Steph<~~Screwed up
How could I of done this? I hurt him. That's the last thing I wanted to do. Ry I'm so sorry and that's all I can say. I wish I could go back and take it back, but I can't. I know I should of thought of what I said in my head before I wrote it. Ry I love you and hurting you was the last thing I pictured myself doing. I love you no matter what. Ry you are the person I wake up knowing that I am lucky cause I have you. I've taken you for granted. I didn't realize how I hurt you. Now I do. Ry I want to spend the rest on my life with you. I want to give you everything you deserve. They are right you deserve so much more. I want to make you happy. I'd do anything to make you happy and anything to see you smile. Anything to hear your laugh. Anything to be in your arms. No matter what it is (well unless it's like really really really bad) I'll do it just to be with you. You mean the world to me. I love you more than anything else. Know this: No matter what I'll be here for you. Know that I'll love you NO MATTER WHAT!! Ry you hold a special place in my heart. Yes I am truly sorry about what I wrote.
Man today was a long day. I found out I hurt Ryan. I found out Val isn't goin to come back next year. What am I goin to do? Ryan is hurt by what I said. Val is my best friend and I won't talk to her or see her as much. Too much right now. I just want to go back in time. Back to when Val and her mom got along. Back to when I never hurt ryan. Back to when I wasn't so stupid. Ashley dude I need you to come pick me up. I need someone to talk to. Someone I can trust. Someone that knows me. Someone like you. After school tomorrow let's me and you hang out cause I just need to be around someone that makes me feel better. I really want to be with ryan though. I understand he needs some time alone. I really do. He said we'll see each other on Thursday or Friday. Ashely I've really done something bad. I don't want to loose Ryan. He means everything to me. He's the reason I feel complete. He makes me complete. I'm not Steph with out him. I'm not myself without him. I know people are probably going to say "get over it" or "Your too young" but I'm not I know what's goin on. I know about love. I Know that I love him with all my heart. I know that I would die for him. I would take a bullet for him anyday. I would give up the things I love to make him feel better. Yes even band. Yes even Friday Nights. Being with Ryan is better than anything. Being with him is even better than Marching on Friday nights. Damn Hizzy I screwed up bad and big time. Now my fear is loosing him. I'll write in this Journal tomorrow.
Peace,
Stephanie PaPaDoPoLiS
Man today was a long day. I found out I hurt Ryan. I found out Val isn't goin to come back next year. What am I goin to do? Ryan is hurt by what I said. Val is my best friend and I won't talk to her or see her as much. Too much right now. I just want to go back in time. Back to when Val and her mom got along. Back to when I never hurt ryan. Back to when I wasn't so stupid. Ashley dude I need you to come pick me up. I need someone to talk to. Someone I can trust. Someone that knows me. Someone like you. After school tomorrow let's me and you hang out cause I just need to be around someone that makes me feel better. I really want to be with ryan though. I understand he needs some time alone. I really do. He said we'll see each other on Thursday or Friday. Ashely I've really done something bad. I don't want to loose Ryan. He means everything to me. He's the reason I feel complete. He makes me complete. I'm not Steph with out him. I'm not myself without him. I know people are probably going to say "get over it" or "Your too young" but I'm not I know what's goin on. I know about love. I Know that I love him with all my heart. I know that I would die for him. I would take a bullet for him anyday. I would give up the things I love to make him feel better. Yes even band. Yes even Friday Nights. Being with Ryan is better than anything. Being with him is even better than Marching on Friday nights. Damn Hizzy I screwed up bad and big time. Now my fear is loosing him. I'll write in this Journal tomorrow.
Peace,
Stephanie PaPaDoPoLiS