Ramblings of a forgotten time…
That’s what I post.
The engine of my mind is at a rats race pace. All consuming and always available.
Discontent.
Why is it always discontent?
There is Sherman my beautiful cat. 8 years through it all. So sad to have lost my girly. But I think he’s happy to have more of my attention.
I can’t say all that I want to say right now but let’s keep it fragmented as always.
Always. My favorite word.
Things aren’t bad. But I feel like an emotional hostage.
Not able to be what I am.
Distraction.
Neighbors shooting fireworks for no reason.
It’s your idea to go out. But I feel you don’t want to. Pulling teeth.
A dark wave of emptiness.
Myself is not what makes you happy. My unhappiness effects you too much. You disengage.
Alone.
I fill all that you are with love. My love isn’t actions. It doesn’t make sense to you.
Do I bottle?
A fresh batch of unhappiness?
Do I charge at the wall in front of me, or make the grueling climb up?
Let’s figure it out.
Love and light,
Chel
The engine of my mind is at a rats race pace. All consuming and always available.
Discontent.
Why is it always discontent?
There is Sherman my beautiful cat. 8 years through it all. So sad to have lost my girly. But I think he’s happy to have more of my attention.
I can’t say all that I want to say right now but let’s keep it fragmented as always.
Always. My favorite word.
Things aren’t bad. But I feel like an emotional hostage.
Not able to be what I am.
Distraction.
Neighbors shooting fireworks for no reason.
It’s your idea to go out. But I feel you don’t want to. Pulling teeth.
A dark wave of emptiness.
Myself is not what makes you happy. My unhappiness effects you too much. You disengage.
Alone.
I fill all that you are with love. My love isn’t actions. It doesn’t make sense to you.
Do I bottle?
A fresh batch of unhappiness?
Do I charge at the wall in front of me, or make the grueling climb up?
Let’s figure it out.
Love and light,
Chel