everything's changing
Today I've been in a very weird state of emotions. I can and cannot place my finger on it. My emotions are mixed, and I've just entered this process of evaluating and organizing them. Nostalgia. Happiness. Sadness. Courage. Timidity. Fear. Ambition. Freedom. Confusion. Thats how I feel. I've finally decided on SUNY New Paltz for college. About an hour and a half away upstate in the scenic mountains. This college decision was a very hard decision. I was torn between remaining in my comfort or allowing myself to challenge my everyday norms. I figured that its healthier for me to do something like this. More independent. I need to meet new people and live somewhere new, even if that means it will be difficult at first.
Its more the transition in my own life that I'm uneasy about. Come the end of August, I'll have to leave everything behind. My entire childhood, and everything I've had and kept around me. And then its like this whole new territory for me. A fresh look at life, at people, at the world. Everything thats happened to me for the past 18 years, although it remains with me, will be behind me, and the next 4 years will lie ahead. Its frightening and exciting all at once.
Well, this is the future I suppose. My semi-constructed one in the least. I'm hoping for the best.
Its more the transition in my own life that I'm uneasy about. Come the end of August, I'll have to leave everything behind. My entire childhood, and everything I've had and kept around me. And then its like this whole new territory for me. A fresh look at life, at people, at the world. Everything thats happened to me for the past 18 years, although it remains with me, will be behind me, and the next 4 years will lie ahead. Its frightening and exciting all at once.
Well, this is the future I suppose. My semi-constructed one in the least. I'm hoping for the best.