The zebra: function follows form
(With apologies to zebra363 for any unintended offence.)
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about zebras. They eat grass, run from lions, get caught and eaten by lions, and occasionally (here my interest perks up a bit) they kill lions with a kick. Sometimes they cross rivers and get eaten by crocodiles. They've never really pressed my Horsie! buttons, but instead I view them through the eyes of a predator as an anonymous smorgasboard; the small and weak are the daily specials. This is not to say that individuals are not attractive; zebra foals can be extremely fluffy and cute:
But that's not where my mind usually goes. This is where it usually goes:
Now we all know what a zebra looks like, we can move on to a recently-acquired representation of the zebra in the form of a plush hand puppet, as per the image below:
So it's an angry zebra. I get that. Lions, cheetahs, crocodiles, stallions full of testosterone, mares full of politics, foals served for lunch. But what's that thing coming out of its mouth? It's a piece of elastic firmly attached to the inside of the throat, and on the end is a bunch of felt leaves. It's a long skinny tongue with a lure on the end.
Perhaps, suggested Husband, it's a catch game. Whilst wearing the puppet you make its head toss and you snatch the leaves out of the air. An unusual accessory for an allegedly representational toy, but strangers things have been manufactured in China.
However, why would a zebra be interested in a bunch of leaves? They're grazers, not browsers. It doesn't make sense for a zebra to eat leaves, so what does eat leaves and why would the zebra care? We could be looking at a slightly odd and mildly inaccurate toy, or perhaps it's something else. What if this is a new kind of zebra? A carnivorous predatory zebra that lures giraffe and elephants to their deaths and then strikes with an ambush attack?
That would be cool.
It works like this: the "leaves" on the tip of the "tongue" are designed to mimic the favoured food of the zebra's prey, in the same manner as the angler fish.
There's an ecological niche available for something that can take down adult giraffe and elephants, so that's where our NewZebra has gone. It actually depends on its prey being larger than itself. The NewZebra stands behind a tree, perfectly camoflaged in the shadows and grasses, and loops its long elastic tongue over a high branch. It hooks a hoof around the base of the tree to maintain its position. The unsuspecting prey comes to feed on the lush leaves at the top of the tree, and takes the bait. At precisely the right moment the NewZebra releases its hold on the tree and is drawn by the elastic tongue directly into the face of its prey, flying at lightning speed out of the tree.
That's the ambush. What about the kill? While an elephant is probably structurally sound enough to tolerate the weight of a full-grown zebra flying into its face at speed, there's a good chance that this action would break the neck of a more fragile giraffe either immediately or during the inevitable fall that follows. And the elephant? The surprise alone would do the trick. Consider the image from their point of view: Munch munch much... OMG (NEW)ZEBRA IN MY FACE! I think my heart just stopped. Oh.
Depending on the timing of the release and perhaps the individual's preferred hunting style, the elephant might survive the surprise, but choke on the NewZebra wedged deep in its throat.
For now, giraffe and elephants are vulnerable, but eventually the evolutionary arms race will allow them to catch up and develop defences against the NewZebra. I wonder what that would look like? Will lions learn to follow NewZebra not for their own flesh, but for a chance at their leftover kills? Will unchecked NewZebra cover the planet, ever more hungry, seeking new prey?
Watch out for that salad; it might be a NewZebra.
ED: The NewZebra has been rechristened the AnglerZebra, and I'm tempted to edit it into an illustrated children's book. There's something about the image of a zebra facehugging a giraffe via catapult that I think would appeal to children. I should probably stay away from children.
ED2: But wait, there's more: http://stephbg.livejournal.com/605943.html
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about zebras. They eat grass, run from lions, get caught and eaten by lions, and occasionally (here my interest perks up a bit) they kill lions with a kick. Sometimes they cross rivers and get eaten by crocodiles. They've never really pressed my Horsie! buttons, but instead I view them through the eyes of a predator as an anonymous smorgasboard; the small and weak are the daily specials. This is not to say that individuals are not attractive; zebra foals can be extremely fluffy and cute:
But that's not where my mind usually goes. This is where it usually goes:
Now we all know what a zebra looks like, we can move on to a recently-acquired representation of the zebra in the form of a plush hand puppet, as per the image below:
So it's an angry zebra. I get that. Lions, cheetahs, crocodiles, stallions full of testosterone, mares full of politics, foals served for lunch. But what's that thing coming out of its mouth? It's a piece of elastic firmly attached to the inside of the throat, and on the end is a bunch of felt leaves. It's a long skinny tongue with a lure on the end.
Perhaps, suggested Husband, it's a catch game. Whilst wearing the puppet you make its head toss and you snatch the leaves out of the air. An unusual accessory for an allegedly representational toy, but strangers things have been manufactured in China.
However, why would a zebra be interested in a bunch of leaves? They're grazers, not browsers. It doesn't make sense for a zebra to eat leaves, so what does eat leaves and why would the zebra care? We could be looking at a slightly odd and mildly inaccurate toy, or perhaps it's something else. What if this is a new kind of zebra? A carnivorous predatory zebra that lures giraffe and elephants to their deaths and then strikes with an ambush attack?
That would be cool.
It works like this: the "leaves" on the tip of the "tongue" are designed to mimic the favoured food of the zebra's prey, in the same manner as the angler fish.
There's an ecological niche available for something that can take down adult giraffe and elephants, so that's where our NewZebra has gone. It actually depends on its prey being larger than itself. The NewZebra stands behind a tree, perfectly camoflaged in the shadows and grasses, and loops its long elastic tongue over a high branch. It hooks a hoof around the base of the tree to maintain its position. The unsuspecting prey comes to feed on the lush leaves at the top of the tree, and takes the bait. At precisely the right moment the NewZebra releases its hold on the tree and is drawn by the elastic tongue directly into the face of its prey, flying at lightning speed out of the tree.
That's the ambush. What about the kill? While an elephant is probably structurally sound enough to tolerate the weight of a full-grown zebra flying into its face at speed, there's a good chance that this action would break the neck of a more fragile giraffe either immediately or during the inevitable fall that follows. And the elephant? The surprise alone would do the trick. Consider the image from their point of view: Munch munch much... OMG (NEW)ZEBRA IN MY FACE! I think my heart just stopped. Oh.
Depending on the timing of the release and perhaps the individual's preferred hunting style, the elephant might survive the surprise, but choke on the NewZebra wedged deep in its throat.
For now, giraffe and elephants are vulnerable, but eventually the evolutionary arms race will allow them to catch up and develop defences against the NewZebra. I wonder what that would look like? Will lions learn to follow NewZebra not for their own flesh, but for a chance at their leftover kills? Will unchecked NewZebra cover the planet, ever more hungry, seeking new prey?
Watch out for that salad; it might be a NewZebra.
ED: The NewZebra has been rechristened the AnglerZebra, and I'm tempted to edit it into an illustrated children's book. There's something about the image of a zebra facehugging a giraffe via catapult that I think would appeal to children. I should probably stay away from children.
ED2: But wait, there's more: http://stephbg.livejournal.com/605943.html