fic: Conversations on a Plane (1/1)
Title: Conversations on a Plane
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: It's a long, long flight to Cambodia.
Notes: Since the moment I saw the sneak peek with the plane ride, my brain has been buzzing with random conversations they would have on that really long flight to Cambodia. Thanks to smudgegirl for catching my mistakes!
This has nothing to do with my coda series, so you can read this without having read any of that. It's a total one-shot.
Hour One
"So did you ever serve in Cambodia?"
"Yes, Danny, because I'm secretly 70 years old and served in the Vietnam War."
"See, I knew you were Captain America."
"He's over 90."
"You said you hadn't seen that movie."
"......shut up."
***
Hour Two
"I'm just saying, Danny, that whoever made that movie has no idea whatsoever how water displacement actually works."
"But they're alien ships, Steven. Maybe they have anti-gravity systems or something that make them lighter in the water. You don't know."
"Danny, it's not scientifically possible. Gravity is gravity."
"On Earth, sure, but maybe not on their planet."
"Danny, the movie takes place on Earth!"
"Yeah, well...it's still alien technology...you don't know. It could happen. Maybe."
"I accept your apology."
"Bite me."
***
Hour Three
"What's to understand, Danny? They slap a puck across ice with a stick and wear enough padding to make football players look naked by comparison."
"Seriously? You...that...seriously? Hockey is an elegant game, my friend. The skill alone required to skate fast, change direction, watch that puck, keep an eye on all the other people on the ice--it takes the hardest parts of soccer, football and baseball and then it puts them on blades less than half an inch thick on ice. How can you not get that makes it the single greatest sport created?"
"I don't see it. And don't give me that look."
"What look?"
"That 'you're an idiot' look that I know, combined with that sigh, means you're feeling superior. Trust me, that look is misplaced."
"How do you know?"
"Because that look is always misplaced."
"Really? Remind me who you called for help the first three times you had to change Joan's diapers."
"...shut up."
***
Hour Four
"Three and thirteen, Steven. This is why the Redskins suck. Three and thirteen.""
"That was one season, Danny."
"Three and thirteen."
"Yeah, and the season before that they were in the playoffs."
"Which is great, except that was the only season they'd actually had double digit wins in almost ten years. And what did they do? They ruined their quarterback. Also? Three words: Three and thirteen."
"You want three words, Danny? Jets. Michael. Vick."
"...shut up."
***
Hour Five
"I spy a bolt."
"Danny."
"I spy another bolt."
"Danny."
"I spy...wait for it...another bolt!"
"I will shoot you."
"Nice try, but your gun is with your stuff, remember?"
"I can make a gun with parts from my chair and a couple of bolts."
".....got a deck of cards?"
***
Hour Six
"24,896 bottles of beer on the wall, 24,896 bottles of beer--"
"Danny."
"Take one down, pass it around, 24,895 bottles of beer on the wall."
"I know a different version of that song called 107 ways to kill you with a beer that fell off the wall."
"Really? Wanna sing a few bars?"
"No, but I'll demonstrate if you get me a beer."
***
Hour Seven
"I never had sex in a cargo jet. Steven! You didn't drink!"
"Because I've never had sex in a cargo jet."
"We could fix that and play again."
"Danny, be serious."
"I'm just saying, that's the roomiest airplane bathroom I've ever seen."
***
Hour Eight
"I never had sex in a cargo jet."
"I'm gonna need another beer, Danno."
***
Hour Nine
"Danny."
"What?"
"Stop picking at the tape."
"Why? I mean, why is there tape on the walls of the plane to begin with?"
"Just stop picking at it?"
"Why?"
"Do you want to die?"
"What, is the tape holding the plane together? Steven? That smirk is really unbecoming, you know that, right? Right? Also, seriously, is the tape really holding the plane together?"
"Stop picking at it or you're going to find out."
***
Hour Ten
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"How about now?"
"Danny."
"Now? How about--hey, where are you going?"
"I'm going to get my gun."
"You won't shoot me."
"No, I'm going to shoot myself."
***
Hour Eleven
"I mean, it's not like I thought she was going to stay my little girl forever, but still, it feels like yesterday she was five, and tomorrow she'll be going to college."
"Time's funny when it comes to family."
"Yeah. And...I can't wait to see what she's going to do with her life, y'know? She's always surprising me. But at the same time, I feel like the last bit of my time with her is slipping away. She'll go have this amazing life and I'll be alone."
"But she'll always be your little girl. And besides...you won't be alone, Danno."
***
Hour Twelve
"Dad worked weird hours, being a cop, but he was there for us anyway, when we were kids. Well...before everything went to hell."
"What's your favorite memory?"
"I don't know, there are a few good ones from before mom...."
"Pick one."
"When I was six, I wanted to play football that fall, but I couldn't throw. Well, I could throw, and hard, but forget about aiming--I hit Mary in the head four times out of five."
"You're sure that was bad aim?"
"Shut up."
"So one of your favorite memories is beaning your sister in the head with a football repeatedly?"
"No, after that, Dad took me to the park and showed me how to aim the ball just right, how to get the perfect roll off my fingertips. It was just one afternoon, but I had his full attention. It was like there was nothing else in the world he wanted to be doing except helping me throw the ball over and over."
"Did it help?"
"I was quarterback from age six all the way through high school."
"I bet he was proud."
"Yeah....I think he was."
---
END
Like my fic? Check out my first original novel, for Kindle and in paperback!
US | IN | UK | DE | FR | ES | IT | JP | BR | CA | MX | AU
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: It's a long, long flight to Cambodia.
