if your so happy then why do you cry?
So i am very aware that most of what i am about to say is gonna sound homo but here goes...
this weeks been pretty busy.
monday... well i forget
tuesday... i got a back massage- desperate need of one.. and i did something else but i forgot also lol
and today :) well today i got my hair done and i went wedding dress shopping with my cusin.
In movies you always see the girl put on the wedding dress and everyone crys, its real emotional.. anyways i didnt think wedding dress shopping would be like that at all, especially for me. i am not real close with my cusin but i think were getting closer. and i love her alot.. alot... ALOT. lol anyways she put on this dress that i picked out and when she came out of the dressing room i searously lost my breath. she was gordgous. i have never seen someone so beautiful. i have also never been to a real wedding. she glowed. it was amazing. and i searously almost started crying but i refused too. after seeing her in that dress it like hit me how big, how real, how important marrage is. how sacrid it is. i only wish that i look 1/2 as beautiful on my wedding day as she looked today.
I think in the past few months i ve grown up alot, realised alot and have seen alot. I realised how important friendship is. I ve realised that you cant give your friendship to just anyone because friend ship is probably a gift that requires more time, energy and attention then anything in the world. I think over the past 4 years i have spead myself too thin, i ve befriended anyone. i didnt exclude anyone. even the people i probably should have. i havent made the time for my true friends, who have always stood by my side, that i should have. i havent made time for myself, to just reflect. this obviously caused me a great deal of problems.
I think that when you pick your friends you need to pick them wisely. you become the people you hang out with. and i dont like the person i was becoming. not only that but i didnt know the person i was becoming. i didnt even know the people i was hanging out with cause i didnt put enough time into those relationships. i didnt know my family. and family is one of the most important things in the world. so although it may be looked at as being mean.. you cant befriend everyone you meet... no one has that much time or energy.
part of growing up is being ok with being alone i think. Lately i have enjoyed my life more then i ever have. friends that are no longer appart of my life make comments like i ve been bored or i havent gone out in a while. it kinda bugs me because 1 i have just reached a point where i dont need to be with friends or bfs to be happy. 2 because their no longer appart of my life so how would they know and 3 because their so imature that they can possibly see/ understand how being alone, just living life with out the party can possibly be fun. its so agervating for me when people can understand me or comprehend certin things, i think i really need to work on pacients with people. anyways. life isnt always a party and i think that when you reach a certin maturity you can see that.
tomarrow i am picking jess up from school and we are going to the mall, i dont really have any need for going to the mall but i want to hang out with her because i think i need to work on rebuilding my friendship with her. i definetly miss her alot.
i think i am getting better at over looking other peoples faults, thats always been a BIG draw back of mine.
anywho night for now <3