(no subject)
I don't think I know how to be anymore. I just am. Guess that doesnt make any sense - its just what came out.
I feel kind of...I dont know... lonely and isolated...but I suppose thats all self inflicted. Yesterday was the most boring day of my life...well the bit when I came home from work and the gym was. TV sucks, DVDs rarely appeal, no one is updating on forums and so I struggle to while away the time until I can go to bed without looking weird. Same again today after I got back from the million paws walk.
At least going to work kills time... even though I'm starting to realise I dont like my job much at all and have nothing but contempt for the company I work for. Again. I wonder how I go about deciphering what job I'd be good at and actually like that pays a wage I can live off?
I think I'm abnormal. I dont want to be stuck at home doing nothing. I'm not in a relationship anymore so cant use that as an excuse. And yet, I dont want to go out either... what's out there for me? Very little.
That which was familiar seems distant.
I dont like it... dont know how to fix it either. I kind of feel like I don't really exist anymore as my presence isnt really very much required except in my chair at my desk at work taking calls... and yet I cant define myself by a job I dislike.
I dont really know what I'm on about... guess I'm just trying to express that I feel lost at the moment.
I feel kind of...I dont know... lonely and isolated...but I suppose thats all self inflicted. Yesterday was the most boring day of my life...well the bit when I came home from work and the gym was. TV sucks, DVDs rarely appeal, no one is updating on forums and so I struggle to while away the time until I can go to bed without looking weird. Same again today after I got back from the million paws walk.
At least going to work kills time... even though I'm starting to realise I dont like my job much at all and have nothing but contempt for the company I work for. Again. I wonder how I go about deciphering what job I'd be good at and actually like that pays a wage I can live off?
I think I'm abnormal. I dont want to be stuck at home doing nothing. I'm not in a relationship anymore so cant use that as an excuse. And yet, I dont want to go out either... what's out there for me? Very little.
That which was familiar seems distant.
I dont like it... dont know how to fix it either. I kind of feel like I don't really exist anymore as my presence isnt really very much required except in my chair at my desk at work taking calls... and yet I cant define myself by a job I dislike.
I dont really know what I'm on about... guess I'm just trying to express that I feel lost at the moment.