Notes: Since the moment I saw the sneak peek with the plane ride, my brain has been buzzing with random conversations they would have on that really long flight to Cambodia. Thanks to smudgegirl for catching my mistakes!
This has nothing to do with my coda series, so you can read this without having read any of that. It's a total one-shot.
Hour One
"So did you ever serve in Cambodia?"
"Yes, Danny, because I'm secretly 70 years old and served in the Vietnam War."
"See, I knew you were Captain America."
"He's over 90."
"You said you hadn't seen that movie."
"......shut up."
***
Hour Two
"I'm just saying, Danny, that whoever made that movie has no idea whatsoever how water displacement actually works."
"But they're alien ships, Steven. Maybe they have anti-gravity systems or something that make them lighter in the water. You don't know."
"Danny, it's not scientifically possible. Gravity is gravity."
"On Earth, sure, but maybe not on their planet."
"Danny, the movie takes place on Earth!"
"Yeah, well...it's still alien technology...you don't know. It could happen. Maybe."
"I accept your apology."
"Bite me."
***
Hour Three
"What's to understand, Danny? They slap a puck across ice with a stick and wear enough padding to make football players look naked by comparison."
"Seriously? You...that...seriously? Hockey is an elegant game, my friend. The skill alone required to skate fast, change direction, watch that puck, keep an eye on all the other people on the ice--it takes the hardest parts of soccer, football and baseball and then it puts them on blades less than half an inch thick on ice. How can you not get that makes it the single greatest sport created?"
"I don't see it. And don't give me that look."
"What look?"
"That 'you're an idiot' look that I know, combined with that sigh, means you're feeling superior. Trust me, that look is misplaced."
"How do you know?"
"Because that look is always misplaced."
"Really? Remind me who you called for help the first three times you had to change Joan's diapers."
"...shut up."
***
Hour Four
"Three and thirteen, Steven. This is why the Redskins suck. Three and thirteen.""
"That was one season, Danny."
"Three and thirteen."
"Yeah, and the season before that they were in the playoffs."
"Which is great, except that was the only season they'd actually had double digit wins in almost ten years. And what did they do? They ruined their quarterback. Also? Three words: Three and thirteen."
"You want three words, Danny? Jets. Michael. Vick."
"...shut up."
***
Hour Five
"I spy a bolt."
"Danny."
"I spy another bolt."
"Danny."
"I spy...wait for it...another bolt!"
"I will shoot you."
"Nice try, but your gun is with your stuff, remember?"
"I can make a gun with parts from my chair and a couple of bolts."
".....got a deck of cards?"
***
Hour Six
"24,896 bottles of beer on the wall, 24,896 bottles of beer--"
"Danny."
"Take one down, pass it around, 24,895 bottles of beer on the wall."
"I know a different version of that song called 107 ways to kill you with a beer that fell off the wall."
"Really? Wanna sing a few bars?"
"No, but I'll demonstrate if you get me a beer."
***
Hour Seven
"I never had sex in a cargo jet. Steven! You didn't drink!"
"Because I've never had sex in a cargo jet."
"We could fix that and play again."
"Danny, be serious."
"I'm just saying, that's the roomiest airplane bathroom I've ever seen."
***
Hour Eight
"I never had sex in a cargo jet."
"I'm gonna need another beer, Danno."
***
Hour Nine
"Danny."
"What?"
"Stop picking at the tape."
"Why? I mean, why is there tape on the walls of the plane to begin with?"
"Just stop picking at it?"
"Why?"
"Do you want to die?"
"What, is the tape holding the plane together? Steven? That smirk is really unbecoming, you know that, right? Right? Also, seriously, is the tape really holding the plane together?"
"Stop picking at it or you're going to find out."
***
Hour Ten
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"Are we there yet?"
"Danny."
"How about now?"
"Danny."
"Now? How about--hey, where are you going?"
"I'm going to get my gun."
"You won't shoot me."
"No, I'm going to shoot myself."
***
Hour Eleven
"I mean, it's not like I thought she was going to stay my little girl forever, but still, it feels like yesterday she was five, and tomorrow she'll be going to college."
"Time's funny when it comes to family."
"Yeah. And...I can't wait to see what she's going to do with her life, y'know? She's always surprising me. But at the same time, I feel like the last bit of my time with her is slipping away. She'll go have this amazing life and I'll be alone."
"But she'll always be your little girl. And besides...you won't be alone, Danno."
***
Hour Twelve
"Dad worked weird hours, being a cop, but he was there for us anyway, when we were kids. Well...before everything went to hell."
"What's your favorite memory?"
"I don't know, there are a few good ones from before mom...."
"Pick one."
"When I was six, I wanted to play football that fall, but I couldn't throw. Well, I could throw, and hard, but forget about aiming--I hit Mary in the head four times out of five."
"You're sure that was bad aim?"
"Shut up."
"So one of your favorite memories is beaning your sister in the head with a football repeatedly?"
"No, after that, Dad took me to the park and showed me how to aim the ball just right, how to get the perfect roll off my fingertips. It was just one afternoon, but I had his full attention. It was like there was nothing else in the world he wanted to be doing except helping me throw the ball over and over."
"Did it help?"
"I was quarterback from age six all the way through high school."
"I bet he was proud."
"Yeah....I think he was."
---
END
Like my fic? Check out my first original novel, for Kindle and in paperback!
US | IN | UK | DE | FR | ES | IT | JP | BR | CA | MX | AU