Leaning Slightly to the Left | HG | Rated: T
Title: Leaning Slightly to the Left: Chapter 2
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Chapter Warnings: Angst
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 5,817
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Please to see previous Author's Note. Ta. :D
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Leaning Slightly to the Left
Revelations
After everything had been sorted, it dawned on her that things should have been harder to organise. Her boss should have objected a little more that she wanted to transfer back to England. The Ministry should have had to have been persuaded to buy her flat back at such short notice, and it should have taken a while for the Ministry to find a place for her back in the Department of Magical Law. But it didn't. Everything went smoothly, quickly and easily and it was only in the evening as she packed up her things that the worry that went with things going too smoothly set in.
She knew she shouldn't be bothered that things went to plan, but with her history, she could hardly be thought ill of for being a little pessimistic.
The phone call with Ginny had been short and sweet. Ginny knew she was going back home, she had opened the conversation with 'So when do you leave?' to which the reply was, 'as soon as I can get things sorted,'. The rest of the conversation had comprised of logistics, times and offers of temporary accommodation. Hermione was grateful, she had of course, worried a little about where she was going to stay but knew she could sleep at The Leaky Cauldron until she had something sorted.
That contingency plan wasn't needed because Ginny had offered her spare room to Hermione and she had accepted. She felt a little guilty. She knew Ginny was giving up her free time and her one 'game off' a season to help her, but that's what she needed: help.
She rarely admitted she needed help, but this was one time she could hardly deny it. Moving to Paris had been simple and easy. No one there knew her. They knew of her, of course they did, and they thought they knew more about her thanks to Right Hand Man being published, but they didn't hassle her, didn't know everything and left her to build her new life in a foreign city. She had a few friends from work, ones that took her out occasionally and tried to get her out more frequently than she wanted, but she had to admit they were easy to leave behind.
As much as going back home held more trouble than she knew she could fathom at the minute, she didn't care. Nothing compared to home. As much as she'd been trying to kid herself for the past four years that it wasn't the case, she knew she had been lying to herself for every single one of those days. So that's why she needed her best friend to help her get herself sorted and strong before the barrage of emotion, hurt, confusion and any other bad thing she had left behind could hit her.
Had she run away when things got tough? Of course she had. She had come out with miles and miles of words that explained the different reasons why she should move to France and carry on her career there, but really it came down to the fact that she just needed to get away from it all.
So many times throughout the last four years she had tried to work out why things couldn't work out the way she wanted them to, the way they were supposed to, but she never found an answer and more often than not just got upset over the not knowing and frustration in herself and... him.
As she packed her final few things in her small suitcase and made sure she had all the official documents she needed to hand in to the French Ministry before she left (the documents agreeing the sale of her flat to the British Ministry, instructions to pay any outstanding bills from her vault at Gringott's, and her official letter of resignation from her post at the French Ministry) she had an overwhelming feeling of calm. She couldn't help be a little anxious about the next few hours and everything she had to get sorted but she knew she was doing the right thing. She had learned to trust her gut instinct over the years and she was happy that this was the right decision.
With one last look around her now empty flat - her removals portkey had left thirty minutes previously - she once more checked that she had everything she needed to hand and walked to the front door. She put her key on the tiny shelf next to the front door that had given her more than the occasional bruise throughout her time there and made sure the door would lock when she closed it.
She looked through the flat and caught one last look at the window seat where she had sat for hours thinking about everything and nothing, and where she knew she had made the decision to change the way her life was going.
Time to lean to the right.
...oooOOOooo...
She quickly emptied her suitcase in Ginny's spare room and she hauled the three boxes worth of stuff she needed immediately into her room and the lounge.
'I've dotted a few of your things around the lounge, added your weird tea and fancy bottle opener to the kitchen, but I've left the rest of your stuff, namely this massive box here which I can only imagine houses your books, to you. I'd never even dare try and organise your books. More than my life's worth.'
She smiled. 'This is about a tenth of them, I wouldn't make you have the whole lot in your flat. That would be ridiculous.'
Ginny smiled. 'Honestly I wouldn't mind. Sometimes I feel like I should make more of an effort with this place but considering I spend most of the week in Wales and most of the weekend when I'm not playing with Harry, there doesn't seem a great deal of point.' She shrugged.
Hermione gave a half smile. 'I like it here, I know it sounds weird but I feel more at home here than I did in my flat. I loved it, but maybe I just loved the idea of what it represented more than what it was.'
Ginny walked over to her and hugged her. Hermione clung tightly to Ginny, knowing this was one of the reasons why she needed to come home. Having her best friend on the end of the phone was one thing, but being able to be comforted by her like this was something she had missed.
'I want you to treat this place like it's your own, okay? Like I said, I'm hardly here when I'm training so consider this your flat as much as mine.'
Hermione nodded. 'Thanks, Gin, that means... a lot.'
Ginny nodded and Hermione noticed she looked a little uncomfortable.
'Look, Gin, I'm sorry if I've put you in an awkward position, I never meant for you to feel-.'
'Stop that, Hermione. I mean it. I do not feel awkward about you living here and I do not feel awkward about helping you settle in. I accept that there may be the odd awkward situation in the future but there's not a great deal I can do about that and I'd rather have you here than across the Channel. I just... I need to talk to you about something, but I have to go and see how the girls are getting on. It should be an easy win for them but there have been a couple of issues in training so I'm a little nervous.'
'I'm sorry you're here and not at the game, Gin.'
'I'm not. We've got some well juicy games coming up and I'd rather sit this one out then any of them, besides, Jayne needs the experience and she'll get a good game.'
Hermione nodded. 'Okay, well I think I'll get these sorted.' She tapped the box of books with her wand and the lid fell to the floor. Her eyes settled on the book on the top and a surge of need hit her stomach. There was of course more than one reason why she had decided to come back home but there was one main reason and she couldn't wait to see him.
Ginny reached down and picked up the most battered copy of Right Hand Man and smiled.
'When was the last time you bought a copy?'
Hermione thought for a second. 'Um, a few months ago, I think. I was walking past the local school as I was going home from town and there was a jumble sale of sorts. It was sitting there and it was selling for practically nothing so I bought it. Second French version I have.'
'I still find it hard to believe my brother actually wrote this, never mind the fact that someone published it in the country and then around the world. Of all the things I imagined Ron doing, this didn't even cross my mind. Anyway, I'll leave you unpacking. Do you want to meet in the The Leaky for dinner? We can talk then.'
