(no subject)
Well to update this, I did go look for wedding dresses and found one. Decided to put a deposit on it, and well now the wedding is off. Me and Matt got into a fight and he called it off. I seriously dont think he is ready. I on the other hand are. But theres where the wedding lies.
I am going back to school now. Ashworth college. Going to be a medical assistant. I am so excited. I should be certified and everything within a year. So thats great.
I had to people who were very close to me die recently. Very, Very Sad. :(
Me and Matt..... well we're on the rocks. We're not doing so great. Part of me thinks theres someone else ever since he started this new job. He just doesnt act the same anymore. Maybe its just me, but i dont know. I used to trust him with everything i had. I guess its just due to my past with exes, putting all my trust in them and them just ruining it due to falling for another girl. I mean i love matt to death but idk whats going to happen. Now we might be moving again in august/september. that will be five times in 1 year. horrible! i just landed a really great job working for State Farm and they are paying to get my licenses and everything and well so far i like it. Im not quite sure i want to move, if we have to in september. i mean i dont want to be without him but i dont want to mess up my life and have nothing going for me due to the fact of me following him all over. I just wish he would realize everything that i have given up to be with him. he means the world to me but i really dont want to give anything else up, call me selfish but i need to figure out my life too. Then i asked him tonight if i had to move due to my job, if he would go with me. and well he said no. that just broke my heart. that right there says we're never going to be together forever. its just hear-breaking. just sad. i just dont know what to do anymore. its like am i wasting my time then? what should i do? i just cant believe that he said no, of all the things that i have done for him.
well i guess thats all for now.. im getting really upset.
I am going back to school now. Ashworth college. Going to be a medical assistant. I am so excited. I should be certified and everything within a year. So thats great.
I had to people who were very close to me die recently. Very, Very Sad. :(
Me and Matt..... well we're on the rocks. We're not doing so great. Part of me thinks theres someone else ever since he started this new job. He just doesnt act the same anymore. Maybe its just me, but i dont know. I used to trust him with everything i had. I guess its just due to my past with exes, putting all my trust in them and them just ruining it due to falling for another girl. I mean i love matt to death but idk whats going to happen. Now we might be moving again in august/september. that will be five times in 1 year. horrible! i just landed a really great job working for State Farm and they are paying to get my licenses and everything and well so far i like it. Im not quite sure i want to move, if we have to in september. i mean i dont want to be without him but i dont want to mess up my life and have nothing going for me due to the fact of me following him all over. I just wish he would realize everything that i have given up to be with him. he means the world to me but i really dont want to give anything else up, call me selfish but i need to figure out my life too. Then i asked him tonight if i had to move due to my job, if he would go with me. and well he said no. that just broke my heart. that right there says we're never going to be together forever. its just hear-breaking. just sad. i just dont know what to do anymore. its like am i wasting my time then? what should i do? i just cant believe that he said no, of all the things that i have done for him.
well i guess thats all for now.. im getting really upset.