Goodbye to You...and you and you and you...
Daddy left yesterday. Ryan and I took him to the airport and on the way back, Ry and i were just laughing and singing dorky songs (disco fever cd anyone?), but then we got back to my place...and it hit me. We went upstairs and there was a note from A that he went over to AP's for dinner, so we decided to get chinese. Ry went out to pick it up and then...I was alone. And it hit me.
Gawsh.
I just sat on the floor in front of the futon in the living room and started crying, just bawling. I hadn't really thought about leaving yet...i mean, it was more like i was just going away on vacation. Not really...moving. And I started thinking about everything i was going to miss...going to the mall with Tanith and trying on ugly clothes, watching my sisters grow up, their first dates and first bras and first everythings..., my mom and daddy and how they always take care of me, coaching my kids at the rink - they all moved up, even Shannon and Karly, going out for coffee and binging on fruit rollups with em, the birth of jams & bran's child, playing xbox with craiggers and a and fedor, the orange couch in the kitchen...just...everything.
Monday night, Tanith had a goodbye party for me. A lot of people from the rink(s) showed up, people I've known for years, some new friends, even Tiff who came all the way from cali for it haha. ;) We had a great time, just hanging out and talking about plans and futures and where everyone wants to be. I dunno. I just wish that I could be there for it all.
But at the same time i feel like I'm supposed to be in Colorado. On my own...that's a big step. A huge one for me in fact and though it's weird and hard and frustrating since I can't get the dumb internet people to give me hi-speed until THURSDAY, but it's kinda refreshing. Like a breath of cold winter air after being inside for too long. oh that was all metaphory, i gotta stop that. no one takes me seriously when i do that.
I said all my goodbyes at the party. Tan asked if i wanted her to come over and help me finish packing, but i said no...i didn't want to drag it all out. So i said goodbye to people as they left and before i knew it, it was just me, fed, and tan left. So I gave Fedor a big hug and a smooch on the cheek because Tan let me, and then it was Tanith's turn. It was hard...we've been friends since the second she came to detroit...i mean really, we were just meant to be friends. We were the ditzes of the DSC for years, we won junior nationals the same year, we had all these plans to go to the olympics together in 2006...so many sleepovers and trips to competitions and heartbreaks and happniesses...and then we had to say goodbye. I know I know, I'm soooo melodramatic, because it's not like we'll never see each other again in fact i'll see her in a month when we go back for the silverstein/forsyth wedding, but it's weird not to be together anymore. So we hugged and cried for a long time and finally Fedor had to pull us apart so he could mack on her, and I went home.
The next morning it was even worse. i finished packing the car, all except for my big ole purse and my CDs so I was just making sure i had everything and i was sitting on Mandy's bed in our room and Cat comes in. She has a picture for me that she colored to hang up in my new house. She's not really old enough to understand how permanent this is, but I opened up my arms and told her to sit on my lap and she did and put her arms around my neck. I asked her if she was going to miss me and she said she would and we sat there for a couple of minutes. Then Libby and Melis came in and Libby cuddles up next to me on the other side and Melis sits next to her and then Mandy comes in with Jessie and puts her on the other half of my lap and we're all sitting there...all six of us girls, on Mandy's bed, just about the saddest lot of people ever. And then Libby goes, "Mom said we don't have to start school today until Stephie leaves. Stephie, can you stay til lunch?" And that was what we needed, we all just CRACKED UP, even Jessie was laughing, and then I started tickling Cat and we were all just going crazy. Mom came in with the camera and I can't wait to see these...hahahhaa. So after that, it was time to say goodbye...I gave everyone hugs and tried not to cry but i did anyway. And my dad got in the moving truck and I got in my blue truck and drove over to A's to pick him up and before I knew it, i was waving goodbye to Detroit...
And here I am. So i was thinking about all of that last night while i was crying and then Ry came back with the Chinese food and I tried to wipe my eyes after i buzzed him in, but he could tell because i had snot hanging from my nose. ew i know! So he held me while we sat on the futon and ate chinese and didn't ask me to explain, but instead changed the subject and told me needed a dorky nickname for me, so he came up with pumpkin which i tried to veto but he kept calling me it and i accidentally answered to it last night so i think it's stuck.
ahhhhh this is so long. i went to the rink and got my job set this morning and that's ALL i am going to say, sorry for writing FOR FOREVER. :[
*Steph*
Gawsh.