Hermione nodded. 'Yeah, sounds perfect, my treat, though, as a thank you, although dinner doesn't quite cover the thank you I owe you.'
'Shush! I'll let you pay for dinner if you stop with the thank you, crap. You'd do the same for me. Six okay?'
'Perfect. See you there.'
Hermione started unloading the books onto the small set of bookshelves that Ginny had cleared in the spare room. It was ridiculous that just having her books in her room made her feel at home and comforted but it was how she felt, how she would always feel.
She finished organising her books and checked how much time she had before she said she would meet Ginny. She had a couple of hours and wanted to go somewhere first so she showered, dressed and even made herself up a little. It had been a long time since she had taken this much time over her appearance but decided it was some sort of an occasion so she should make some sort of an effort.
...oooOOOooo...
She was in no way hiding. She just didn't really want to be seen. She was calm and peaceful, and felt a sense that anything was possible and that things were going to be okay. She knew she was being optimistic and possibly naive but she found it hard to care. She had spent a year of her life coming up here to think, to talk to herself and to talk to Ron...
She knew she had only been home hours but she was dying to see him. Something had gone wrong along the way and she was determined to fix it.
Because she needed him. There was no two ways about it. The main reason why she had come home was because of him. She just wasn't quite ready to admit it, yet. She was sitting in 'her spot' in front of the large rock on the small hill that overlooked the village and the sun was starting to set. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. She couldn't believe how calm she felt.
'Beautiful, isn't it?'
She jumped and her heart raced and she opened her eyes and drank the sight of him in.
'Sorry,' he said with a smirk that made her heart leap into her mouth and then fall into her shoes. She rose to her feet and brushed off her trousers.
'Um, it's okay, I was just...'
She could feel herself going red and she begged herself to calm down. Her body refused to do as she asked.
'Taking it all in?' Ron replied for her.
'Yeah,' she replied, looking out over the town. 'It still manages to calm me down even after all this time...'
'All this time.'
She made herself look at him, take in the way his hands were buried in his jeans pockets, the way his shoulders were shrugged trying to fight off the cold breeze, the way his hair was as messy as the last time she saw it and he looked... comfortable in himself. This made her heart soar more than anything.
'It's been a while, I suppose,' she said quietly, walking slowly towards him.
'Two years is a bit longer than a while, Hermione.'
She could detect the smallest hint of anger in his voice, but she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or the situation.
'So, you're back now?' he asked quietly, lifting his head to look at her.
She nodded and looked at him once more. She yearned to hold him, to have her fingers in his hair and feel his in hers. She wanted him to tell her that it would all be okay and she started towards him again.
'I missed you so much, Ron.'
She held her arms out to him and expected him to walk into them but he held up his hands and backed away. Her arms dropped along with the smile on her face.
'I have someone,' he said in somewhat of a rush.
The words hit her as if they were physical blows to her body.
'I'm... I'm with someone...' he said, quieter this time, almost apologetically.
She felt tears burn her eyes but she refused to let them fall.
'Oh... I mean, that's... that's... good for you, Ron.'
He nodded but the action wasn't certain.
She tried to think of something to say to break the silence that was suffocating her.
'I, er... I need to go. Ginny's expecting me.' She chanced a look at Ron and he nodded his head. 'I'll see you... see you around, Ron.'
'Yeah,' he murmured.
She wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm against the strengthening breeze.
'Will you be okay getting down?'
She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand and a simple 'I'll be fine'.
'Yeah,' she muttered to herself. 'I'll be fine.'
...oooOOOooo...
'Merlin above that was close! Too close if truth be told. We should have walked that match but we only managed to win by 140 points.'
Hermione had jumped when Ginny had sat down heavily opposite her in the booth.
'Only 140 points?' Hermione asked, a small smile working its way onto her face. Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'My point is, we were behind before the snitch was caught. That shouldn't have happened. We should have been ahead by at least seventy points but we were trailing! I'm just grateful Megan was on top form and got the Snitch before it could get any worse.'
'Was Jayne okay?'
'She was… okay.'
'But…'
'But… it's like she just didn't grasp the opportunity! This was her first start for the Harpies and… to be honest, she played better when she had to come on as a substitute last week for what ended up being the last five minutes because Leah had been knocked unconscious!'
'Wait, you're allowed substitutes in Quidditch? Since when?'
Ginny waved away her question and took a pull of the pint of beer that was sat in front of her.
'Friendly match, you can bend the rules a little, give inexperienced players a run out.'
'Ah, okay. So she played better as a substitute when she should have relished the chance to start in the first team.'
'Exactly! Who wouldn't?'
'Maybe someone who was very scared about replacing the brilliant Ginevra Weasley and who knew her every move would be scrutinised. You're a hard act to follow, Gin. Last week I'm guessing Gwenog was just glad to have someone else out there to make up the full team - you can't sit there and deny the fact that 'friendlies' are anything but - so she could get another win under her belt. Maybe Jayne just did what she had to and wasn't pressured because she was better than having no one out there.'
Ginny stared at her, thoughtfully.
'Hmm, maybe. Anyway, enough talk about Quidditch. Did they have the Steak on?'
Hermione nodded. 'I ordered you the Steak medium-rare and I am having the chicken.'
'Cool.'
'So,' Hermione started while staring resolutely into her large glass of white wine. 'Is the thing you wanted to talk about the fact that Ron is seeing someone?'
Ginny's face twisted as if she had been physically hurt.
'Shit. Sorry, Hermione, I wanted to tell you so I could... I dunno, soften the blow, maybe? I don't mean to be patronising, it's just I thought I'd be the best person to do it. Apparently someone beat me to it.'
'Yes, Ron did.'
Ginny nearly choked on her beer.
'Oh shit. What happened?'
'You know the hill just outside the village?'
'The one with the rock where you spent most of our seventh year? Yeah, I know it.' Ginny smiled and rolled her eyes.
'I was just sitting and revelling in the fact that I was home and I was being optimistic to the point of foolishness thinking that everything was just going to fall into place and be perfect and then... then Ron arrived. I was nervous and... flustered and everything I didn't want to be when I finally saw him and we talked. Awkwardly. Very awkwardly. He seemed... distant and maybe even a little angry about ... something. Anyway, I told him I'd missed him, went to hug him and he stepped back and blurted out that he had someone.'
