Going Home:
I don’t know how I feel about going home. I feel that I should be happy to be going back to the states. However, I don’t feel as happy as I could. I just think that I am missing people more because everyone else says that they miss people back home so much and I want to be like everyone else and say that I miss home maybe when I really don’t so much. But I do in a way miss home. Yet part of me knows that I would like to live in another country some day. Maybe not England, or majority speaking country, maybe so, but I do know that I would like to. At times I think that there is something wrong with me because I don’t want to go home. Maybe if I did then I wouldn’t feel so bad about things. Maybe I’m just in a blasé mood. It’s a possibility. Then again, I think I miss having a job and a car the most. I hate not having the mobility like I did back home. I want an income and mobility and all the freedom that goes with it.
I wonder what's the matter with me. I know that once I get home I'm going to want to be back in Evansville asap. I know that I am going to want to move out as soon as I can. I just want to be home for the simple fact that I can't afford to be here anymore. I would like to transfer to another institution that I would be able to get a greater influence of the culture now. But alas that is not possible right now. I think that once I do my undergrad research that I'll want to stick with that as well.
I have such a jumble of thoughts right now. I want to leave and I wish that I didn't have to at the same time. I feel like I would like to live here (not Harlaxton necessarily, but London maybe...) and yet I know I have a home to go back to. I'm so confused right now on these things. And yet I have had a wonderful experience here and I think that I am reluctant to give that up.
That's it for now. I don't know what else to say.
I wonder what's the matter with me. I know that once I get home I'm going to want to be back in Evansville asap. I know that I am going to want to move out as soon as I can. I just want to be home for the simple fact that I can't afford to be here anymore. I would like to transfer to another institution that I would be able to get a greater influence of the culture now. But alas that is not possible right now. I think that once I do my undergrad research that I'll want to stick with that as well.
I have such a jumble of thoughts right now. I want to leave and I wish that I didn't have to at the same time. I feel like I would like to live here (not Harlaxton necessarily, but London maybe...) and yet I know I have a home to go back to. I'm so confused right now on these things. And yet I have had a wonderful experience here and I think that I am reluctant to give that up.
That's it for now. I don't know what else to say.