Musical
I'm lying in Hákon's bed, my laptop open, making playlists. One for that time I will finally get around to stretching again. One for comfortable background noise when I'm procrastinating so I won't have to get around to stretching again.
It's all I can do, with the pain in my stomach and the fatigue from my body wringing itself out. It settles on my mood like a thick slippery layer, a gory lining of physicality coating every thought.
I want to climb.
I've been doing a little research. It looks like I missed the classes for now, but who knows, perhaps they can arrange something for me. This is Iceland - something can always be arranged.
You just have to talk to people.
I feel so strange. Strange to myself. Comfortable in my own skin again. Unhurried. Unworried. Certain of something for once in my life. Restless, yes, because there are things now that I want that I never wanted, and suddenly the mobility I strove for is hindering me. Be careful what you wish for.
I want something. I want something. For so long all I truly longed for was to feel that I want something in this life, so I'm not just watching it pass, waiting for the credits to roll. I want it with all my heart and soul. If I could will it into being, it would spring up from the ground, because I am so full of clear, unburdened, passionate focus. I will work towards it. I will make it happen.
I have never wanted life like this. I've never found a reason before. A reason why. Life just happened. It still does. But for once, I care deeply for the direction.
And this moment, life decides to cut my anchors and wash me off to sea... the irony is too beautiful to embitter me... I simply greet the waves, my sisters, and start swimming...
It's all I can do, with the pain in my stomach and the fatigue from my body wringing itself out. It settles on my mood like a thick slippery layer, a gory lining of physicality coating every thought.
I want to climb.
I've been doing a little research. It looks like I missed the classes for now, but who knows, perhaps they can arrange something for me. This is Iceland - something can always be arranged.
You just have to talk to people.
I feel so strange. Strange to myself. Comfortable in my own skin again. Unhurried. Unworried. Certain of something for once in my life. Restless, yes, because there are things now that I want that I never wanted, and suddenly the mobility I strove for is hindering me. Be careful what you wish for.
I want something. I want something. For so long all I truly longed for was to feel that I want something in this life, so I'm not just watching it pass, waiting for the credits to roll. I want it with all my heart and soul. If I could will it into being, it would spring up from the ground, because I am so full of clear, unburdened, passionate focus. I will work towards it. I will make it happen.
I have never wanted life like this. I've never found a reason before. A reason why. Life just happened. It still does. But for once, I care deeply for the direction.
And this moment, life decides to cut my anchors and wash me off to sea... the irony is too beautiful to embitter me... I simply greet the waves, my sisters, and start swimming...