sing me a song
So yeah...I haven't written in this in quite some time. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure really what..but i know a lot happened. I went to the naval base all last week and has an amazing time. I know everyone was jealous. Been doing a lot of random shit lately. Lots of softball as well. I've come to the conclusion that I am a guy trapped in a woman's body. I have the complete mentality of a male...minus the assholishness. But i really do think of most things the way a guy would...and I think that is why I'm not really like any other girls. I guess thats kinda a good thing though...I wouldnt want to be like everyone else. Then life gets boring. I feel like these past couple of months have been good for me. I've had a chance to just clear my mind and get my life sorted out. Just tried to relax and figure things out about myself. This is what I've figured out:
1. I want to be in love.
But not like fake love...I want to be in love and feel loved. Like be able to have the worst day ever but think to myself that everything is ok, because when it comes down to it, I am the luckiest person in the world.
2. I don't care about the majority of the kids that I spend most of my time with.
Now I'm not talking about my close friends, I love them. But everyone else...my "distant friends" i guess you could say, I don't really think that 5 years from now I will even remember some of their names. It seems a bit ridiculous to me to waste my time worrying about what other people think about me when to tell you the truth, their opinion of me will not affect a damn thing I do in my life. SO why should I change my life for them?
3. No matter how bad things get, they always work out in the end.
I've been through some tough things in my life, and I've come to realize that everyone goes through difficult things, and the only way to get through them is to hold onto the ones you love, whether that be your friends, family, or anyone else. Everyone needs someone.
4. You can never go through life not hated.
There is no one who can go through life, never mind high school, and not be despised by at least one person. And with more people who love you, also comes even more people that hate you. Some people try so hard to be well liked, but when it boils down to it, what are they trying so hard for? No matter how hard you try, people will find something about you to dislike. So just be yourself and there may be those who detest you for it, but there will always be the ones there who will stand by your side because of it.
5. Love is probably the most difficult thing to experience.
The hardest thing about love is the fact that you can't help who you fall in love with. What is even more difficult about that is that love does not go away. In some cases it can change to a different kind of love, such as a brotherly love, or just a deep friendship, but that love will always be there. For those not lucky enough for their feelings to change, it is so hard to be without the ones you love. When you love someone, they become a part of you, and when you are without that person, you are incomplete. That is why love is so difficult. Guard your heart, that is what I have learned.
6. Rumors are inevitable, fighting them is a lost cause.
7. You can't give your heart away twice...unless you have gotten it back from the first place.
so yeah, I have figured many things out about myself, but I know I still have more to learn. I try to live each day as if it were meant to happen. As if God woke me up and said "Today, I have big plans for you". Someday those plans will be my life.
Dazed and Confused,
The Steph Gill
1. I want to be in love.
But not like fake love...I want to be in love and feel loved. Like be able to have the worst day ever but think to myself that everything is ok, because when it comes down to it, I am the luckiest person in the world.
2. I don't care about the majority of the kids that I spend most of my time with.
Now I'm not talking about my close friends, I love them. But everyone else...my "distant friends" i guess you could say, I don't really think that 5 years from now I will even remember some of their names. It seems a bit ridiculous to me to waste my time worrying about what other people think about me when to tell you the truth, their opinion of me will not affect a damn thing I do in my life. SO why should I change my life for them?
3. No matter how bad things get, they always work out in the end.
I've been through some tough things in my life, and I've come to realize that everyone goes through difficult things, and the only way to get through them is to hold onto the ones you love, whether that be your friends, family, or anyone else. Everyone needs someone.
4. You can never go through life not hated.
There is no one who can go through life, never mind high school, and not be despised by at least one person. And with more people who love you, also comes even more people that hate you. Some people try so hard to be well liked, but when it boils down to it, what are they trying so hard for? No matter how hard you try, people will find something about you to dislike. So just be yourself and there may be those who detest you for it, but there will always be the ones there who will stand by your side because of it.
5. Love is probably the most difficult thing to experience.
The hardest thing about love is the fact that you can't help who you fall in love with. What is even more difficult about that is that love does not go away. In some cases it can change to a different kind of love, such as a brotherly love, or just a deep friendship, but that love will always be there. For those not lucky enough for their feelings to change, it is so hard to be without the ones you love. When you love someone, they become a part of you, and when you are without that person, you are incomplete. That is why love is so difficult. Guard your heart, that is what I have learned.
6. Rumors are inevitable, fighting them is a lost cause.
7. You can't give your heart away twice...unless you have gotten it back from the first place.
so yeah, I have figured many things out about myself, but I know I still have more to learn. I try to live each day as if it were meant to happen. As if God woke me up and said "Today, I have big plans for you". Someday those plans will be my life.
Dazed and Confused,
The Steph Gill