The Grim and Dangerous Boxes
Title : Gym Class Woes
The Grim and Dangerous Boxes; Chapter 2
Author :
stellaann
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : B/E
Genre : Pure fluffy fluff with humor
Summary : Bella and Edward in gym class together when they
discover they will be going on a field trip where Bella will be armed.
But with what? And what will this fatal day bring?
The next two days went by too quickly. Everyday during gym we would
go over rules and regulations. Each day the looks of fear towards me
were getting worse and worse. It wasn’t until one day before the “trip of hell”
to the paintball park that we actually started to go over how to use the gun.
Coach Clapp made the mistake of actually bringing the guns to class so we
could learn how to use them properly. He walked into the gym holding a large
brown box with a red warning label that said Use safely and keep out of the hands
of children. More like keep out of the hands of Bella, I thought bitterly.
He called us all in to form a circle around him. Edward came up behind
me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed and he placed his
head in the crook of my neck.
“What are you thinking, Bella?"
Oh, Just how I will probably kill our whole class (with the exception of Edward),
get arrested by my own father, have my Vampire boyfriend testify against me in
a court of law, and spend the rest of my stupid mortal life being some other
woman’s bitch until I eventually kill her, accidentally, by slipping and falling down
the stairs on top of her. Then I will get put into the mental ward when I start
yelling at imaginary vampires because they wouldn’t change me when I wanted them to, DAMN IT!
“Nothing much.” I answered with a shrug. No need to let him in on my crazy tirade.
I would have blushed by my lie if I wasn’t so terrified of my own upcoming doom.
I honestly didn’t know if it was possible to kill someone with a paintball gun,
but if there was a way I am sure that I would “accidentally” figure it out.
“Liar.” He smirked at me then leaned down to give my neck a kiss. I shuddered
and goose bumps rose all along my neck. We were lucky that coach Clapp
was busy with the rest of, what looked to be, 6 boxes. I didn’t want Edward to
get in trouble again for being “distracted” by me. I was especially glad that
Coach didn’t see when Edward then proceeded to kiss up along my jaw to
behind my ear. Thank goodness he was standing behind me otherwise I
wouldn’t have been able to stand up.
He stopped just as Coach Clapp turned around and looked at my flushed face
with a smug look. I narrowed my eyes at him before playfully slapping his hard
arm. He was just too beautiful. Even in his ugly gym uniform he could be posing
for a Ralph Lauren ad. He gave me his crooked smile. I went to smile back at him
when his head whipped around inhumanly fast and his face darkened. I followed
his gaze to find Lauren looking at me with a look of disgust and hate on her face.
I would ask Edward later what she was thinking but at the moment he was busy
giving her death glare 5. That was the one that he usually saved for when I said
something about Jake. Death glare 4 was reserved for Mike and his so called
“impure” thoughts about me. The rest were reserved for different reasons that
weren’t really important to me at the moment because I was staring at Edwards
angelic face that was turned into something that would have made me wet myself
if it was directed at me.
I was getting worried that Edward might burn a hole through Lauren’s powdered
forehead if I didn’t make him stop soon. I went to grab his shirt when, thankfully,
Clapp called the class to attention.
“Ok kids, today you are going to get in groups of three…wait…no groups of four.
Each group will get a gun. Don’t worry though, all the guns are on safety. Then we
will go over how to load the gun and shoot it. Okay, now group up.”
In what seemed like 2 seconds the entire class had moved at least 10 feet
away from me. I was surprised when even Mike moved away from me. I guess his
chivalry didn’t go ahead of his health. Smart guy.
“Bella, would you like to be in my group?” I smiled at Edward. Thank goodness he
was a vampire and invulnerable because I really didn’t want to hurt him. He laughed
at my worshipping smile and pulled me against his side. It seemed that the rest of
the class had paired of into groups. It was just me and Edward on our own. I silently
cheered to myself. I wouldn’t end up hurting anyone if I was with just Edward.
Coach Clapp came by and handed us out gun, giving us our required safety
speech. As he walked away he gave Edward a meaningful look that clearly said
“Don’t give Bella the gun”.
We were given the instructions on how to load it and given some space to try.
Edward held the gun in his hands and asked me to hand him the paintballs. I was
ecstatic that he didn’t want me to hold the gun. Maybe if I just hid up a tree tomorrow
I wouldn’t have to even try to fire the gun. I put the balls in his hand and he deftly loaded
the gun. Since we were the first ones to figure it out Edward decided that he should get
a little reward. He set the gun down and looked at me seductively. I giggled because he
was dazzling me and he knew it. I was beyond caring though. His tawny eyes had me
mesmerized otherwise I would have stopped him when he started peppering my
forehead with kissed. Forehead…that made me think of something. Then it hit me…
“Edward, what was Lauren thinking that made you angry?”
He pulled away from his kisses with a slight growl and looked a little perturbed for a moment.
“She was just being nasty Bella. Don’t worry about it.” He tried to return to his earlier
activities when I pushed him away.
