(no subject)
Today was an evenful day..
I waxed my arm pits.. probably shouldnt be sharing that with everyone.. anyways they were bleeding.. like the pores were.. was gonna post a pic but decided not to ahha
I also signed up to be a big sister and... last but certinly not least
I spent some time with good ol' sean.
This guy told me the other day how he could tell i was young because i smile so much.. i def took it as a compliment but it made me think. i can see how people can lose their smiles with all the hate, pain and heartake the world brings, but i hope the world never breaks me, i hope i neveer lose my smile because i want to be the one who makes others smile and usually that requires a smile. and this may sound nieve but when i grow up i want to bring a smile to peoples faces. i dont want to lose my innocents i dont want to become cold and lose my ability to see all the color life brings..... I dont wanna grow up.
I am starting to get really into underoath... alot of the lyrics are sad and depressing, and although i dont feel sad or depressed i remember a time when i did and i can see how someone can so passionately feel so terrable and it just breaks my heart. the music is so real it just like grasp you and shows you feeling so real... so much pain. it hurts so bad hearing these lyrics it hurts to know that its out of my control i cant change it i cant make it better. alot of my sadness comes from simular feelings i think.. i want to change everything, help everyone, make everything happy, better and i have come to realise i cant control everything, i cant save people from hurting themselves i cant change people or situations... i have to just learn to let go
My dad seemed happier today, that made me kinda happy and as much as i dont wanna admit it my dads feelings still control mine sometimes. its so frusterating, it seems out of my control. if hes happy i am happy. if hes sad i am sad... its crazy idk i just wanna break away so bad and feel what i actually feel and not what someone else does.
showing that you can be mean dosnt show that your cool... it shows that you can be mean << just had to get that across to you.
i am done with alot of people.