She took a sip of her wine and looked at Ginny. Ginny's expression made her snort her wine.
'He could have hugged you! Just because he's seeing someone doesn't mean he can't touch another woman! And it's you, Hermione. It's you and it's him and he's... ugh! So, clueless sometimes!'
Hermione smiled and touched Ginny's hand.
'I thank you for getting indignant on my behalf, but it's probably because it's me and him that's there's a problem. And if I'm honest before the non-hug I thought he looked self assured and confident. Not cocky in any way, Ron's incapable of being cocky... well, he was last time I looked. Unless that's changed while I've not been here, but I doubt it. Anyway, like I said, thank you, but it's fine. Really.'
'Really. It's not. He-... ugh, you know what? Doesn't matter. So, how are... you?'
Hermione shrugged.
'Honestly I don't know. I think I'm okay, I just... I didn't come home for Ron, I came home-.'
'Hermione, I didn't believe you the first time you said that to me and I don't believe it now.'
'Then why didn't you warn me that Ron was seeing someone else?'
She knew that her situation was in no way Ginny's fault and she hadn't meant to sound accusatory but her frustration bubbled over.
'Sorry. I-.'
'I didn't tell you because...' she sighed, 'because there's a part of me that doesn't believe you aren't meant to be together. Don't get me wrong, Mattie's a lovely girl-.'
'So, she's called Mattie, is she?' Hermione asked before staring into her wine again.
'Matilda, Mattie, Matt, she doesn't mind what you call her. Anyway, she is, she's lovely and you can tell she loves Ron more than anything... but there's just a part of me that's rooting for my brother and my best friend to get their arses into gear and get on with what you should have got on with years ago. And if I'm honest I wanted you to come home, before you found out. It was selfish and ridiculous but I didn't know if you'd come home if you knew. I'm sorry. As I said, selfish.'
Hermione smiled. 'Gin, I know you don't believe me when I say that I didn't come back for Ron and Ron alone, but I came back because I was lonely and needed to come back to where I should be. And I don't mind you being selfish, it shows you care and that means a lot.'
...oooOOOooo...
'I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't had as much wine as I know I have.'
'Uh huh. And I'm grieving the fact that because I am not normally allowed to drink more than half a pint of beer at a time when training, I have lost my tolerance to alcohol. I think I need to go home now.'
'Yeah, probably a good idea.'
Both Hermione and Ginny swallowed the last of their drinks and stood. They both wobbled a little and grinned at each other. Ginny snorted and laughed as she made her way out of the pub.
'Ginny!'
Hermione slowly turned round so to not lose her balance and looked to see who had called Ginny's name.
Ginny quickly turned to face Hermione.
'It's Mattie.'
Hermione stared at her and then at the back of her head when Ginny turned back towards the pub.
'Hi, Matt! How long have you been here?'
Mattie made her way through the crowd and the tables and Hermione tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. She couldn't leave, however, because Ginny had grabbed hold of her hand before she could take a step back.
''Bout an hour, I managed to finally get away from work. Absolute nightmare. I don't mind working Saturdays occasionally but not getting out 'til eight takes the piss a bit. Are you not staying? It's only early!'
Hermione tried to stare at the floor but her eyes were drawn to the light brown hair of the woman in front of her, her blue eyes and the few freckles that were scattered across her cheeks.
'Nah, not tonight, I'm back in Wales tomorrow night and I need my sleep. Mattie, there's someone I want to introduce you to.'
Ginny stepped to the side and Hermione hiked a smile onto her face.
'Mattie, this is Hermione Granger, Hermione, Mattie Fergusson.'
Hermione held her hand out to Mattie and Mattie's jaw dropped. Hermione started to withdraw her hand when Mattie grabbed it with both hands.
'Sorry! Hermione, of course. I... I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. I'm sorry if it sounds patronising but I feel like I know you already. I don't of course, can't possibly... but still... again, sorry.'
'Mattie, stop apologising. It's lovely to meet you.'
They let go of each other's hands.
'I'd better get back to the girls, it's my round and they think I'm trying to avoid it. I'll see you soon, Gin. Lovely to meet you, Hermione.'
Mattie gave Ginny a hug and waved at Hermione before Hermione turned and left the pub.
She felt Ginny's presence beside her as she took a few steps towards the middle of the streets.
'I really didn't want to like her,' Hermione said with a sigh.
Ginny chuckled. 'It's quite hard not to, I'm afraid. There's not a bad bone in her body, she always makes an effort with people no matter how boring the conversation is and... well, while this whole book thing's been going on, she's looked after Ron. I don't just mean... well, you know, I mean she kept all the crap from the media away, didn't tell Ron he needed to do anything, just those things he wanted. She encouraged and persuaded on occasion, but only when she knew what was best for Ron more than he knew.'
Hermione's heart sank a little bit further. She could hardly hate someone who had obviously proven herself to be a good person, could she?
'I thought I just said I didn't want to like her!'
Ginny smiled and shrugged. 'Sorry.'
'So how long have they been together?'
'Oh, now you're asking. Let me think... I think they started seeing each other a month or so after the book launch. As I said, she kept him sane during all that hype.'
'So about two and a half years, then.'
'Yeah, about.'
'Do they live together?'
'No, they have their own flats and spend time at both depending on work and the suchlike.'
Hermione nodded. 'How can I know someone so completely and yet not have a clue about any of this.'
Ginny stopped walking and caught Hermione's arm, not letting her walk any further up the street.
'Hermione, I should have told you before now. In my defence I'm away nearly all week and I've been in my own little world. I meant what I said when you phoned the other night, I need to grow up as well. There's more to life than Quidditch and as much as I can't imagine doing anything else at the minute, there will be a day when I want something else to become the centre of my life. I need to start making sure there's something there when that happens. Sorry, I'm rambling, my point is that when I saw Ron I never really saw him with Mattie, I didn't really consider her his girlfriend because I've been waiting for you two to get things sorted. Thought that if just one of you would owl or visit then it would all be okay.'
Hermione looked at her and managed a smile.
'Ginny, this is in no way your fault. I could hardly expect him to not see other people. I hoped he wouldn't but I couldn't expect it. I told you I was being foolishly optimistic to think I would come back and we'd have a nice chat and things would be perfect. There's just a part of me that's a foolish romantic and hoped that would be the way things went.'
'Never stop hoping, Hermione.'