“I want to know, Edward.” I tried to look as stern as was possible. He sighed in
defeat. Since Italy he didn’t like making me upset.
“She was thinking that you would be lucky if you didn’t end up killing me because
you are the clumsiest person that she has ever seen in her life.”
I smiled, “Well that’s good then, isn’t it?” He looked confused so I continued,
“Well that means she doesn’t know you are un-hurtable,” I paused at my made
up word, “and that I can prove her wrong.”
It was at the moment though that I would prove Lauren right. As I went in to
throw my arms around Edward, I somehow managed to kneel on the handle
of the gun and lift it up. What happened next had to be a sign that karma absolutely
loathed me because the next thing I know I hear a whoosh sound and then look down
to see blue paint splattered on my shirt. I did a quick check over to make sure nothing
was hurt. I was fine so I looked up with a smile at Edward.
He looked so shocked- like he was about to burst out laughing or crying (if he could),
I wasn’t sure which. Edward had blue paint all over his glorious face. It looked like the
paint ball had made contact with his eyeball.
“Edw…I am…Oh my GOD…so sorry…” My bumbling was cut off by his rumble of
laughter. Laughter that caught the attention of the class. Then I realized something.
Any normal human person would be crying about now. Edward seemed to realize
this at the same moment because he gave me one last bright smile then continued to
cover his eye with his hand and let loose a long line of curses. He started rolling on the
ground yelling in pain. Wow, he put George Clooney to shame.
Coach Clapp ran over, looked at my guilty face, realized what happened, and told me,
breathlessly, to get Edward to the nurse NOW.
I kneeled down by Edward and he put on a show. He grabbed on to me weakly, as his
one hand was still covering his eye, and “bravely” lifted himself off the ground. I
expected the class to start a slow clap for him as we walked from the gym. The second
we were out of sight he lifted me off the ground and started running. Before I knew it we
were in his car and Edward was barely controlling his laughter.
“So, how did I do. Do you think I fooled them?” He was so smug and handsome,
even with blue paint all over his face, and I felt so stupid. Now everyone thought that I
had shot out my boyfriend’s eyeball. How great for me. I gave him a pathetically fake
smile and he pulled me onto his lap.
“I love you, Bella. Even if you will be the death of me.” I started to make a retort when
his perfect lips cut me short. I didn’t mind though. What I did mind was the fact that as
he kissed me, he was rubbing the blue paint all over my face. Then he started to
massage my back and I forgot about that too.
NEXT...
Authors Note-- I am just finally getting along to the last chapters on this so I am reposting this on my LJ for when I finally get around to posting a master list.
~Stella
The Grim and Dangerous Boxes; Chapter 2
Author :
stellaann
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : B/E
Genre : Pure fluffy fluff with humor
Summary : Bella and Edward in gym class together when they
discover they will be going on a field trip where Bella will be armed.
But with what? And what will this fatal day bring?
The next two days went by too quickly. Everyday during gym we would
go over rules and regulations. Each day the looks of fear towards me
were getting worse and worse. It wasn’t until one day before the “trip of hell”
to the paintball park that we actually started to go over how to use the gun.
Coach Clapp made the mistake of actually bringing the guns to class so we
could learn how to use them properly. He walked into the gym holding a large
brown box with a red warning label that said Use safely and keep out of the hands
of children. More like keep out of the hands of Bella, I thought bitterly.
He called us all in to form a circle around him. Edward came up behind
me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed and he placed his
head in the crook of my neck.
“What are you thinking, Bella?"
Oh, Just how I will probably kill our whole class (with the exception of Edward),
get arrested by my own father, have my Vampire boyfriend testify against me in
a court of law, and spend the rest of my stupid mortal life being some other
woman’s bitch until I eventually kill her, accidentally, by slipping and falling down
the stairs on top of her. Then I will get put into the mental ward when I start
yelling at imaginary vampires because they wouldn’t change me when I wanted them to, DAMN IT!
“Nothing much.” I answered with a shrug. No need to let him in on my crazy tirade.
I would have blushed by my lie if I wasn’t so terrified of my own upcoming doom.
I honestly didn’t know if it was possible to kill someone with a paintball gun,
but if there was a way I am sure that I would “accidentally” figure it out.
“Liar.” He smirked at me then leaned down to give my neck a kiss. I shuddered
and goose bumps rose all along my neck. We were lucky that coach Clapp
was busy with the rest of, what looked to be, 6 boxes. I didn’t want Edward to
get in trouble again for being “distracted” by me. I was especially glad that
Coach didn’t see when Edward then proceeded to kiss up along my jaw to
behind my ear. Thank goodness he was standing behind me otherwise I
wouldn’t have been able to stand up.
He stopped just as Coach Clapp turned around and looked at my flushed face
with a smug look. I narrowed my eyes at him before playfully slapping his hard
arm. He was just too beautiful. Even in his ugly gym uniform he could be posing
for a Ralph Lauren ad. He gave me his crooked smile. I went to smile back at him
when his head whipped around inhumanly fast and his face darkened. I followed
his gaze to find Lauren looking at me with a look of disgust and hate on her face.
