The memory of professionalism
This evening I was wildly overjoyed that I managed to go to an Australian Computer Society (ACS) branch meeting. It's been a very long time since I've managed it, and have missed some really great topics/lectures. But tonight's "The Art and Science of Diagramming: Communicating Effectively Using Diagrams" was a subject very close to my heart, so I poured on the painkillers and caffeine to get myself there.
I have mixed feelings about the evening; while the validation factor was great, I did feel depressed later because I was reminded of how much of myself is going to waste with this bloody illness/lifestyle thing I have.
First the validation. I had no argument with anything the international expert said and it was positively glorious to watch someone else wax lyrically about communication, cognitive load, gestalt theory, clustering, and alignment. I got to ask some intelligent questions about things that I liked to do that he hadn't time to cover, and I got a big smile and two thumbs up in approval. I've always been confident in my skill in this area, but clearly I do actually know what I'm doing.
Or rather, I *knew* what I *was* doing. Ah tenses, how cruel.
I was rather pleased I managed to avoid fangirling over the speaker and getting myself into an incoherent caffeine-fuelled attempt to verbally discuss the many ways in which his work resonated, and to ask dreamy questions about data and business process modelling. Rather I retreated from the networking chat session afterwards and drove myself home. The function centre chair had done me some damage, and being the driver I'd had to go light on the pain relief.
Sadly while I reviewed the evening on the way home I was forcibly reminded that I am going to waste. I could *easily* keep up with this guy. I could anticipate much of what he was leading up to. I found the Before slides demonstrating poor design almost physically painful, and the After solutions comforting and recognisably something that I might have drawn. I'm a bit rusty on some of the formalities, but he spent most of his time criticizing the current standards and practices which I'd never bothered with anyway. We both thought they were equally flawed and lacking in the critical requirement of actually communicating between technical and business folk. I could do this work and do it well. I was once worth squillions in consulting fees. I had a clue, damnit.
But I can't do this work in any meaningful way now because I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and clinical depression, to give the short list. I'm still on the books working from home in a consulting capacity as a tech writer and apprentice master, but the hours I can work are shrinking and shrinking ever further. So yes, this is depressing.
As an added bonus, I'm stuck with broken internet for at least another couple of days before I get my new Optus gear, so I can't even bury myself in what meaningful work remains to me (I'm even off rocks still so can't do much with the Pretty Rock Empire). I'll try, but dialup speeds are no-one's friend. Oh for the heady days of a poor-to-middling mobile broadband connection.
I'll get over it I suppose. I'm not sure if it would be a good or bad idea to look at my portfolio, but I think I might - I'm proud of what I managed to achieve in my former life.
--
BTW The "Art" in the title was a lie - diagram design is all science. *swoon*
I have mixed feelings about the evening; while the validation factor was great, I did feel depressed later because I was reminded of how much of myself is going to waste with this bloody illness/lifestyle thing I have.
First the validation. I had no argument with anything the international expert said and it was positively glorious to watch someone else wax lyrically about communication, cognitive load, gestalt theory, clustering, and alignment. I got to ask some intelligent questions about things that I liked to do that he hadn't time to cover, and I got a big smile and two thumbs up in approval. I've always been confident in my skill in this area, but clearly I do actually know what I'm doing.
Or rather, I *knew* what I *was* doing. Ah tenses, how cruel.
I was rather pleased I managed to avoid fangirling over the speaker and getting myself into an incoherent caffeine-fuelled attempt to verbally discuss the many ways in which his work resonated, and to ask dreamy questions about data and business process modelling. Rather I retreated from the networking chat session afterwards and drove myself home. The function centre chair had done me some damage, and being the driver I'd had to go light on the pain relief.
Sadly while I reviewed the evening on the way home I was forcibly reminded that I am going to waste. I could *easily* keep up with this guy. I could anticipate much of what he was leading up to. I found the Before slides demonstrating poor design almost physically painful, and the After solutions comforting and recognisably something that I might have drawn. I'm a bit rusty on some of the formalities, but he spent most of his time criticizing the current standards and practices which I'd never bothered with anyway. We both thought they were equally flawed and lacking in the critical requirement of actually communicating between technical and business folk. I could do this work and do it well. I was once worth squillions in consulting fees. I had a clue, damnit.
But I can't do this work in any meaningful way now because I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and clinical depression, to give the short list. I'm still on the books working from home in a consulting capacity as a tech writer and apprentice master, but the hours I can work are shrinking and shrinking ever further. So yes, this is depressing.
As an added bonus, I'm stuck with broken internet for at least another couple of days before I get my new Optus gear, so I can't even bury myself in what meaningful work remains to me (I'm even off rocks still so can't do much with the Pretty Rock Empire). I'll try, but dialup speeds are no-one's friend. Oh for the heady days of a poor-to-middling mobile broadband connection.
I'll get over it I suppose. I'm not sure if it would be a good or bad idea to look at my portfolio, but I think I might - I'm proud of what I managed to achieve in my former life.
--
BTW The "Art" in the title was a lie - diagram design is all science. *swoon*