I just sat on the floor in front of the futon in the living room and started crying, just bawling. I hadn't really thought about leaving yet...i mean, it was more like i was just going away on vacation. Not really...moving. And I started thinking about everything i was going to miss...going to the mall with Tanith and trying on ugly clothes, watching my sisters grow up, their first dates and first bras and first everythings..., my mom and daddy and how they always take care of me, coaching my kids at the rink - they all moved up, even Shannon and Karly, going out for coffee and binging on fruit rollups with em, the birth of jams & bran's child, playing xbox with craiggers and a and fedor, the orange couch in the kitchen...just...everything.
Monday night, Tanith had a goodbye party for me. A lot of people from the rink(s) showed up, people I've known for years, some new friends, even Tiff who came all the way from cali for it haha. ;) We had a great time, just hanging out and talking about plans and futures and where everyone wants to be. I dunno. I just wish that I could be there for it all.
But at the same time i feel like I'm supposed to be in Colorado. On my own...that's a big step. A huge one for me in fact and though it's weird and hard and frustrating since I can't get the dumb internet people to give me hi-speed until THURSDAY, but it's kinda refreshing. Like a breath of cold winter air after being inside for too long. oh that was all metaphory, i gotta stop that. no one takes me seriously when i do that.
I said all my goodbyes at the party. Tan asked if i wanted her to come over and help me finish packing, but i said no...i didn't want to drag it all out. So i said goodbye to people as they left and before i knew it, it was just me, fed, and tan left. So I gave Fedor a big hug and a smooch on the cheek because Tan let me, and then it was Tanith's turn. It was hard...we've been friends since the second she came to detroit...i mean really, we were just meant to be friends. We were the ditzes of the DSC for years, we won junior nationals the same year, we had all these plans to go to the olympics together in 2006...so many sleepovers and trips to competitions and heartbreaks and happniesses...and then we had to say goodbye. I know I know, I'm soooo melodramatic, because it's not like we'll never see each other again in fact i'll see her in a month when we go back for the silverstein/forsyth wedding, but it's weird not to be together anymore. So we hugged and cried for a long time and finally Fedor had to pull us apart so he could mack on her, and I went home.
The next morning it was even worse. i finished packing the car, all except for my big ole purse and my CDs so I was just making sure i had everything and i was sitting on Mandy's bed in our room and Cat comes in. She has a picture for me that she colored to hang up in my new house. She's not really old enough to understand how permanent this is, but I opened up my arms and told her to sit on my lap and she did and put her arms around my neck. I asked her if she was going to miss me and she said she would and we sat there for a couple of minutes. Then Libby and Melis came in and Libby cuddles up next to me on the other side and Melis sits next to her and then Mandy comes in with Jessie and puts her on the other half of my lap and we're all sitting there...all six of us girls, on Mandy's bed, just about the saddest lot of people ever. And then Libby goes, "Mom said we don't have to start school today until Stephie leaves. Stephie, can you stay til lunch?" And that was what we needed, we all just CRACKED UP, even Jessie was laughing, and then I started tickling Cat and we were all just going crazy. Mom came in with the camera and I can't wait to see these...hahahhaa. So after that, it was time to say goodbye...I gave everyone hugs and tried not to cry but i did anyway. And my dad got in the moving truck and I got in my blue truck and drove over to A's to pick him up and before I knew it, i was waving goodbye to Detroit...
And here I am. So i was thinking about all of that last night while i was crying and then Ry came back with the Chinese food and I tried to wipe my eyes after i buzzed him in, but he could tell because i had snot hanging from my nose. ew i know! So he held me while we sat on the futon and ate chinese and didn't ask me to explain, but instead changed the subject and told me needed a dorky nickname for me, so he came up with pumpkin which i tried to veto but he kept calling me it and i accidentally answered to it last night so i think it's stuck.
ahhhhh this is so long. i went to the rink and got my job set this morning and that's ALL i am going to say, sorry for writing FOR FOREVER. :[
*Steph*