I would ask Edward later what she was thinking but at the moment he was busy
giving her death glare 5. That was the one that he usually saved for when I said
something about Jake. Death glare 4 was reserved for Mike and his so called
“impure” thoughts about me. The rest were reserved for different reasons that
weren’t really important to me at the moment because I was staring at Edwards
angelic face that was turned into something that would have made me wet myself
if it was directed at me.
I was getting worried that Edward might burn a hole through Lauren’s powdered
forehead if I didn’t make him stop soon. I went to grab his shirt when, thankfully,
Clapp called the class to attention.
“Ok kids, today you are going to get in groups of three…wait…no groups of four.
Each group will get a gun. Don’t worry though, all the guns are on safety. Then we
will go over how to load the gun and shoot it. Okay, now group up.”
In what seemed like 2 seconds the entire class had moved at least 10 feet
away from me. I was surprised when even Mike moved away from me. I guess his
chivalry didn’t go ahead of his health. Smart guy.
“Bella, would you like to be in my group?” I smiled at Edward. Thank goodness he
was a vampire and invulnerable because I really didn’t want to hurt him. He laughed
at my worshipping smile and pulled me against his side. It seemed that the rest of
the class had paired of into groups. It was just me and Edward on our own. I silently
cheered to myself. I wouldn’t end up hurting anyone if I was with just Edward.
Coach Clapp came by and handed us out gun, giving us our required safety
speech. As he walked away he gave Edward a meaningful look that clearly said
“Don’t give Bella the gun”.
We were given the instructions on how to load it and given some space to try.
Edward held the gun in his hands and asked me to hand him the paintballs. I was
ecstatic that he didn’t want me to hold the gun. Maybe if I just hid up a tree tomorrow
I wouldn’t have to even try to fire the gun. I put the balls in his hand and he deftly loaded
the gun. Since we were the first ones to figure it out Edward decided that he should get
a little reward. He set the gun down and looked at me seductively. I giggled because he
was dazzling me and he knew it. I was beyond caring though. His tawny eyes had me
mesmerized otherwise I would have stopped him when he started peppering my
forehead with kissed. Forehead…that made me think of something. Then it hit me…
“Edward, what was Lauren thinking that made you angry?”
He pulled away from his kisses with a slight growl and looked a little perturbed for a moment.
“She was just being nasty Bella. Don’t worry about it.” He tried to return to his earlier
activities when I pushed him away.
“I want to know, Edward.” I tried to look as stern as was possible. He sighed in
defeat. Since Italy he didn’t like making me upset.
“She was thinking that you would be lucky if you didn’t end up killing me because
you are the clumsiest person that she has ever seen in her life.”
I smiled, “Well that’s good then, isn’t it?” He looked confused so I continued,
“Well that means she doesn’t know you are un-hurtable,” I paused at my made
up word, “and that I can prove her wrong.”
It was at the moment though that I would prove Lauren right. As I went in to
throw my arms around Edward, I somehow managed to kneel on the handle
of the gun and lift it up. What happened next had to be a sign that karma absolutely
loathed me because the next thing I know I hear a whoosh sound and then look down
to see blue paint splattered on my shirt. I did a quick check over to make sure nothing
was hurt. I was fine so I looked up with a smile at Edward.
He looked so shocked- like he was about to burst out laughing or crying (if he could),
I wasn’t sure which. Edward had blue paint all over his glorious face. It looked like the
paint ball had made contact with his eyeball.
“Edw…I am…Oh my GOD…so sorry…” My bumbling was cut off by his rumble of
laughter. Laughter that caught the attention of the class. Then I realized something.
Any normal human person would be crying about now. Edward seemed to realize
this at the same moment because he gave me one last bright smile then continued to
cover his eye with his hand and let loose a long line of curses. He started rolling on the
ground yelling in pain. Wow, he put George Clooney to shame.
Coach Clapp ran over, looked at my guilty face, realized what happened, and told me,
breathlessly, to get Edward to the nurse NOW.
I kneeled down by Edward and he put on a show. He grabbed on to me weakly, as his
one hand was still covering his eye, and “bravely” lifted himself off the ground. I
expected the class to start a slow clap for him as we walked from the gym. The second
we were out of sight he lifted me off the ground and started running. Before I knew it we
were in his car and Edward was barely controlling his laughter.
“So, how did I do. Do you think I fooled them?” He was so smug and handsome,
even with blue paint all over his face, and I felt so stupid. Now everyone thought that I
had shot out my boyfriend’s eyeball. How great for me. I gave him a pathetically fake
smile and he pulled me onto his lap.
“I love you, Bella. Even if you will be the death of me.” I started to make a retort when
his perfect lips cut me short. I didn’t mind though. What I did mind was the fact that as
he kissed me, he was rubbing the blue paint all over my face. Then he started to
massage my back and I forgot about that too.
NEXT...
Authors Note-- I am just finally getting along to the last chapters on this so I am reposting this on my LJ for when I finally get around to posting a master list.
~Stella