Rewriting, magic, and more
Oh, did this past week end better than it had begun!
I started out the week desperately hoping to rewrite three chapters of my chapterbook...then became miserably certain I wouldn't manage it, because I was too tired and had too many other pressing chores to do.
Then I ended the week with three and a half chapters revised, after all, as well as a long-shot-but-potentially-wonderful grant application put together and sent off. Whew!
And - most miraculously of all, for me - I finally, finally found a way into my Family Magic rewrite, which I'd been stuck on for months! My plan had been to start the rewrite in February just because I couldn't possibly put it off any longer. Reading books on structure had made me finally understand exactly what wasn't working in my first draft - but they hadn't given me any shots of inspiration for how to rewrite the book in second draft, they'd only made me unhappily aware of the book's current structural issues.
Then, this week, two things happened: first, I got an amazing, wonderful email from one of the book's beta readers, reminding me of exactly what I'd loved about the book in the first place; and then I read this Jennifer Crusie blog entry on Premise, Central Story Question, and Theme. Somehow: ta-da! Those two factors worked together. I was feeling so much better about the book and more in tune with what I wanted the book to be, based on my friend's email - and so I was in just the right mood to read that blog entry on structure and think Aha! That's it.
So I went from thinking, at the beginning of the week, I'll never be able to start that rewrite in February! to - completely shockingly, to myself - actually starting the rewrite this weekend! It's all still very tenuous and uncertain in my hands, but for the first time in months, I'm excited (instead of scared) by the book again, and I really want to find out what happens in the all-new plot. Whew! That feels pretty miraculous right now.
And? Last night I found out that, through my parents' huge generosity, we will have a family vacation this year after all, this spring, three generations of us together. I am so, so excited about that! A family vacation had sounded like an impossible dream this year because of our financial issues, so this is just amazing news for all of us. I've already started counting down the weeks. MrD is, too!
In the last few months, as I've gotten more and more worried about money, every night as I've lain in bed before sleep, no matter how good that day might have been, I've always heard a little droning voice in my head saying over and over again: I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I've had to force myself to counter that every night with positive mantras. (Mainly, It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It really, really is.)
Last night, though, as I lay in bed, a totally different line kept repeating itself in my head, and it felt so surprising and wonderful and new. It was: I'm happy! I'm happy!
And it was true.
I started out the week desperately hoping to rewrite three chapters of my chapterbook...then became miserably certain I wouldn't manage it, because I was too tired and had too many other pressing chores to do.
Then I ended the week with three and a half chapters revised, after all, as well as a long-shot-but-potentially-wonderful grant application put together and sent off. Whew!
And - most miraculously of all, for me - I finally, finally found a way into my Family Magic rewrite, which I'd been stuck on for months! My plan had been to start the rewrite in February just because I couldn't possibly put it off any longer. Reading books on structure had made me finally understand exactly what wasn't working in my first draft - but they hadn't given me any shots of inspiration for how to rewrite the book in second draft, they'd only made me unhappily aware of the book's current structural issues.
Then, this week, two things happened: first, I got an amazing, wonderful email from one of the book's beta readers, reminding me of exactly what I'd loved about the book in the first place; and then I read this Jennifer Crusie blog entry on Premise, Central Story Question, and Theme. Somehow: ta-da! Those two factors worked together. I was feeling so much better about the book and more in tune with what I wanted the book to be, based on my friend's email - and so I was in just the right mood to read that blog entry on structure and think Aha! That's it.
So I went from thinking, at the beginning of the week, I'll never be able to start that rewrite in February! to - completely shockingly, to myself - actually starting the rewrite this weekend! It's all still very tenuous and uncertain in my hands, but for the first time in months, I'm excited (instead of scared) by the book again, and I really want to find out what happens in the all-new plot. Whew! That feels pretty miraculous right now.
And? Last night I found out that, through my parents' huge generosity, we will have a family vacation this year after all, this spring, three generations of us together. I am so, so excited about that! A family vacation had sounded like an impossible dream this year because of our financial issues, so this is just amazing news for all of us. I've already started counting down the weeks. MrD is, too!
In the last few months, as I've gotten more and more worried about money, every night as I've lain in bed before sleep, no matter how good that day might have been, I've always heard a little droning voice in my head saying over and over again: I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I've had to force myself to counter that every night with positive mantras. (Mainly, It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It really, really is.)
Last night, though, as I lay in bed, a totally different line kept repeating itself in my head, and it felt so surprising and wonderful and new. It was: I'm happy! I'm happy!
And it was true.