Dazed and Confussed....
Been awhile hasn't it.....About 2 months, I didn't post a message in April probably because I go through live journal phases where I don't care about it. But I thought I should update now that the school year is done.
As I sit here thinking about packing my shit up to go home for the summer I wonder, like I wondered at the exact same time last year....Where will I be come September? Last year I was planning my Out West Adventure with Cory, it happened....this year Im wondering where and the fuck I plan on living, but most importantly what school will I be at!!
Yes, I had this big revelation last night that I don't want to be at Grand Valley and need a change. So now it's time to apply to Michigan State!!! Don't ask, point is I have fun there, I have friends there, Im happy there. Ask me in a month what im doing, Im sure it will change. Listen to that Whitney Houston song, "Try It On My Own"...It explains everything you need to know about me.
So guys, lets talk guys!YAY!!!! They suck, come to the conclusion it's not me NEVER was me, it's the guy.......I think....
There was the tall handsome old enough to drink guy, the swimmer with the amazing body, the one we will call Mariah and one barely old enough to vote. They came, they went, they sort of are like a Miss USA Pageant, becuase they all took a month of my life, so I will call them Mr. January, Mr. February, Mr. March & Mr. April.....
Mr. January-Total hottie, nice, old enough to have a mature conversation and he could actually go out to the bars!!! 20 points for me. Great date, but I let me obsessive side take a hold YET AGAIN and scared the shit out of him. However, I realized it, let it go and nothing really changed.
Lesson learned-Don't think you aren't good enough, you are...just take it slow.
Mr. February-Different intrest, different style but hot body. He was the one, the one where you think I'll die for you!haha Yeah you guessed it, I became obsessed again, so much for that lesson I learned. This was different though, this was weird. The moment I let go, he came back, I continued to let go.
Lesson learned-You can take it slow, BUT sometimes too slowwww can be to late.
Mr. March-Remember my dirty little secret. End of story.
Lesson learned-Find someone your own age, and I MEAN YOUR OWN AGE.
Mr. April-Wonderful, Cute, Fun, Charming.......The one you know is the best you've had in a year. The one where you wake up knowing he is thinking about you. The one who promises to never leave you. The one that will change your mind about guys.
Lesson learned-Find someone your own age. Did I just say that again?
So May has arrived and no new guys!:( Sort of weird isn't it. Well Id like to say Mr. April will take the title of Mr. May but the chances of that happening are slim. So I have realized the only boy who still takes such good care of me is the EX....Z, Zoe, Joey....He keeps me in line, although I keep making mistakes. So if he leaves for Arizona well then I will pretty much continue to fuck up.
So as I go pack up my shit, I leave with hope, with a sense of finally growing up and being smart about any future relationship I get involved in.....Ha, Im sorry did I just say smart?
Until next time......
As I sit here thinking about packing my shit up to go home for the summer I wonder, like I wondered at the exact same time last year....Where will I be come September? Last year I was planning my Out West Adventure with Cory, it happened....this year Im wondering where and the fuck I plan on living, but most importantly what school will I be at!!
Yes, I had this big revelation last night that I don't want to be at Grand Valley and need a change. So now it's time to apply to Michigan State!!! Don't ask, point is I have fun there, I have friends there, Im happy there. Ask me in a month what im doing, Im sure it will change. Listen to that Whitney Houston song, "Try It On My Own"...It explains everything you need to know about me.
So guys, lets talk guys!YAY!!!! They suck, come to the conclusion it's not me NEVER was me, it's the guy.......I think....
There was the tall handsome old enough to drink guy, the swimmer with the amazing body, the one we will call Mariah and one barely old enough to vote. They came, they went, they sort of are like a Miss USA Pageant, becuase they all took a month of my life, so I will call them Mr. January, Mr. February, Mr. March & Mr. April.....
Mr. January-Total hottie, nice, old enough to have a mature conversation and he could actually go out to the bars!!! 20 points for me. Great date, but I let me obsessive side take a hold YET AGAIN and scared the shit out of him. However, I realized it, let it go and nothing really changed.
Lesson learned-Don't think you aren't good enough, you are...just take it slow.
Mr. February-Different intrest, different style but hot body. He was the one, the one where you think I'll die for you!haha Yeah you guessed it, I became obsessed again, so much for that lesson I learned. This was different though, this was weird. The moment I let go, he came back, I continued to let go.
Lesson learned-You can take it slow, BUT sometimes too slowwww can be to late.
Mr. March-Remember my dirty little secret. End of story.
Lesson learned-Find someone your own age, and I MEAN YOUR OWN AGE.
Mr. April-Wonderful, Cute, Fun, Charming.......The one you know is the best you've had in a year. The one where you wake up knowing he is thinking about you. The one who promises to never leave you. The one that will change your mind about guys.
Lesson learned-Find someone your own age. Did I just say that again?
So May has arrived and no new guys!:( Sort of weird isn't it. Well Id like to say Mr. April will take the title of Mr. May but the chances of that happening are slim. So I have realized the only boy who still takes such good care of me is the EX....Z, Zoe, Joey....He keeps me in line, although I keep making mistakes. So if he leaves for Arizona well then I will pretty much continue to fuck up.
So as I go pack up my shit, I leave with hope, with a sense of finally growing up and being smart about any future relationship I get involved in.....Ha, Im sorry did I just say smart?
Until next time......