'Well, we'll see about that. I can't live hoping for something that can never be.'
Ginny pulled her into a hug.
'Does her love her, Gin?' Hermione whispered into Ginny's hair.
Ginny pulled back and looked at Hermione.
'He says he does.'
Hermione nodded and turned to walk up the street.
'I'm going back up the hill for a bit, okay? I won't be long.'
Ginny nodded. 'Be careful. I'll see you when you get back.' Ginny apparated away and Hermione started walking through the village to the hill. She could have apparated, but she needed the time to think.
~~~
'Fancy seeing you here.'
She jumped and her eyes found him. He was sat on the rock, long legs dangling and his arms stretched out behind him, holding his weight as he gazed forwards towards the village.
'How was your evening?' he asked.
'Great, thank you. It was brilliant catching up with Ginny. Oh, and I met Mattie, she's lovely.'
'Oh! Yeah she is.'
'I've seen her before, not met her but seen her.'
'Have you?' he took his weight off his hands and put his elbows on his knees. His hands fidgeted.
'Yes.'
She didn't try and carry on the conversation, not really wanting to tell that story. The moment passed and Ron dropped his gaze from her to the rock.
'You stopped writing, Hermione.'
Her stance changed instantly. Her back straightened and she raised her chin.
'You stopped writing, too, Ron. Communication works both ways.'
'Why didn't you come to the book launch? Two years and ten months ago I asked you to be there. I needed you there because you had been the one who had told me the whole book thing was a good idea. You were the one who told me people wanted to hear my words about how that year played out and yet you weren't there! Why?'
Hermione closed her eyes. Apparently she was going to relive that story whether she wanted to or not...
Two years earlier, Right Hand Man Book Launch...
She had never felt so proud of him. Flourish and Blotts was rammed full of people waiting to buy their reserved copy of the book that had been - to some - a very long time coming and they were waiting to see Ron. Ronald Weasley, published author. She made her way through the crowd, excusing herself politely as she did so. People looked at her, recognised her and let her through. When she was near the front of the crowd she spotted him, standing behind a table looking incredibly nervous.
Mattie was stood next to him and beaming at him. He was smiling back at her, but obviously a little uncomfortable. She watched as he turned towards her and his smile widened. He held his arms open to her and she hugged him tightly. She stepped back and then as if she had taken a second to think about it, stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. The kiss lingered and when she pulled back she blushed. She said a few words and the both of them laughed and smiled with happiness.
It was like someone had reached into her chest and put an icy hand around her heart. She looked at him and he looked relaxed and calm and as if he could take on the world, which was, in a way, what he was about to do. He started to turn back towards the crowd who were becoming impatient and she turned and made her way back towards the door as quickly as possible.
She couldn't help the few tears that fell from her eyes as she walked and it was all she could do to stop herself turning back around and confronting him. But this was not the time or the place. Today was Ron's day, and she wouldn't ruin it for him. He had other people who were better at taking care of him than she was and people who were there for him all the time. She left before she needed someone to take care of her.
'I was there, Ron,' she whispered, toeing the grass with her shoe. 'Of course I was there.'
He frowned and jumped down off the rock.
'But I...'
'Mattie was there for you, you didn't need me.'
She watched as his face turned angry. 'I didn't need you? Hermione I needed you there to tell me that I had done everything right, that I had done Harry and you proud with what I had written. That I had done everyone who died in that war proud with what I had written, that I had done your idea proud!'
He had walked towards her while he spoke and she desperately wanted to hold him and tell him that he had done everyone proud with his account of the year of Voldemort's reign over the Wizarding Community, but she didn't.
'Ron, I saw you and Mattie together. She... calmed you down and told you everything you needed to know. You were relaxed, confident and ready to take on everyone who stood in front of you that day. I was a distant thought, Ron, that's why I left. But know this, Ron, if you ever ask me to go anywhere, I'll be there in a second.'
'But you left!'
'And you didn't bother to find out why.'
His face fell and he walked back to the rock and perched against it.
'I thought I wasn't good enough, that you'd realised I wasn't good enough. I didn't need that in a letter. I didn't need to have my faults laid out in writing.'
Hermione smiled and shook her head. She raised her head to Ron and her expression turned to a determined glare.
'Do you remember the day you came to me, Ron, not having a clue what you wanted to do with the rest of your life? You sat in front of me in the kitchen at the Burrow and you lamented that everyone you knew was organising themselves and Had A Plan! You took your battered notebook out of your pocket, threw it on the table and said that it was only because of your notebook and your entries about your days that you knew you were still living.
'I took the letter I'd got that morning from the Prophet begging me to write them some entries about the past year for the paper and I told you that you should do it. You laughed at me and told me I was insane and that you could never do something like that and you weren't sure you wanted to do something like that for the hundreds of reasons there were. But I looked at you and reminded you that when we'd talked about that past year, you were so eloquent and dedicated to those memories because everything we did deserved to be remembered. I knew you were the one to do this. They weren't going to stop hassling us about it and you were the person who should tell our story, exactly the way it happened, to anyone who wanted to read about it.'
He started kicking the rock with his shoe.
'Everyone wants more, though, now. They want more about school and about Harry and Voldemort and I can't give it to them. I don't have any more words and I don't have the drive to get me anywhere. I made a promise to the publisher that there would be more and I don't have it. I don't... have it...'
Hermione took the few steps to the rock and perched onto it next to Ron.
'When we were at school and I was obsessed with getting the House Elves equal rights and I came to you and asked you if everything I was doing was pointless, you looked at me and said, that my determination for doing what was right was the most important thing I had and you have no idea how those words got me through so much.
'You're passion about telling the truthful story about everything we did and our journey and our fight and everyone else's fight is what drives you, Ron... and your determination for doing what is right is the most important thing you have. Go and tell the story of oppression and hardship and finding friendship during the most difficult of times. I had faith in you then, Ron and I have faith in you now. I always will do. Nothing can ever change that.'
Ron turned to look at her and she met his eyes. He smiled at her and took her hand and kissed the back of it.
'Can I get my hello hug, now?' she asked quietly.
He smiled and pulled her hand so she had to stand. He followed and took her in his arms.
She knew she shouldn't be breathing him in as if he was the oxygen her body needed, knew she shouldn't try and count the ribs she could feel beneath her fingers, knew she shouldn't be trying to press every possible inch of herself into him and knew she should be stepping back and walking away from him.
