Hard truths

[stephanieburgis]

There's a blog entry I've been wanting - or, really, needing - to write for a while, but I've been resisting it. The problem is, this blog is my safe space, the place I come to hang out with my friends and be the person I identify as, the one who's all about books and magic and highwaymen and romance. It's not about the body I've been stuck in ever

Comments

[aimeesworld]

Thanks for this post.
I'm sorry that you've lost a favourite author.

[stephanieburgis]

Thanks so much, Aimee.

[varanus]

Perhaps I'm not a nice person, but...

You know what? Thoughtlessly repeating a social meme is no excuse for, well, thoughtlessly repeating a social meme that has real effects on real people. If one is contributing to the culture of "benefits cheats are draining our society" via literary works or just endless repetition, that's still enraging. Anyone with a modicum of decency *should* be able to see through the "Disabled/poor/whatever people just don't want to work" bullshit; it doesn't matter how often one hears it.

Argh. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

[stephanieburgis]

Thanks so much for being so supportive.

[heleninwales]

What you said! For about 7 years I worked for the local college teaching IT to the unemployed. In all that time, I can count on the fingers of one hand the ones who were deliberately playing the system. In fact, looking back, just two people come to mind.

What is more, even on the rare occasions when someone does cheat, they get away with a few thousand a year while tax cheats and tax avoiders get away with hundreds of thousands.

I have no idea who the author mentioned in the post is, but the idea of a book about a detective uncovering benefit cheats makes me feel rather queasy. I just hope I never come across it.

[skarrah]

I have CFS/ME too and the whole 'guilty until proven innocent' with the benefit cheat thing drives me crazy. Yes, there are people out there cheating the system but there are so many other people who rely on those benefits to pay their rent or buy groceries. They shouldn't have to feel ashamed or defend themselves. As if disability isn't hard enough, right? Especially with something like CFS/ME where there is no difinitive test to says 'yes, this is what you have, this is how you fix it'. It's like not having that test means you don't really have the illness to some people. (Yeah, that one's my pet peeve.)

I'm sorry you've lost a favourite author because of this.

Hope the CFS/ME is giving you a break with this nice weather.

[stephanieburgis]

Thank you so much, and oh, so much empathy!

[sheela_chari]

Wow. What a brave post, Steph. I think it taught me seveal things...like as writers, we have to constantly guard ourselves from making misassumptions and perpetuating stereotypes when creating our characters. I'm thinking about that writer, who might not have meant any harm, and yet thoughtlessly wrote what they did because they didn't take the time to imagine the potential true life of their characters. How awful for you to have read it. I can't think of anything worse than a favorite writer disappointing me like that.

I'm so sorry that you have ever been made to feel shameful about your condition, when actually you should feel proud of all your accomplishments, in spite of them. How can anyone not admire that? I had a medical condition that consumed me for years, which I finally overcame physically, but which left emotional scars. I'm okay, but a sudden thoughtless comment by someone who doesn't know about it (and most people don't) can still throw me.

You're very brave, Steph. Very brave and very strong.

[stephanieburgis]

Thank you so much, Sheela!

And yes - that bit in the novel I read was just a moment of backstory, casual background information to set up how smart and creative the heroine was. I'm sure the author never even stopped to imagine that any of his/her readers might identify with those unnamed disabilities claimants rather than with the strong, smart heroine who's cleverly saving companies from their cheating ways. That can be a real danger in writing, I think - we tend to assume that our readers will share our own experiences, so it can be too easy to toss out a stereotype in passing, just because it's never affected us in our own lives. It's part of why I didn't want to name the author here, because I don't think they did it intentionally...but it still really, really hurt to read it.

Much empathy on your own medical struggles! *HUGS*

[ex_triciasu]

Even if it was unintentional, I can so relate to the phenomenon Steph is talking about here where something thoughtless in a book (or movie) sets off a horrific chain reaction. It may be the straw that broke the camel's back, but the real issue in my mind is not with that one author or that one instance, but the fact that people with disabilities have to cope with stereotyping and prejudice on top of the burden they are already carrying.

I'm not disabled in any way whatsoever, but I've been in places where the most slightly 'off' thing said to me would trigger a gun pointed at me. I get a sick feeling in my stomach reading this post, because I have enough common points of reference to know what it is. I do think that triggering is a very difficult phenomenon to understand until one has spent some prolonged time in a fairly terrible place, socially and/or psycho-physically, financially, etc. Losing a favourite author is really the least of it.

[ex_triciasu]

I will be back later but just for this moment *GIANT HUG*

[stephanieburgis]

*HUGS*

[ex_triciasu]

I just wanted to add that when you revealed your first reaction (to shrug it off, make nice) and then your reaction to your reaction...that is maybe the most powerful thing I took from this post. It must be so, so hard to have to put these feelings and thoughts out there. Especially when rage invites conflict, and conflict is the last thing you need when times are hard.

But sometimes rage is all you got, and better out than in. I get chills down my spine to see you taking a stand for yourself. Thank you for posting it.

And good luck with the interview! I saw it on Twitter, but you'd gone by then, I imagine.

[stephanieburgis]

Thank you SO MUCH, Trish. *HUGS* And thanks for the good luck wishes, too! The interview went well, I think. I really liked the reporter. We'll see!