Jan. 23, 2007 Life and Death on Jan. 20, 2007
Mathew Jacob- 17 inches long and 4 pounds 1.4 oz
I would just like to start by saying I was going to sleep all day on the 20th, since it is the day I lost my first son Jr.
Around 10am I woke up to Michael playing WoW and my father on his exercise bike. I laid in bed feeling as though something wasn’t right. I coughed--and thought I peed myself wonderful, then I stood up----water was pouring out of me, soaking me, the floor, my clothes. I said “um,,,my--my---my water broke”. My father jerked his head around as I ran to the bathroom, got new clothes on and we went to the hospital- after I put a hand towel in-between my legs to try to not soak through my clothes again. I was exactly 33 weeks pregnant. At the hospital they knew right off the bat that I had broken my water. So they took me to my room, I was 2 cent dilated and the gush from my waters wasn’t easing up. I was given pitocin and my contractions got even worse that what they already were. They went and got the guy to give me my epidural……..
He told me the risks said it was extremely rare to get blood back in the catheter that there was a bunch of tiny vessels and that they hardly ever find one……well not with me. They tried three times to give me the epidural. Three times they numbed my back, stuck the catheter in and got blood in return. I was told there was nothing else they could do, that once again I was doing it natural.
After that and the fact of the nurse trying twice to get an iv in my arm, now they were having trouble keeping Mathew on the monitor and wanted to put an internal one in. They did an exam only to find that he had moved higher into my womb - so they did an ultrasound. After the fast ultrasound and them realizing every time they did an exam on me I would bleed more and more they gave me an oxygen mask to wear because not only was I bleeding a lot but now there was dips in Mathew’s heartbeat. The ultrasound showed Mathew had moved his head to the side a little, for 15 very painful minutes they tried to manually turn him back into the right position. Now, I am screaming in pain. After 15 minutes they leave the room……….then run back in….out goes my bed with me on it as they say “you are going for an emergency c-section”
Mike got to scrub in and be in the O.R. with me. So now I am in the O.R. they give me a spinal and start cutting. The bed was literally shaking and jerking by how rough they were with my stomach. I started feeling very sick…. The doctor told Mike a little after 4pm to look down at his baby of course I couldn’t see anything. I heard him cry…..but I didn’t see him until they brought him over for Mike to hold him before taking him to the NICU even then I only saw him for a minute or so. Once he was gone I started vomiting. By this point I am falling in and out of sleep. I managed to remind them though before I went completely out to give me a tubal. Then they stapled me back together with 15 cold staples.
Around 2am I woke up and got to go downstairs and see my little boy. My stomach felt like someone beat me with a hammer. I couldn’t get out of bed without a nurse helping me and three different powerful pain killers. I finally got to hold Mathew Jan 21 for the first time. I also got to feed him a small amount by mouth. I still feel horrible and my body is now swollen to the point that I feel I could bust open.
Today he might need to go under the jaundice light, which if that is the only thing we have to worry about then we are truly lucky. The little man is not on oxygen anymore he did have a nose tube in on the lowest setting but not anymore. The only challenges we see right now is him taking a bottle ---which he shows good signs he will do fine and him gaining weight. When I fed him it made me so happy because he is only 33 weeks, he was tired and comfy in my arms and spitting it up a lot but now he loves eating.
So on one of the worst days I live through every year-the death of my son, my second son and last child was born.
Jan. 23, 2007
I have fed Mathew about 5 times now. He doesn’t eat a whole lot yet because he is little but the bit he gets he loves. I can barely keep up with him on breast milk. I may get to leave today, if so then today I will have the staples removed. It is 4am ------I am so tired. But I can’t go to sleep yet because I have to pump. Michael left me yesterday around 3pm to go home. He starts his new job today. But I need to go get this baby some food.
I would just like to start by saying I was going to sleep all day on the 20th, since it is the day I lost my first son Jr.
Around 10am I woke up to Michael playing WoW and my father on his exercise bike. I laid in bed feeling as though something wasn’t right. I coughed--and thought I peed myself wonderful, then I stood up----water was pouring out of me, soaking me, the floor, my clothes. I said “um,,,my--my---my water broke”. My father jerked his head around as I ran to the bathroom, got new clothes on and we went to the hospital- after I put a hand towel in-between my legs to try to not soak through my clothes again. I was exactly 33 weeks pregnant. At the hospital they knew right off the bat that I had broken my water. So they took me to my room, I was 2 cent dilated and the gush from my waters wasn’t easing up. I was given pitocin and my contractions got even worse that what they already were. They went and got the guy to give me my epidural……..
He told me the risks said it was extremely rare to get blood back in the catheter that there was a bunch of tiny vessels and that they hardly ever find one……well not with me. They tried three times to give me the epidural. Three times they numbed my back, stuck the catheter in and got blood in return. I was told there was nothing else they could do, that once again I was doing it natural.
After that and the fact of the nurse trying twice to get an iv in my arm, now they were having trouble keeping Mathew on the monitor and wanted to put an internal one in. They did an exam only to find that he had moved higher into my womb - so they did an ultrasound. After the fast ultrasound and them realizing every time they did an exam on me I would bleed more and more they gave me an oxygen mask to wear because not only was I bleeding a lot but now there was dips in Mathew’s heartbeat. The ultrasound showed Mathew had moved his head to the side a little, for 15 very painful minutes they tried to manually turn him back into the right position. Now, I am screaming in pain. After 15 minutes they leave the room……….then run back in….out goes my bed with me on it as they say “you are going for an emergency c-section”
Mike got to scrub in and be in the O.R. with me. So now I am in the O.R. they give me a spinal and start cutting. The bed was literally shaking and jerking by how rough they were with my stomach. I started feeling very sick…. The doctor told Mike a little after 4pm to look down at his baby of course I couldn’t see anything. I heard him cry…..but I didn’t see him until they brought him over for Mike to hold him before taking him to the NICU even then I only saw him for a minute or so. Once he was gone I started vomiting. By this point I am falling in and out of sleep. I managed to remind them though before I went completely out to give me a tubal. Then they stapled me back together with 15 cold staples.
Around 2am I woke up and got to go downstairs and see my little boy. My stomach felt like someone beat me with a hammer. I couldn’t get out of bed without a nurse helping me and three different powerful pain killers. I finally got to hold Mathew Jan 21 for the first time. I also got to feed him a small amount by mouth. I still feel horrible and my body is now swollen to the point that I feel I could bust open.
Today he might need to go under the jaundice light, which if that is the only thing we have to worry about then we are truly lucky. The little man is not on oxygen anymore he did have a nose tube in on the lowest setting but not anymore. The only challenges we see right now is him taking a bottle ---which he shows good signs he will do fine and him gaining weight. When I fed him it made me so happy because he is only 33 weeks, he was tired and comfy in my arms and spitting it up a lot but now he loves eating.
So on one of the worst days I live through every year-the death of my son, my second son and last child was born.
Jan. 23, 2007
I have fed Mathew about 5 times now. He doesn’t eat a whole lot yet because he is little but the bit he gets he loves. I can barely keep up with him on breast milk. I may get to leave today, if so then today I will have the staples removed. It is 4am ------I am so tired. But I can’t go to sleep yet because I have to pump. Michael left me yesterday around 3pm to go home. He starts his new job today. But I need to go get this baby some food.