I said: boy, you are my Fifth Avenue

[stellaluna_]

This is my 1,000th post.

I feel like I should have something profound, or at least interesting, to say, but I don't, not really.

In the course of those 1,000 entries I've:

• written probably something over 500K words of fanfic;


• written reviews for every single episode of CSI:NY from S2 onwards (and a couple of scattered ones for S1);


• written reviews of various other episodes of TV shows and movies;


• revealed my shallow aesthetically refined side and my general fashion obsession;


• come up with the Fashion Watch for my episode reviews, something that started as a lark and evolved into a regular feature that's one of my favorite things to write every week;


• gotten new insights into how I feel about things like narrative structure and stealth character development and character porn and sexuality and subtext (I highly approve of all of them);


• discovered a few narrative obsessions of my own, like negative space and the fellowsoldiers ethos and water imagery;


• posted music, sometimes with accompanying fic, and got to share my favorite songs with other people the way they'd shared theirs with me;


• solicited opinions on important subjects like what kind of underwear Don Flack prefers;


• had conversations about fandom and all kinds of other topics with lots of different people, and gotten into some amazing, insightful discussions;


• got to meet other fans and talk to them about our shared interests;


• made new friends that I never would have met otherwise;


• found, among those good friends, a couple of people to whom I can talk about almost anything, sometimes for hours at a time, and who are also an amazing support system as my first readers when I'm trying to beat a story into shape;


• occasionally talked about my personal life, never without trepidation no matter how vague I was being;


• and just generally found a lot of fun and a lot of joy that I never would have otherwise

I started writing fic in January 2005, because I wasn't writing and I was going out of my mind, and because I thought this might be a way to change that. I never expected that I would write as many words as I have since then, or as many stories, or that I'd end up pushing and challenging myself as much as I have.

The other reason I started writing was because, simply, I wanted to talk to other fans. I craved conversation and discussion, and I hoped maybe I'd find one or two people to talk to.

I really, honestly never expected that many people would respond, even so. I never realized that I'd find quite so many people to talk to, or that people would be willing to read what I write and talk to me. I don't quite believe it even now. It's...it's a gift, it really is, and I'm grateful for it every day. I'm grateful for all the people I've met and all the words I've written and this show I still love so much that has guided me to all of that.

I don't look at my info page too frequently, but I did tonight (and earlier this week, which is when I realized I was coming up on 1,000 posts). There are a lot of people here, and a lot of history now. It's pretty damned amazing. I just...I don't know. I never think that I do anything very special, or unusual. I write fic. I write overly analytical reviews of crime shows. And I think I must be doing something good, because here I still am, and here all you are, and I feel guilty for even pointing that out, like I'm overstepping myself by saying any of that.

To everyone who I talk to and who posts, ever: thank you. Thank you for all the conversation and good times.

To everyone who reads here, but has never said anything: say hi sometime, if you like. I'd enjoy it.

I'm really looking forward to my next 1,000 posts.