Being Enough
So, over the last few weeks, first I went without a computer for 11 days, and then just after I got my new computer, both boys got sick. MrD ended up only attending 2 out of 5 school days this week, and Toddler X has been awake (and keeping me awake with him) for most of every night.
I've been trying really hard to push through and get everything done on time or early anyway...but yeah. I've failed. And I really hate that.
Today, I had to send two emails that made me cringe. In one, I asked for a second extension on a book review that I'm scheduled to write; in the other, I had to say to my very favorite, long-term (and wonderful) freelance employer that, as much as I really do want to help them out in a difficult situation, I can't actually promise to turn in the next draft of my latest project much earlier than we'd originally agreed.
I guess whether or not those necessary emails sound cringe-inducing to you depends on your particular personality...but when it comes to driven, anxious, perfectionist me, I found them EXCRUCIATING.
So it was really good timing for me to be in the middle of reading Brené Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection. Here's a quote from the introduction that resonated so much for me, I stopped and re-read it several times:
Wholehearted living...means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Again, that may not sound earth-shattering to many people - but for me, oh, lord, does it resonate! And so many other passages in this book have resonated, for me, as well. I'm reading a library copy right now, but I will definitely be buying a copy to keep, as well as looking for copies of her other books.
What about you guys? Do any of you struggle with perfectionism, or is that a non-issue for you? (I wish it was for me!) If you do share that struggle, what are some of the tactics you've used to deal with it? There was a while when I relied heavily on writing "Done Lists" at the end of each day, showing exactly how much I had gotten done even on days that felt incredibly unproductive. On the other hand, of course a big point of the book I'm reading right now is that we shouldn't be judging our own worthiness by our productivity anyway. I would like to be able to stop doing that...but I'm also up for any tips to help along the way.
Either way, I highly recommend The Gifts of Imperfection!
I've been trying really hard to push through and get everything done on time or early anyway...but yeah. I've failed. And I really hate that.
Today, I had to send two emails that made me cringe. In one, I asked for a second extension on a book review that I'm scheduled to write; in the other, I had to say to my very favorite, long-term (and wonderful) freelance employer that, as much as I really do want to help them out in a difficult situation, I can't actually promise to turn in the next draft of my latest project much earlier than we'd originally agreed.
I guess whether or not those necessary emails sound cringe-inducing to you depends on your particular personality...but when it comes to driven, anxious, perfectionist me, I found them EXCRUCIATING.
So it was really good timing for me to be in the middle of reading Brené Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection. Here's a quote from the introduction that resonated so much for me, I stopped and re-read it several times:
Wholehearted living...means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Again, that may not sound earth-shattering to many people - but for me, oh, lord, does it resonate! And so many other passages in this book have resonated, for me, as well. I'm reading a library copy right now, but I will definitely be buying a copy to keep, as well as looking for copies of her other books.
What about you guys? Do any of you struggle with perfectionism, or is that a non-issue for you? (I wish it was for me!) If you do share that struggle, what are some of the tactics you've used to deal with it? There was a while when I relied heavily on writing "Done Lists" at the end of each day, showing exactly how much I had gotten done even on days that felt incredibly unproductive. On the other hand, of course a big point of the book I'm reading right now is that we shouldn't be judging our own worthiness by our productivity anyway. I would like to be able to stop doing that...but I'm also up for any tips to help along the way.
Either way, I highly recommend The Gifts of Imperfection!