But still she held onto him and it was only when she fell asleep that night that she truly let go.
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Chapter Warnings: Angst
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 5,817
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Please to see previous Author's Note. Ta. :D
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Leaning Slightly to the Left
Revelations
After everything had been sorted, it dawned on her that things should have been harder to organise. Her boss should have objected a little more that she wanted to transfer back to England. The Ministry should have had to have been persuaded to buy her flat back at such short notice, and it should have taken a while for the Ministry to find a place for her back in the Department of Magical Law. But it didn't. Everything went smoothly, quickly and easily and it was only in the evening as she packed up her things that the worry that went with things going too smoothly set in.
She knew she shouldn't be bothered that things went to plan, but with her history, she could hardly be thought ill of for being a little pessimistic.
The phone call with Ginny had been short and sweet. Ginny knew she was going back home, she had opened the conversation with 'So when do you leave?' to which the reply was, 'as soon as I can get things sorted,'. The rest of the conversation had comprised of logistics, times and offers of temporary accommodation. Hermione was grateful, she had of course, worried a little about where she was going to stay but knew she could sleep at The Leaky Cauldron until she had something sorted.
That contingency plan wasn't needed because Ginny had offered her spare room to Hermione and she had accepted. She felt a little guilty. She knew Ginny was giving up her free time and her one 'game off' a season to help her, but that's what she needed: help.
She rarely admitted she needed help, but this was one time she could hardly deny it. Moving to Paris had been simple and easy. No one there knew her. They knew of her, of course they did, and they thought they knew more about her thanks to Right Hand Man being published, but they didn't hassle her, didn't know everything and left her to build her new life in a foreign city. She had a few friends from work, ones that took her out occasionally and tried to get her out more frequently than she wanted, but she had to admit they were easy to leave behind.
As much as going back home held more trouble than she knew she could fathom at the minute, she didn't care. Nothing compared to home. As much as she'd been trying to kid herself for the past four years that it wasn't the case, she knew she had been lying to herself for every single one of those days. So that's why she needed her best friend to help her get herself sorted and strong before the barrage of emotion, hurt, confusion and any other bad thing she had left behind could hit her.
Had she run away when things got tough? Of course she had. She had come out with miles and miles of words that explained the different reasons why she should move to France and carry on her career there, but really it came down to the fact that she just needed to get away from it all.
So many times throughout the last four years she had tried to work out why things couldn't work out the way she wanted them to, the way they were supposed to, but she never found an answer and more often than not just got upset over the not knowing and frustration in herself and... him.
As she packed her final few things in her small suitcase and made sure she had all the official documents she needed to hand in to the French Ministry before she left (the documents agreeing the sale of her flat to the British Ministry, instructions to pay any outstanding bills from her vault at Gringott's, and her official letter of resignation from her post at the French Ministry) she had an overwhelming feeling of calm. She couldn't help be a little anxious about the next few hours and everything she had to get sorted but she knew she was doing the right thing. She had learned to trust her gut instinct over the years and she was happy that this was the right decision.
With one last look around her now empty flat - her removals portkey had left thirty minutes previously - she once more checked that she had everything she needed to hand and walked to the front door. She put her key on the tiny shelf next to the front door that had given her more than the occasional bruise throughout her time there and made sure the door would lock when she closed it.
She looked through the flat and caught one last look at the window seat where she had sat for hours thinking about everything and nothing, and where she knew she had made the decision to change the way her life was going.
Time to lean to the right.
...oooOOOooo...
She quickly emptied her suitcase in Ginny's spare room and she hauled the three boxes worth of stuff she needed immediately into her room and the lounge.
'I've dotted a few of your things around the lounge, added your weird tea and fancy bottle opener to the kitchen, but I've left the rest of your stuff, namely this massive box here which I can only imagine houses your books, to you. I'd never even dare try and organise your books. More than my life's worth.'
She smiled. 'This is about a tenth of them, I wouldn't make you have the whole lot in your flat. That would be ridiculous.'
Ginny smiled. 'Honestly I wouldn't mind. Sometimes I feel like I should make more of an effort with this place but considering I spend most of the week in Wales and most of the weekend when I'm not playing with Harry, there doesn't seem a great deal of point.' She shrugged.
Hermione gave a half smile. 'I like it here, I know it sounds weird but I feel more at home here than I did in my flat. I loved it, but maybe I just loved the idea of what it represented more than what it was.'
Ginny walked over to her and hugged her. Hermione clung tightly to Ginny, knowing this was one of the reasons why she needed to come home. Having her best friend on the end of the phone was one thing, but being able to be comforted by her like this was something she had missed.
'I want you to treat this place like it's your own, okay? Like I said, I'm hardly here when I'm training so consider this your flat as much as mine.'
Hermione nodded. 'Thanks, Gin, that means... a lot.'
Ginny nodded and Hermione noticed she looked a little uncomfortable.
'Look, Gin, I'm sorry if I've put you in an awkward position, I never meant for you to feel-.'
'Stop that, Hermione. I mean it. I do not feel awkward about you living here and I do not feel awkward about helping you settle in. I accept that there may be the odd awkward situation in the future but there's not a great deal I can do about that and I'd rather have you here than across the Channel. I just... I need to talk to you about something, but I have to go and see how the girls are getting on. It should be an easy win for them but there have been a couple of issues in training so I'm a little nervous.'
'I'm sorry you're here and not at the game, Gin.'
'I'm not. We've got some well juicy games coming up and I'd rather sit this one out then any of them, besides, Jayne needs the experience and she'll get a good game.'
Hermione nodded. 'Okay, well I think I'll get these sorted.' She tapped the box of books with her wand and the lid fell to the floor. Her eyes settled on the book on the top and a surge of need hit her stomach. There was of course more than one reason why she had decided to come back home but there was one main reason and she couldn't wait to see him.
Ginny reached down and picked up the most battered copy of Right Hand Man and smiled.
'When was the last time you bought a copy?'
Hermione thought for a second. 'Um, a few months ago, I think. I was walking past the local school as I was going home from town and there was a jumble sale of sorts. It was sitting there and it was selling for practically nothing so I bought it. Second French version I have.'
'I still find it hard to believe my brother actually wrote this, never mind the fact that someone published it in the country and then around the world. Of all the things I imagined Ron doing, this didn't even cross my mind. Anyway, I'll leave you unpacking. Do you want to meet in the The Leaky for dinner? We can talk then.'
