weird
I feel so odd and misplaced. Maybe I should have grown up in a different time, different place. I don't know what I'm looking for but it's not in RIverside and it's not with any of the people I have met here. I'm thinking I need to pick a college far away, maybe on the east coast, and just spend the rest of my days studying U.S. history, it's the only thing I enjoy. I don't know what I'm going to end up doing with a degree in history but I don't care, I love it. I need to get out of here, away form everyone. I'm scared though, I've been mulling over this idea in my head for weeks and I like it, but what if everything goes wrong and I'm miserable and I hate the college I pick and I can't buckle down and get my work done, then what? Fuck I don't know! I'm not ready to grow up but I wish I was, I think I just need to do it and not worry.