Final Note For Zwan
Zwan
What right have I to single you out anymore?
Yes my invitation to MySpace did coincide with someone else's new MySpace account. And to clarify (perhaps defend myself) there isn't hostility there, or at least much hostility, just suspicion. My last encounter with that particular person was... Well, honestly it hurt, and yes that is a grudge I still carry around. Not healthy I know, but there was never much resolution to that relationship anyway. That is my fault entirely, and I do accept the blame/guilt for that. I put myself in my own quandaries, possibly to just play the martyred saint... But then that is my own doubt and attitudes to deal with, not anyone elses.
For my "relationship" with you, I must admit, your manner of cloaking and my insatiable curiosity made it a rather fun game for me to try to figure out who you are. I still don't mind your comments. If anything it ups the stakes of mystery on who you are and how the heck you know about me. I do not want to readily destroy the "relationship" we have, for its something of a challenge to me and I do enjoy most challenges. That and I have come to enjoy the comments you leave for me, since you are masked, and usually the only person to leave any such comments for me. I do look for as many people as I can that would support my in my crisis', as perpetual as they may be.
Though concerning ending our "chatting" of sorts. I have spoken to Joshua about the "relationship" between you and I Zwan, and he isn't happy about it. His younger sister Jasmine... Well, she has her own MySpace and were you to stumble across that, you wold understand his annoyance with so called "online relationships". That and I do have a problem with her level of "online relationships". I know I've spoken of that before in journals and blogs, the thousands I may have. Basically, how do I know who you are, and who I am speaking to? How do I know you aren't some perverted old man jacking off at his computer to young girls in their naivete (As backwards as that sounds)? How do I know you aren't some stalker just trying to lure me in? Though your questions and comments to me have been honorable so far, I would assume, perhaps wrongly of course, that you are an honorable creature yourself.
So to leave the both of us in limbo, I don't want to see you go, at least not before I've seen your true face, but to honor my soon-to-be husband and your own requests, I should see you go. I suppose I will be cruel and teasing and leave the choice entirely up to you since I know you will follow my steps wherever I go anyways. But know how I feel, and know my insanity behind my words. I still cannot say I love you or that I really even like you *smile* but I would consider you a companion on the crazy twisting road I travel.
So farewell then Zwan. I know our paths collide and they will again. So I will just bid you a fond farewell and see you later down the road.
-The Not-So-Icy Princess
What right have I to single you out anymore?
Yes my invitation to MySpace did coincide with someone else's new MySpace account. And to clarify (perhaps defend myself) there isn't hostility there, or at least much hostility, just suspicion. My last encounter with that particular person was... Well, honestly it hurt, and yes that is a grudge I still carry around. Not healthy I know, but there was never much resolution to that relationship anyway. That is my fault entirely, and I do accept the blame/guilt for that. I put myself in my own quandaries, possibly to just play the martyred saint... But then that is my own doubt and attitudes to deal with, not anyone elses.
For my "relationship" with you, I must admit, your manner of cloaking and my insatiable curiosity made it a rather fun game for me to try to figure out who you are. I still don't mind your comments. If anything it ups the stakes of mystery on who you are and how the heck you know about me. I do not want to readily destroy the "relationship" we have, for its something of a challenge to me and I do enjoy most challenges. That and I have come to enjoy the comments you leave for me, since you are masked, and usually the only person to leave any such comments for me. I do look for as many people as I can that would support my in my crisis', as perpetual as they may be.
Though concerning ending our "chatting" of sorts. I have spoken to Joshua about the "relationship" between you and I Zwan, and he isn't happy about it. His younger sister Jasmine... Well, she has her own MySpace and were you to stumble across that, you wold understand his annoyance with so called "online relationships". That and I do have a problem with her level of "online relationships". I know I've spoken of that before in journals and blogs, the thousands I may have. Basically, how do I know who you are, and who I am speaking to? How do I know you aren't some perverted old man jacking off at his computer to young girls in their naivete (As backwards as that sounds)? How do I know you aren't some stalker just trying to lure me in? Though your questions and comments to me have been honorable so far, I would assume, perhaps wrongly of course, that you are an honorable creature yourself.
So to leave the both of us in limbo, I don't want to see you go, at least not before I've seen your true face, but to honor my soon-to-be husband and your own requests, I should see you go. I suppose I will be cruel and teasing and leave the choice entirely up to you since I know you will follow my steps wherever I go anyways. But know how I feel, and know my insanity behind my words. I still cannot say I love you or that I really even like you *smile* but I would consider you a companion on the crazy twisting road I travel.
So farewell then Zwan. I know our paths collide and they will again. So I will just bid you a fond farewell and see you later down the road.
-The Not-So-Icy Princess