Hermione nodded. 'Yeah, sounds perfect, my treat, though, as a thank you, although dinner doesn't quite cover the thank you I owe you.'
'Shush! I'll let you pay for dinner if you stop with the thank you, crap. You'd do the same for me. Six okay?'
'Perfect. See you there.'
Hermione started unloading the books onto the small set of bookshelves that Ginny had cleared in the spare room. It was ridiculous that just having her books in her room made her feel at home and comforted but it was how she felt, how she would always feel.
She finished organising her books and checked how much time she had before she said she would meet Ginny. She had a couple of hours and wanted to go somewhere first so she showered, dressed and even made herself up a little. It had been a long time since she had taken this much time over her appearance but decided it was some sort of an occasion so she should make some sort of an effort.
...oooOOOooo...
She was in no way hiding. She just didn't really want to be seen. She was calm and peaceful, and felt a sense that anything was possible and that things were going to be okay. She knew she was being optimistic and possibly naive but she found it hard to care. She had spent a year of her life coming up here to think, to talk to herself and to talk to Ron...
She knew she had only been home hours but she was dying to see him. Something had gone wrong along the way and she was determined to fix it.
Because she needed him. There was no two ways about it. The main reason why she had come home was because of him. She just wasn't quite ready to admit it, yet. She was sitting in 'her spot' in front of the large rock on the small hill that overlooked the village and the sun was starting to set. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. She couldn't believe how calm she felt.
'Beautiful, isn't it?'
She jumped and her heart raced and she opened her eyes and drank the sight of him in.
'Sorry,' he said with a smirk that made her heart leap into her mouth and then fall into her shoes. She rose to her feet and brushed off her trousers.
'Um, it's okay, I was just...'
She could feel herself going red and she begged herself to calm down. Her body refused to do as she asked.
'Taking it all in?' Ron replied for her.
'Yeah,' she replied, looking out over the town. 'It still manages to calm me down even after all this time...'
'All this time.'
She made herself look at him, take in the way his hands were buried in his jeans pockets, the way his shoulders were shrugged trying to fight off the cold breeze, the way his hair was as messy as the last time she saw it and he looked... comfortable in himself. This made her heart soar more than anything.
'It's been a while, I suppose,' she said quietly, walking slowly towards him.
'Two years is a bit longer than a while, Hermione.'
She could detect the smallest hint of anger in his voice, but she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or the situation.
'So, you're back now?' he asked quietly, lifting his head to look at her.
She nodded and looked at him once more. She yearned to hold him, to have her fingers in his hair and feel his in hers. She wanted him to tell her that it would all be okay and she started towards him again.
'I missed you so much, Ron.'
She held her arms out to him and expected him to walk into them but he held up his hands and backed away. Her arms dropped along with the smile on her face.
'I have someone,' he said in somewhat of a rush.
The words hit her as if they were physical blows to her body.
'I'm... I'm with someone...' he said, quieter this time, almost apologetically.
She felt tears burn her eyes but she refused to let them fall.
'Oh... I mean, that's... that's... good for you, Ron.'
He nodded but the action wasn't certain.
She tried to think of something to say to break the silence that was suffocating her.
'I, er... I need to go. Ginny's expecting me.' She chanced a look at Ron and he nodded his head. 'I'll see you... see you around, Ron.'
'Yeah,' he murmured.
She wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm against the strengthening breeze.
'Will you be okay getting down?'
She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand and a simple 'I'll be fine'.
'Yeah,' she muttered to herself. 'I'll be fine.'
...oooOOOooo...
'Merlin above that was close! Too close if truth be told. We should have walked that match but we only managed to win by 140 points.'
Hermione had jumped when Ginny had sat down heavily opposite her in the booth.
'Only 140 points?' Hermione asked, a small smile working its way onto her face. Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'My point is, we were behind before the snitch was caught. That shouldn't have happened. We should have been ahead by at least seventy points but we were trailing! I'm just grateful Megan was on top form and got the Snitch before it could get any worse.'
'Was Jayne okay?'
'She was… okay.'
'But…'
'But… it's like she just didn't grasp the opportunity! This was her first start for the Harpies and… to be honest, she played better when she had to come on as a substitute last week for what ended up being the last five minutes because Leah had been knocked unconscious!'
'Wait, you're allowed substitutes in Quidditch? Since when?'
Ginny waved away her question and took a pull of the pint of beer that was sat in front of her.
'Friendly match, you can bend the rules a little, give inexperienced players a run out.'
'Ah, okay. So she played better as a substitute when she should have relished the chance to start in the first team.'
'Exactly! Who wouldn't?'
'Maybe someone who was very scared about replacing the brilliant Ginevra Weasley and who knew her every move would be scrutinised. You're a hard act to follow, Gin. Last week I'm guessing Gwenog was just glad to have someone else out there to make up the full team - you can't sit there and deny the fact that 'friendlies' are anything but - so she could get another win under her belt. Maybe Jayne just did what she had to and wasn't pressured because she was better than having no one out there.'
Ginny stared at her, thoughtfully.
'Hmm, maybe. Anyway, enough talk about Quidditch. Did they have the Steak on?'
Hermione nodded. 'I ordered you the Steak medium-rare and I am having the chicken.'
'Cool.'
'So,' Hermione started while staring resolutely into her large glass of white wine. 'Is the thing you wanted to talk about the fact that Ron is seeing someone?'
Ginny's face twisted as if she had been physically hurt.
'Shit. Sorry, Hermione, I wanted to tell you so I could... I dunno, soften the blow, maybe? I don't mean to be patronising, it's just I thought I'd be the best person to do it. Apparently someone beat me to it.'
'Yes, Ron did.'
Ginny nearly choked on her beer.
'Oh shit. What happened?'
'You know the hill just outside the village?'
'The one with the rock where you spent most of our seventh year? Yeah, I know it.' Ginny smiled and rolled her eyes.
'I was just sitting and revelling in the fact that I was home and I was being optimistic to the point of foolishness thinking that everything was just going to fall into place and be perfect and then... then Ron arrived. I was nervous and... flustered and everything I didn't want to be when I finally saw him and we talked. Awkwardly. Very awkwardly. He seemed... distant and maybe even a little angry about ... something. Anyway, I told him I'd missed him, went to hug him and he stepped back and blurted out that he had someone.'
She took a sip of her wine and looked at Ginny. Ginny's expression made her snort her wine.
