tuning of sleeping posture very difficult. He no longer bothers to arrange his tail--no purposeful flick to wrap it around himself any more--so it lies oddly askew.
The pain relief medication definitely helps, but he's vomited already which limits how much I can give him. On Monday if the vet suggests an alternative such as a shot of steroids I'd be willing to try that, but it hasn't come up before as an option. I'm still prepared to listen to ideas, but I fear I've already heard them all. This has been some time coming, even though the recent decline has been so rapid.
So it seems likely that on Monday afternoon he will be put to sleep. I'm sick of death and loss, but at least I've learned a few useful lessons along the way. Hope is all very well, but love will not keep your loved one alive. Being cute, innocent, fluffy, extremely loving, or too young is no defence against the reaper. The wrong people (and animals) die all the time. Life is not remotely fair; death even less so.
In the meantime we are holding him close and trying to anticipate his needs. He knows he's loved, and he's never stopped loving us (and the coffee table, the fridge, the skirting boards, the ceiling, every oxygen molecule etc etc). He's a good cat, and has been for the 13 1/2 years it's been a privilege to have him in my life.