wasting my time, in the waiting line.
ever sicne i can remember; i've always wanted to live downtown and work here.
and have my life be here.
and now that i have that.
i feel inomplete, bored, anxious,like im not doing enough, or anytihng at all.
my friends and my boyfriend tell me, i am so young and having your own house, living on your own, supporting myself.. thats a big deal. a big acomplishment.
but i just cant help but feel useless.
this is what i wanted all these years??
then why do i feel so used up and pathetic?
and that there is nothing to do in this city??
THERES SOOO MUCH TO DO!
but i cant seem to find anything.
now that I live here, it's like i never go out anymore.
my life is in a perpetual state of nothingness right now, i feel.
i've got lots of money, i have no worries. i have friends at a lot of downtown retial stores, i get hookups everyqwhere i go...
why am i not happy with all of this??
whats wrong with me??
this is what i wanted all these years!
at least thats what i thought i wanted,
i dont get how this "life" shit works.
im really very confused.
and im so numb to all of this.
i have no extreme feelings of anything.
im numb all the fucking time.
but im not sad.
im not depressed.
im not feeling anything really.
except anxiety.
i feel so washed up at the age of 21.
i want to do so much but i have no desire. i have no drive. i have no inspiration..
what does one do when she has everytihng she wanted but now is now maybe realizing she needs WAY more than this..?
are most highly intelligent people depressed? numb? angry? bored with life?
i dont shop like every 21 year old girl earning almost 2grand a month would.
that doesnt make me happy.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT DOES MAKE ME HAPPY ANYMORE.
fuck.
anyone? any advice? im desprate.
and have my life be here.
and now that i have that.
i feel inomplete, bored, anxious,like im not doing enough, or anytihng at all.
my friends and my boyfriend tell me, i am so young and having your own house, living on your own, supporting myself.. thats a big deal. a big acomplishment.
but i just cant help but feel useless.
this is what i wanted all these years??
then why do i feel so used up and pathetic?
and that there is nothing to do in this city??
THERES SOOO MUCH TO DO!
but i cant seem to find anything.
now that I live here, it's like i never go out anymore.
my life is in a perpetual state of nothingness right now, i feel.
i've got lots of money, i have no worries. i have friends at a lot of downtown retial stores, i get hookups everyqwhere i go...
why am i not happy with all of this??
whats wrong with me??
this is what i wanted all these years!
at least thats what i thought i wanted,
i dont get how this "life" shit works.
im really very confused.
and im so numb to all of this.
i have no extreme feelings of anything.
im numb all the fucking time.
but im not sad.
im not depressed.
im not feeling anything really.
except anxiety.
i feel so washed up at the age of 21.
i want to do so much but i have no desire. i have no drive. i have no inspiration..
what does one do when she has everytihng she wanted but now is now maybe realizing she needs WAY more than this..?
are most highly intelligent people depressed? numb? angry? bored with life?
i dont shop like every 21 year old girl earning almost 2grand a month would.
that doesnt make me happy.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT DOES MAKE ME HAPPY ANYMORE.
fuck.
anyone? any advice? im desprate.