'He could have hugged you! Just because he's seeing someone doesn't mean he can't touch another woman! And it's you, Hermione. It's you and it's him and he's... ugh! So, clueless sometimes!'
Hermione smiled and touched Ginny's hand.
'I thank you for getting indignant on my behalf, but it's probably because it's me and him that's there's a problem. And if I'm honest before the non-hug I thought he looked self assured and confident. Not cocky in any way, Ron's incapable of being cocky... well, he was last time I looked. Unless that's changed while I've not been here, but I doubt it. Anyway, like I said, thank you, but it's fine. Really.'
'Really. It's not. He-... ugh, you know what? Doesn't matter. So, how are... you?'
Hermione shrugged.
'Honestly I don't know. I think I'm okay, I just... I didn't come home for Ron, I came home-.'
'Hermione, I didn't believe you the first time you said that to me and I don't believe it now.'
'Then why didn't you warn me that Ron was seeing someone else?'
She knew that her situation was in no way Ginny's fault and she hadn't meant to sound accusatory but her frustration bubbled over.
'Sorry. I-.'
'I didn't tell you because...' she sighed, 'because there's a part of me that doesn't believe you aren't meant to be together. Don't get me wrong, Mattie's a lovely girl-.'
'So, she's called Mattie, is she?' Hermione asked before staring into her wine again.
'Matilda, Mattie, Matt, she doesn't mind what you call her. Anyway, she is, she's lovely and you can tell she loves Ron more than anything... but there's just a part of me that's rooting for my brother and my best friend to get their arses into gear and get on with what you should have got on with years ago. And if I'm honest I wanted you to come home, before you found out. It was selfish and ridiculous but I didn't know if you'd come home if you knew. I'm sorry. As I said, selfish.'
Hermione smiled. 'Gin, I know you don't believe me when I say that I didn't come back for Ron and Ron alone, but I came back because I was lonely and needed to come back to where I should be. And I don't mind you being selfish, it shows you care and that means a lot.'
...oooOOOooo...
'I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't had as much wine as I know I have.'
'Uh huh. And I'm grieving the fact that because I am not normally allowed to drink more than half a pint of beer at a time when training, I have lost my tolerance to alcohol. I think I need to go home now.'
'Yeah, probably a good idea.'
Both Hermione and Ginny swallowed the last of their drinks and stood. They both wobbled a little and grinned at each other. Ginny snorted and laughed as she made her way out of the pub.
'Ginny!'
Hermione slowly turned round so to not lose her balance and looked to see who had called Ginny's name.
Ginny quickly turned to face Hermione.
'It's Mattie.'
Hermione stared at her and then at the back of her head when Ginny turned back towards the pub.
'Hi, Matt! How long have you been here?'
Mattie made her way through the crowd and the tables and Hermione tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. She couldn't leave, however, because Ginny had grabbed hold of her hand before she could take a step back.
''Bout an hour, I managed to finally get away from work. Absolute nightmare. I don't mind working Saturdays occasionally but not getting out 'til eight takes the piss a bit. Are you not staying? It's only early!'
Hermione tried to stare at the floor but her eyes were drawn to the light brown hair of the woman in front of her, her blue eyes and the few freckles that were scattered across her cheeks.
'Nah, not tonight, I'm back in Wales tomorrow night and I need my sleep. Mattie, there's someone I want to introduce you to.'
Ginny stepped to the side and Hermione hiked a smile onto her face.
'Mattie, this is Hermione Granger, Hermione, Mattie Fergusson.'
Hermione held her hand out to Mattie and Mattie's jaw dropped. Hermione started to withdraw her hand when Mattie grabbed it with both hands.
'Sorry! Hermione, of course. I... I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. I'm sorry if it sounds patronising but I feel like I know you already. I don't of course, can't possibly... but still... again, sorry.'
'Mattie, stop apologising. It's lovely to meet you.'
They let go of each other's hands.
'I'd better get back to the girls, it's my round and they think I'm trying to avoid it. I'll see you soon, Gin. Lovely to meet you, Hermione.'
Mattie gave Ginny a hug and waved at Hermione before Hermione turned and left the pub.
She felt Ginny's presence beside her as she took a few steps towards the middle of the streets.
'I really didn't want to like her,' Hermione said with a sigh.
Ginny chuckled. 'It's quite hard not to, I'm afraid. There's not a bad bone in her body, she always makes an effort with people no matter how boring the conversation is and... well, while this whole book thing's been going on, she's looked after Ron. I don't just mean... well, you know, I mean she kept all the crap from the media away, didn't tell Ron he needed to do anything, just those things he wanted. She encouraged and persuaded on occasion, but only when she knew what was best for Ron more than he knew.'
Hermione's heart sank a little bit further. She could hardly hate someone who had obviously proven herself to be a good person, could she?
'I thought I just said I didn't want to like her!'
Ginny smiled and shrugged. 'Sorry.'
'So how long have they been together?'
'Oh, now you're asking. Let me think... I think they started seeing each other a month or so after the book launch. As I said, she kept him sane during all that hype.'
'So about two and a half years, then.'
'Yeah, about.'
'Do they live together?'
'No, they have their own flats and spend time at both depending on work and the suchlike.'
Hermione nodded. 'How can I know someone so completely and yet not have a clue about any of this.'
Ginny stopped walking and caught Hermione's arm, not letting her walk any further up the street.
'Hermione, I should have told you before now. In my defence I'm away nearly all week and I've been in my own little world. I meant what I said when you phoned the other night, I need to grow up as well. There's more to life than Quidditch and as much as I can't imagine doing anything else at the minute, there will be a day when I want something else to become the centre of my life. I need to start making sure there's something there when that happens. Sorry, I'm rambling, my point is that when I saw Ron I never really saw him with Mattie, I didn't really consider her his girlfriend because I've been waiting for you two to get things sorted. Thought that if just one of you would owl or visit then it would all be okay.'
Hermione looked at her and managed a smile.
'Ginny, this is in no way your fault. I could hardly expect him to not see other people. I hoped he wouldn't but I couldn't expect it. I told you I was being foolishly optimistic to think I would come back and we'd have a nice chat and things would be perfect. There's just a part of me that's a foolish romantic and hoped that would be the way things went.'
'Never stop hoping, Hermione.'
'Well, we'll see about that. I can't live hoping for something that can never be.'
