hot stuff
Well today has kinda sucked! I woke up at like 8 after getting home at around 2:30, then I had to do a bunch of household stuff before going into the shop to get some flowers to make the boutonniere, for Briannes dinner dance, well when I get there Kerry says you here pretty early, im like early? for what? then she says you work 1-5 today. Im like WHAT!!! I havent worked there in like 2 months and had no clue I had to work. It totally ruined my afternoon plans of heading to Toms for drinking and going on the slip and slide, which I was so looking forward to! Now Im at home sitting on my ass in front of a computer because I cant get a hold of Tom to know if I should go over or not. Bah! And my dad is being SUCK a dick. Yes I agreed to help out around the house while mum is recuperating, but I didnt realize that meant that you can now act as if I am your personal slave. Honestly! On a totally unrelated note, 11 days and Im out of here. It is going to be so unbelievable! There is still so much I have to get done before I leave. So many people I have to see before I go and so many people i need to spend more time with. Im a whole mess of emotions! I think that subconsciously Im trying to make it easier for me to leave by distancing my feelings for certain people, so when Im not with them its as if I feel alot less for them. As soon as I get close to the people they are all I can think about, all I want to see. GAWD I make so little sense to myself! I dont know how Im going to manage being 1000s of miles away from him. When he goes to bars or anything like that I get so jealous, I have never felt like that before. I dont understand myself how am I supposed to understand other people? How am I supposed to make a relationship work when I cant even get my own mind to work!