a college day without rak

[steness]

i got up as normal then i realised i still was completely exhausted so i dragged myself thro my morning routine, just about, and came into college. the nite before rak had told me that she probaly wouldnt be in but i thought id just check under the stairs .. just incase .. she wasnt there ... i waited there up until the start of college .. just incase my baby turned up but unfortunatly no. i went to my lesson .. felt crap thought about rak lots .. didnt help that my computing teacher told me i looked like i need to get some sleep... came down from my lesson (checked under the stairs .. no rak) went to a stuipd "leaving talk" .. u no the usual .. "you've been such a great year to have .. etc" went back to the social area and talked to ppl and txted rak to make sure she was ok.. felt really bad and tired, almost fell asleep during lunchtime .. just about woke up for maths luckily i didnt have to stay back for the revison class 2nite because i would have fallen asleep in it. thought about rak more in maths
i drove home did as much work as i could muster (just incase rak would let me come round and see her) and then fell asleep on the sofa. woke up .. and felt like i should still be asleep ... grr wots wrong with me .. why do i have no energy
... why do i lying on my bed and fall into the deepest darkest sleep ive ever had and yet wake up in the morning sweating and still feeling exhausted