Ginny pulled her into a hug.
'Does her love her, Gin?' Hermione whispered into Ginny's hair.
Ginny pulled back and looked at Hermione.
'He says he does.'
Hermione nodded and turned to walk up the street.
'I'm going back up the hill for a bit, okay? I won't be long.'
Ginny nodded. 'Be careful. I'll see you when you get back.' Ginny apparated away and Hermione started walking through the village to the hill. She could have apparated, but she needed the time to think.
~~~
'Fancy seeing you here.'
She jumped and her eyes found him. He was sat on the rock, long legs dangling and his arms stretched out behind him, holding his weight as he gazed forwards towards the village.
'How was your evening?' he asked.
'Great, thank you. It was brilliant catching up with Ginny. Oh, and I met Mattie, she's lovely.'
'Oh! Yeah she is.'
'I've seen her before, not met her but seen her.'
'Have you?' he took his weight off his hands and put his elbows on his knees. His hands fidgeted.
'Yes.'
She didn't try and carry on the conversation, not really wanting to tell that story. The moment passed and Ron dropped his gaze from her to the rock.
'You stopped writing, Hermione.'
Her stance changed instantly. Her back straightened and she raised her chin.
'You stopped writing, too, Ron. Communication works both ways.'
'Why didn't you come to the book launch? Two years and ten months ago I asked you to be there. I needed you there because you had been the one who had told me the whole book thing was a good idea. You were the one who told me people wanted to hear my words about how that year played out and yet you weren't there! Why?'
Hermione closed her eyes. Apparently she was going to relive that story whether she wanted to or not...
Two years earlier, Right Hand Man Book Launch...
She had never felt so proud of him. Flourish and Blotts was rammed full of people waiting to buy their reserved copy of the book that had been - to some - a very long time coming and they were waiting to see Ron. Ronald Weasley, published author. She made her way through the crowd, excusing herself politely as she did so. People looked at her, recognised her and let her through. When she was near the front of the crowd she spotted him, standing behind a table looking incredibly nervous.
Mattie was stood next to him and beaming at him. He was smiling back at her, but obviously a little uncomfortable. She watched as he turned towards her and his smile widened. He held his arms open to her and she hugged him tightly. She stepped back and then as if she had taken a second to think about it, stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. The kiss lingered and when she pulled back she blushed. She said a few words and the both of them laughed and smiled with happiness.
It was like someone had reached into her chest and put an icy hand around her heart. She looked at him and he looked relaxed and calm and as if he could take on the world, which was, in a way, what he was about to do. He started to turn back towards the crowd who were becoming impatient and she turned and made her way back towards the door as quickly as possible.
She couldn't help the few tears that fell from her eyes as she walked and it was all she could do to stop herself turning back around and confronting him. But this was not the time or the place. Today was Ron's day, and she wouldn't ruin it for him. He had other people who were better at taking care of him than she was and people who were there for him all the time. She left before she needed someone to take care of her.
'I was there, Ron,' she whispered, toeing the grass with her shoe. 'Of course I was there.'
He frowned and jumped down off the rock.
'But I...'
'Mattie was there for you, you didn't need me.'
She watched as his face turned angry. 'I didn't need you? Hermione I needed you there to tell me that I had done everything right, that I had done Harry and you proud with what I had written. That I had done everyone who died in that war proud with what I had written, that I had done your idea proud!'
He had walked towards her while he spoke and she desperately wanted to hold him and tell him that he had done everyone proud with his account of the year of Voldemort's reign over the Wizarding Community, but she didn't.
'Ron, I saw you and Mattie together. She... calmed you down and told you everything you needed to know. You were relaxed, confident and ready to take on everyone who stood in front of you that day. I was a distant thought, Ron, that's why I left. But know this, Ron, if you ever ask me to go anywhere, I'll be there in a second.'
'But you left!'
'And you didn't bother to find out why.'
His face fell and he walked back to the rock and perched against it.
'I thought I wasn't good enough, that you'd realised I wasn't good enough. I didn't need that in a letter. I didn't need to have my faults laid out in writing.'
Hermione smiled and shook her head. She raised her head to Ron and her expression turned to a determined glare.
'Do you remember the day you came to me, Ron, not having a clue what you wanted to do with the rest of your life? You sat in front of me in the kitchen at the Burrow and you lamented that everyone you knew was organising themselves and Had A Plan! You took your battered notebook out of your pocket, threw it on the table and said that it was only because of your notebook and your entries about your days that you knew you were still living.
'I took the letter I'd got that morning from the Prophet begging me to write them some entries about the past year for the paper and I told you that you should do it. You laughed at me and told me I was insane and that you could never do something like that and you weren't sure you wanted to do something like that for the hundreds of reasons there were. But I looked at you and reminded you that when we'd talked about that past year, you were so eloquent and dedicated to those memories because everything we did deserved to be remembered. I knew you were the one to do this. They weren't going to stop hassling us about it and you were the person who should tell our story, exactly the way it happened, to anyone who wanted to read about it.'
He started kicking the rock with his shoe.
'Everyone wants more, though, now. They want more about school and about Harry and Voldemort and I can't give it to them. I don't have any more words and I don't have the drive to get me anywhere. I made a promise to the publisher that there would be more and I don't have it. I don't... have it...'
Hermione took the few steps to the rock and perched onto it next to Ron.
'When we were at school and I was obsessed with getting the House Elves equal rights and I came to you and asked you if everything I was doing was pointless, you looked at me and said, that my determination for doing what was right was the most important thing I had and you have no idea how those words got me through so much.
'You're passion about telling the truthful story about everything we did and our journey and our fight and everyone else's fight is what drives you, Ron... and your determination for doing what is right is the most important thing you have. Go and tell the story of oppression and hardship and finding friendship during the most difficult of times. I had faith in you then, Ron and I have faith in you now. I always will do. Nothing can ever change that.'
Ron turned to look at her and she met his eyes. He smiled at her and took her hand and kissed the back of it.
'Can I get my hello hug, now?' she asked quietly.
He smiled and pulled her hand so she had to stand. He followed and took her in his arms.
She knew she shouldn't be breathing him in as if he was the oxygen her body needed, knew she shouldn't try and count the ribs she could feel beneath her fingers, knew she shouldn't be trying to press every possible inch of herself into him and knew she should be stepping back and walking away from him.
But still she held onto him and it was only when she fell asleep that night that she truly let go.