two thirds of the way through...
what else can i say...
it's the first day of august.
tomorrow night is john mayer.
i remember hearing about this concert months ago, thinking it was all so far away.
i'm leaving the house that i've lived in since third grade monday or tuesday. it's not real yet because it doesn't look empty. it could be summer laziness or it could just be the unwillingness to let go, because my parents have been telling me to pack up the things in my room, and i haven't done much. how can i put an existence of nine years into boxes and piles and expect to keep it all the same once it gets somewhere else...
my dog turned eleven last month and every day it shows more and more. for the past couple of years my stupid, loose-lipped brother would say that she was getting old, trying to crack into the mindset that i've had forever, that she's just the same as always, and even better because she doesn't tear into things or have accidents anymore. i think it's possible to teach an old dog new tricks, but it's getting to be more evident that you can't teach an old dog old tricks... she's not the same anymore and it kills me because this whole summer has been a dip into the unfamiliars of life and in twenty days it'll be a plunge. and if anything it'd be amazing to come home to my dog running to the door and wagging her tail. having her means having to do basically everything for her, and yet i don't mind... it's an easy responsibility because it's so second nature. i'm just terrified that something will happen when i'm away. she's an institution in my life, like this house, plus a couple of years.
it's always weird to think that within the next couple months, i will feel more at home in east lansing than i will in our new house... as it is, it feels like visiting a museum... i can't sit on the couches without the utmost caution, it always feel cold and it smells like there's no real life to it... the only life comes from those who pass through it quickly, not even long enough to leave a trail of scent. and not to be an ungrateful brat, because i know that this new house is a dream house, a tribute to time and work and my parents' dreams... but sometimes i can't help but think that i'd feel just fine if i came home to this house for the next four years...
even though it is pretty nice to be five minutes away from everyplace and everyone, especially the friends who'll come home for vacations and summers, and those who'll still be at cranbrook next year...
and just cranbrook itself.
my extended backyard.
it's the first day of august.
tomorrow night is john mayer.
i remember hearing about this concert months ago, thinking it was all so far away.
i'm leaving the house that i've lived in since third grade monday or tuesday. it's not real yet because it doesn't look empty. it could be summer laziness or it could just be the unwillingness to let go, because my parents have been telling me to pack up the things in my room, and i haven't done much. how can i put an existence of nine years into boxes and piles and expect to keep it all the same once it gets somewhere else...
my dog turned eleven last month and every day it shows more and more. for the past couple of years my stupid, loose-lipped brother would say that she was getting old, trying to crack into the mindset that i've had forever, that she's just the same as always, and even better because she doesn't tear into things or have accidents anymore. i think it's possible to teach an old dog new tricks, but it's getting to be more evident that you can't teach an old dog old tricks... she's not the same anymore and it kills me because this whole summer has been a dip into the unfamiliars of life and in twenty days it'll be a plunge. and if anything it'd be amazing to come home to my dog running to the door and wagging her tail. having her means having to do basically everything for her, and yet i don't mind... it's an easy responsibility because it's so second nature. i'm just terrified that something will happen when i'm away. she's an institution in my life, like this house, plus a couple of years.
it's always weird to think that within the next couple months, i will feel more at home in east lansing than i will in our new house... as it is, it feels like visiting a museum... i can't sit on the couches without the utmost caution, it always feel cold and it smells like there's no real life to it... the only life comes from those who pass through it quickly, not even long enough to leave a trail of scent. and not to be an ungrateful brat, because i know that this new house is a dream house, a tribute to time and work and my parents' dreams... but sometimes i can't help but think that i'd feel just fine if i came home to this house for the next four years...
even though it is pretty nice to be five minutes away from everyplace and everyone, especially the friends who'll come home for vacations and summers, and those who'll still be at cranbrook next year...
and just cranbrook itself.
my extended backyard.